HELLO GOD!!!! ARE YOU MAD AT ME????
Posted , 20 users are following.
So I feel like God must be mad at me , like am I being punished ... Because seriously how in the world are we suppose to feel all these horrible day after day week after week month after month awful symptoms and just go about our daily lives!!! Im dizzy numb can't breathe indigestion after even drinking water, hot cold crying sad don't want to go anywhere I'm never happy nothing at all makes me laugh or smile, I'm just sad and lonely and scared all the time... Last night I couldn't sleep at all I was up with pains in chest area which I think is all just acid reflux ate my dinner late (NOT GOOD) but if I would have skipped a meal I would have had low blood sugar symptoms so instead ate late and belched all night sipped water had to use bathroom, what a vicious cycle all of it.. And why are the mornings the worst with doom and gloom crying emotionally bad? I have no stamina I'm drained tired fatigue, and feel like this is such a bad time personally professionally physically and mentally... I never knew this could all be so bad, and I want so bad to wake up from this nightmare.. I really feel like GOD must be mad at me or something to have to go thru all of this.. And all the ladies I've ever talked to always just say tough times at this time in life it will get better in time and you'll be stronger for it!! I'm so waiting for that day!! I also can't watch any bad news hear bad news from people its just so physically draining all of it!!! Sorry for the rant just really bad night and morning!!!!!
5 likes, 45 replies
Guest Gypsy014
Posted
Hi Gypsy, I know how you feel. And I think God gave me all this for the last two years to make me a more compassionate person. I no longer judge like I used to. I used to say that people who threatened or committed suicide were selfish. I know better now. I now try and take one day at a time and don't worry so much about what I don't have or what I want. I'm grateful for just being able to do a few things each day if I can. I treasure the days I feel good. And feel so lucky to finally be having a few good days here and there. Never did I ever imagine that my life would just fall apart like it did. But if we can all just hang in there I know there will be better days ahead. There's got to be.
michelle97919 Guest
Posted
Ive been reading a book called The power if the subconscious mind.
I believe a lot of info in there ties in with the bible.
It has been very helpful to me in affirming we are stronger than we think but we really do need to be thi king about what we are thinking about. If that makes sense.
I know with this hormone hell we can get into a downward spiral of negative thinking. I have and still do.
Look the book up see what you think.
This is a wonderful day for me. I am guided by God all day long. I attract blessings health and peace. I will be happy all day long.
I truly believe i the power if thought and speech but i also know it takes much persistence.
I know its so hard when you are travelling this path alone but hopefully we can all help each other through x
lisa68384 Gypsy014
Posted
I'm so sorry. I know first hand what you are going thru. I could have written it myself. I read a book called Streams in the Desert that really helped me to understand where God is in the midst of all our suffering. It was helpful. I wish I could hand you some pill that would fix it. I haven't found that either. But I can offer you the comfort of knowing you are not alone. Many of us suffer the same. Wondering how on earth we will continue to survive. But we do...one foot in front of the other...not looking to far ahead. Hugs my dear friend. You don't struggle alone.
michelle97919 lisa68384
Posted
I have that book also its very good.
Truly a very trying time but i suppose faith isnt faith without a struggle.
You cannot have a testimony without a test my husband always says x
lisa68384 michelle97919
Posted
This has been the greatest faith test of my life. At the beginning, when I first started experiencing symptoms I was so scared and then became upset with God. I battled Him and wrestled big time. I was healthy, could do anything. My symtpoms brought me crashing down to the lowest level of my life...I was in shock. I still have two kids at home and I homeschool. So hard to keep functioning. As I type this I'm having wretched symptoms...depression. dizzy, body pain. etc.... while trying to teach my kids math...with brain fog! Daily He gives me the ability to endure. It's hard but He carries us forward. I'm learning to rest, surrender and not battle. It's hard not to be afraid especially when the anxiety kicks in. I feel like I'm learning to surrender my life...cause some days just feel like death. But in my experience He brings purpose to the pain and that has brought me some motivation and goals. He has allowed me to use this struggle in my life to help others around me that are suffering. It's like medicine...to keep me going. Just when I think I can't go on, I meet someone who is struggling in life and that's gives me motivation to encourage others...to keep going. Sounds simple but my best medicine is to focus on helping others 😊 and to keep waiting and hoping...and rejoice and breath on the better day...which are few...but at least they are there.
Sassyr12a Gypsy014
Posted
Hi gypsy
I'm so sorry you feel so bad. I was in hospital a few years ago, really ill. I'm not a religious person, but I was talking to a lady who was a Catholic and has just been diagnosed with cancer. She was so calm, and brave, like she had something or knew something I didn't. At that moment I was just floundering around, absolutely terrified. So I said to Rosa,... I seriously think God has forgotten about me. She just smiled and said... No way. He's there always, all you have to do is give a little knock. All I know is, that gave me just a tiny bit of her faith, to keep me going and to believe that someone has your back. Someone has your back gypsy, I'm sure of it. Everyday all you can do is your best to stay positive. Cry if you wanna, shout, scream whatever works but try to accept how you feel and don't fight. It made a difference to me, I'm not quite as scared of what's going to drop off next. Please keep your chin up, we all care ? xxx
michelle97919 Sassyr12a
Posted
I love your reply x
Sassyr12a michelle97919
Posted
michelle97919 Sassyr12a
Posted
Hi sassy
One of my favourite scriptures is
" I can do all things through christ who strengthens me"
And another is
"God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind"
Keep believing and hoping because you can if you think you can.
I read a lot of books and something that has stuck with me is
Where the mind goes the man follows.
The bible tells us to renew our minds i believe the battle is in the mind during this transition x
Sassyr12a michelle97919
Posted
Thanks Michelle, that's beautiful xx
michelle97919 Sassyr12a
Posted
I will post some what i call
Thought conditioners
Would love for everyone to share their own
We can draw on them and even join together and practice saying them every day.
What do you ladies think?
Today is my day of opportunity what fine assests i have
My family my job my health my home
I have so many blessings.
I will do my best all day and God will help me.
I am glad to be alive x
Sassyr12a michelle97919
Posted
Hey Michelle
I'm all for that and Thankyou for suggesting it.
I'm happy that today I was able to share my light with those in darkness
I'm glad I could remember Rosa, and hopefully pay her good deed forward
I love my fabulous family, who are my everything
I'm glad I now know women who show grit, strength and determination to get closer to their best ?
Xxxx
katyD211 michelle97919
Posted
God bless you always...
sandra01720 Gypsy014
Posted
michelle97919 sandra01720
Posted
God has brought me tjrough many trials and im sure he will bring me through this one.
I was just saying in the above reply tjat my husband is a pastor and he is always reminding me it will pass.
But mine has been 10 years and counting.
Really does test your faith!!! X
michelle97919
Posted
sandra01720 michelle97919
Posted
michelle97919 sandra01720
Posted
Your husband is a pastor also.
I feel guilty for not being stronger in all this.
My husband has recently started his own church and yeah you guessed it.
Im like i can barely get through the day much less support him in his venture.
Then i feel guilty again.
So glad you replied i guess you kinda get what im talking about x
lisa68384 michelle97919
Posted
Are you able to attend church? If not, how do you deal with that grief? I have not been able to attend much at all and the church that I had been attending and was so close to just allowed me to drop out of existence for the most part. Not very much follow up
kinda breaks my heart 💔
michelle97919 lisa68384
Posted
If i dont feel up to it i dont go x