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HELP!!!!

Posted , 5 users are following.

Toodone
Toodone

I was recently diagnosed with hsv 1 & 2 my ex-bf was the only person I'd been with in almost 15 years and I was celibate for 8 of those years but he tested negative. So the dr said I must have contracted it prior to 15 years ago. I was always careful & paranoid about contracting something(obsessively so) i have never had any symptoms and still haven't had any. I have gone every year to get my ob exams and in the 8 years that I was celibate, I didn't feel there was a need to test for std's. So we started having sex again About 4 months ago (unprotected) because he had an std panel and everything came back negative but we didn't know herpes was not included in the std panel. anyway, it just so happened that my yearly exam was coming up and I asked my dr to test for everything (Absolutely not worried about anything) to my surprise, I tested positive for 2, sure that it had to be a mistake, I immediately retested and again it came back positive. In shock, disbelief and denial, I had a 3rd test called a western blot which not only confirmed the other tests but also confirm hsv1. He has been my best friend for more than 25 years and now he's very cold and distant. Of course the relationship part is over and I'm extremely hurt but worse, I think the friendship may be over too. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life but I have no clue how to begin picking up all these pieces and making sense of something that doesn't make any sense. Im freaking out, I'm afraid, I'm sad, I'm lonely and I feel completely and utterly alone. What can or should I do?

1 like, 18 replies

18 Replies

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  • Zaya1234
    Zaya1234 Toodone

    Posted

    just prey about,it was the same for me as well,my hubby an I married though but anyway I ordere the olive leaft extract I'm going to try it,it never hurts to try no matter what people say

     

    • Toodone
      Toodone Zaya1234

      Posted

      Yes, I have been obsessed with this and I too have the olive leaf extract and the black seed oil but I haven't started taking them yet. Let me know how it works for you.
    • Chick100
      Chick100 Zaya1234

      Posted

      Tiffany are you on antivirals and does this with olive leaf help prevent transmission
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Chick100

      Posted

      Only the antiviral meds reduce shedding and transmission. Alternative treatments may only help lessen the symptoms.
    • Toodone
      Toodone Zaya1234

      Posted

      Hey Tiffany, did you ever start on the olive leaf and black seed extract?
  • cartercali
    cartercali Toodone

    Posted

    Do you think they he possibly gave you the virus ?

    It makes no sense of why and how it came up out of no where ..

    Did you talk to your friend ?

    • Toodone
      Toodone cartercali

      Posted

      Yes, that was the most likely conclusion until he tested negative. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. It's crazy. I asked my dr if it were possible for the virus to be transmitted any other way (she said it was possible as most things are but not likely) any ideas? I'm open to any at this point.
  • Alexinator
    Alexinator Toodone

    Posted

    Best thing to do when finding out about it is just to calm down and not freak out. Freaking out is everyone's first reaction at first. Having someone there, anyone, definitely helps. I was diagnosed 2 months ago and it does suck to know you have it, it doesn't ruin your life though. It just changes things a bit. If you need someone to talk to, go ahead and message me or anyone else here. We are all here to help eachother
    • Toodone
      Toodone Alexinator

      Posted

      OMG!!!!! You have no idea how good it feels to hear that as I have intentionally avoided most of my friends (and family) because it feels like they could see right through me and I didn't know how to answer without lying about why the relationship ended.

      Thank you!!!

    • Alexinator
      Alexinator Toodone

      Posted

      No problem, the thing I have found most helpful is having someone to talk or at least knows. I wanted to abandon my group of friends but they told me I was being stupid. You don't have to tell everyone, just the people that you are in a relationship, family memebers and close friends. That is what I did and I am happy, I have my bad days but I am better
  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Toodone

    Posted

    Which type of test did you do for herpes before the western blot, and was the blot by the University of Washington? What about your bf (test type)? You are the same person as before, except for the diagnosis, so it doesn't say much for your bf if he's willing to walk from 25 years of friendship over this...
    • Toodone
      Toodone FelizCastus

      Posted

      It was herpes select (igg) and neither were positive for 1 just 2 then the wb (univ of wash) which was the third test in under a month returned positive results for both. His test was also the herpes select.

      initially he was all in and made me feel as if I were tripping because I wasn't dealing with this very well. So I told him that if he wanted to bail, that I would be hurt but I would understand. He said no, I'm here...but then became increasingly distant and kinda mean...I'm hurt because I thought at the very least, we could remain friends but it feels like he doesn't want to. Perhaps you're right but it still hurts.

      Thank you!!

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Toodone

      Posted

      That sucks, because the UoW western blot is indeed the most actuate. rolleyes I know it hurts right now. Perhaps he'll come around after the shock. Count yourself "lucky" that you've not had any outbreaks at least. I'm assuming you've never had any symptoms, otherwise this wouldn't have come as such a shock to you as well.
    • Toodone
      Toodone FelizCastus

      Posted

      Noooo symptoms and I'm told that I could've had it for more than 15 years with no symptoms. Really???? I still don't buy that but I don't know what else to think because once again, he tested negative.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Toodone

      Posted

      Type 1 can cause Type 2 to be asymptomatic. Most asymptomatic people actually do have symptoms when they're told what to look out for, but about 10% are truly asymptomatic. I guess you're one of the 10%!
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