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Help - at rock bottom. Alcohol has ruined my life and health

Posted , 16 users are following.

vicky56662
vicky56662

Hello

?I'm not sure where to begin. I'm 48 and I know I've drunk too much for years but since a redundancy scare at work 3 years I began drinking in secret every day (well I thought it was in secret) Anyway I lost weight, had no appetite and at Christmas 15 was feeling really ill. I tried to do dry January and lasted 17 days but I felt better then I started drinking again. well by July I felt that ill that I told my husband everything and he took me to A&E. I was in for a week, detoxed ghad LFTs which weren't very good, an ultraound which revealed fatty liver and gallstones. I was told to stop drnking and discharged with vitamin B tablets and thiamine. I also had an MRI but was never given the results of this. I stopped drinking althogether for 5 months, saw my consultant in October then for some stupid reason I started again, no where near as much but it was creeping up (This was10 days over Christmas) Anyway I told my husband again, he got angry but tried to understand and I stopped again for another 6 weeks. Then after I'd seen the consultant again I started having the odd drink. To cut along story short again over the past month Im almost back to being as bad and I don't know why. I hate myself, I feel a failure and I accept I'm an alcoholic. When I was in hospiital they said I'd get a visit from an alcohol nurse but it didn't happen. I tried to speak to my GP but all he could say was"you're at risk of cirrhosis if you don't stop" Well I feel terrible today, all shaky and rock bottom. I haven't had a drink since 6.30pm last night and I'm desperate to change. I'v rung in sick all week but will have to go in tomorrow. Only my husband knows about the excessive drinking, friends thought I'd just given up temporarily because I'd been ill. Husband doesn't drink in the house and doesn't understand how I've got into such a mess.I think he's in denial as much I am. He just doesn't get I'm not bothered about drinking socially I can go and stop after a couple I only drink alome because I'm so lonely but I'm really scaring myself now as I know I physically can't carry on like this and I'm scared of losing my job.I just need to speak to someone who understands.

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  • autumn86872
    autumn86872 vicky56662

    Posted

    I’m in need of some help. I’m 24 and I started working at a liquor store almost 2 years ago I really liked it until I started to drink heavily I ended up getting fired for drinking on the job and a week before that I told myself I would stop... I’ve struggled with alcohol for awhile now but it got so much worse when I started working there. I never knew what alcohol withdrawals were until a couple months ago I had the worst panic attack because of the withdrawal. The shaking insomnia and sweating. I went to the hospital and all they could do was get me hydrated and I went home. Up until last week I started to do better. I haven’t been without alcohol for a week at a time for I wanna say 4 years now and it’s progressively gotten much worse. I would go through about 10-12 shots of vodka a day... I’m surprised I’m not worse off health wise than I am. I’ve gained lots of weight and my hair started falling out. I suffer from depression and I hid my drinking problem for the most part but both my past serious relationships got ruined by my addiction. My mom is an alcoholic so I know it runs in my blood. I never ever thought I would let it get this bad. I need help and support from people that know what I am going through because I feel so alone. Also health wise I’m really worried about withdrawals as I’m going through one now last shot I had was around 12am last night so it’s been a whole day basically and I am suffering big time. The shaking and the nausea the sweating the heart palpitations. I just want to go to sleep but I’m so uncomfortable. What can I do to help ease this pain and what can I do to help in the long run like are there any remedies you have that can help me with the cravings because when I go like 4-5 days without drinking I really crave it and now that I lost my job which was super embarrassing I feel like all I want to do is drink but I can’t I feel so sick mentally and physically it’s so awful. I can’t believe I allowed myself to do this for so long. I honestly didn’t care anymore. I would have crazy random emotional outbursts at work or in public and I’m not that type of person sober. I would down like 5 shots and go to work and drink 5 more while working. It’s a sick torturous disease and so scary! I’m so ashamed I lost myself and many good things in my life. I lost my boyfriend who was trying to help but I constantly lied to him about my alcohol use I don’t blame him. His family ended up hating me because I lived with them and they soon found out about my alcoholism. I’m so so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I just want some help and I’m also worried about the withdrawals I hope that they don’t get worse physically. 
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree autumn86872

      Posted

      Autumn, you may want to start your own topic on this problem, but let me point you to something that I think might be of great help, especially because this runs in your family. Have a look at The Sinclair Method on this page:

      https://patient.info/forums/discuss/useful-resources-487627

      Also, google "Claudia Christian Tedx" and look for the Youtube video called "How I overcame alcoholism" with Claudia Christian. It's the method I used to cut my drinking back to less than 5% of what it used to be and I was a daily drinker for decades. You can also go to CThreeFoundation's website and have a look at the Find a Physician list there. The Options Save Lives forum can help you with some direction too. 

      You can beat this Autumn and it doesn't have to be difficult, traumatic, or expensive. I only spent about a total of $500 on my treatment and I didn't use insurance at all. 

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree autumn86872

      Posted

      You can also look on Reddit for:

      Alcoholism: Scientific and Medical Treatment Options

  • Robin2015
    Robin2015 vicky56662

    Posted

    Hello Vicky. You should try to start your own discussion as suggested by adefree although you have already had a brilliant and thoughtful reply. I assume that you are in the USA somewhere and most people here are in the UK. You are most second and we will try to assist you with your addiction. Robin

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