Help! Do I Give Up My Career? Any Insight?

So sorry that you continue to suffer. I also loved my job, but it was demanding as I was effectively running 2 large companies in addition to being on various boards of directors. After three years of trying to push through I conceded defeat, but was able to go part-time running a smallish company in the same group and thus reducing  work-related stress enormously plus giving myself more ‘me’ time..which I am still using in large measure for extra rest. 16 month’s in this is proving beneficial though it is a long and slow haul back towards good health. But only you can tell what’s right for you ...giving up my full-time work led to quite  a few months of depression for me but I came through that and I have to admit that I should have eased off  sooner, probably  before CFS really set in.

No one can make this decision other than you but sometimes it's helpful to hear other people's perspective and experiences to help guide.

My situation is similar in some ways (cfs and unable to have enough energy to work) but it's different in that I really don't love my job but I'm stuck for different reasons in that it took a very long time to train for and pays fairly well. I also have a ridiculous amount of debt and so have felt stuck in this job I know it's wrong for me, it drains me and felt contributed to my fatigue (it's a very emotionally demanding job). I tried and tried but was losing the battle so last year I arranged to reduce my hours to 3 days a week. I hoped that the extra recovery time would be enough. But now I'm a year in and I'm back off sick again. I'm giving myself a little time to rest and think about what I want to do but I think everything is telling me that I need to leave. It will have a huge impact on my life but in some ways I think that what's needed just now because the status quo is not working. I worry I'll regret leaving a profession I worked so hard to get but then I think my health is more important and the only life we have is the one we're living right now and that's all we can focus on.

I hope some of all of this is helpful.

Good luck!

My heart goes out to you, Abby. I was diagnosed with CFS 25 years ago, and as much as I had always dreamed about being a teacher, it just became too difficult for me to teach full time. I came home each day exhausted and went straight to bed. I would sleep the entire weekend, as well. The quality of my life was at its worst!

Since, I love being with kids and did not want to completely give up my dreams, I decided to find a job teaching part time allowing myself time to rest and heal, but still tying to do what I loved most. If you can, I would suggest that you try to do the same, at least for now. Hopefully, in time, you will gain enough strength and will recover to the point where you can work again full time. But for now, I think it is more important to pace yourself so that you have the chance of recovery. 

How long have you been sick? So sorry if you already mentioned this. Karen

We are all individuals so every person is different. Is impossible to say how things will panic out for you which I think you realise. From my own experience, I had to take I'll health retirement from nursing aged 38 ys. That was 20 yrs ago. I was diagnosed with ME 21 yrs ago having been unwell for at least ten months. I was off sick for a year , then had to take the ill health retirement.I had carried on working 8 months whilst unwell. Then one day my body just gave up and I was on verge of collapse at work. I tried three times to go back but was futile . I have never improved. Intact my symptoms have exacerbated over the years. With new ones along the way. I have been housebound for years?

I do not intend to be negative, just saying it from my own point of view. I have written in other threads on here and felt I am being negative because others have said they have recovered or manage their symptoms well enough to have a normal life. Sorry but good for them. I am pleased for them. Unfortunately this disease , and it is a disease as classed by the WHO, hits everyone differently. Yes some people do get well enough to work and they maybe don't fully realise why some of us don't. I am very positive and push myself as far as I can. I even help others with their problems ! I am in constant pain , cognitive problems, food intolerances. It isn't just fatigue that is involved i have any issues as many of us do.

The main thing is to be kind to yourself . try not to expect too much from yourself. Pace between activity and rest. Sounds like you are already doing this. Supplements etc help some people , they have never done anything for me. Magnesium injections did a little for a shirt time. Vit d helps some people . again is doing nothing for me .I am currently on it for low vit d levels.

I do hope you find some improvement before too long. It really is how long is a piece of string! If you do feel you are ready to try work again at some point, the best approach would be slow and gradual. Never back into attempting fulltime at once. It would very likely just knock you down again. Sounds like you are not near any of that yet though.

Sorry if anyone thinks I am negative. I am certainly not. Just realistic. It broke my heart giving up my job. I was a successful senior nurse and my nursing was everything to me. I would never have given it up lightly .

Take care x

Hello Abby,

?I am working full time hours but achieve part-time work.  I am much slower doing the work due to the brain fog and energy it takes.  I can still continue doing the work I love as I am self-employed and work from home, except for meetings.  I spread the meetings out, making sure I don't have too many per week and I choose only jobs not too far away.

?I know no practice would employee me now and I wouldn't be able to take the stress there either.  Our Cfs is greatly worsened by stress. Therefore answering to bosses, travelling in rush-hour traffic and meeting deadlines will always 'hold back' our recovery if that stresses us.  Unfortunately being off on sick leave is still stressful as we are continually checking if we can go back yet, consequently putting a different deadline on ourselves.  

?My advice is to see if there is a way you could continue doing the job you love but in a less stressful way.  That might be changing to part-time, changing to a lower position, becoming self-employed, freelancing, or working for a different company who will provide a less stressful way for you to carry on working.  If you aren't working there will be different stressful elements ie, lack of money, boredom, continually monitoring your own health and then feeling depressed.  

Emotionally it is better for us to do what we love doing as that makes us happy (helping with the depression) and helps distract us from our ailments. If you love working try hard to find a way to carry on but consider the stress levels. If you're stressed all the time you will struggle to recover.

Good Luck

Juliex      

Hi everyone,

Just to say the nhs say that there are three levels of cfs/me:

Mild-still functional but get symptoms and often able to work

Moderate-less functional much more "ill" as it were after activity

Severe-not able to work often house/bedbound.

You can Google for better descriptions if helpful

I was told i was moderate to severe by the cfs/me service and can't do the job i love right now. I hope in the future that i can but,for me pushing yourself is counter productive. If you feel you are ok to go back, ask for a phased return. There are some on here i know have tried to return without success and others who have managed to go back. It really is a mixed bag.

Beverley