Help!! I am having feelings of depression and paranoia.

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I am in my second year of menopause, I am driving my husband crazy with my self doubts and

not trusting him. I can't seem to get out of this place!!

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  • Posted

    Hello, sorry you are feeling like this, I have found that going for a walk every morning all joining an exercise class once a week helped me from feeling low and help calm me. Julie x
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  • Posted

    I agree with Julie, walking really helps to put things in perspective, and gives your brain some space, if you can make the time.

    Saying that, I find myself very forgetful, not remembering recent conversations or what I went upstairs for. I also find myself agonising over decisions that I would have made in a heartbeat, and arguing for no reason with my partner, who tries to be patient but can lose it as I am so infuriating these days, I even annoy myself!

    Self doubt is a normal side effect, I think, as I used to have much more confidence, but I try positive thinking and finding reasons to be grateful work on the good days.

    Hope you manage to feel better soon, they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so cling on to that! You will get through it, tell your husband that too, as I guess he suffers as well!

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  • Posted

    Never, ever underestimate the power of hormones, and their effect on brain chemicals. So many women suffer dreadful anxiety, depression and strange thoughts and feelings during peri and meopause, but these are not 'well known' symptoms..everyone knows about the hot flashes, but few know about the debilitating anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I sadly know more than most about this, as my lovely sister committed suicide earlier this year after suffering from manic depression, probably brought about by hormonal changes in menopause. Everyone is familiar with post partum depression, and the 'baby blues'...so why are people surprised that menopause and the similar disruption in hormones can bring about terrible changes in the mind. Please, go and see your doctor and explain how you are feling. Especially if this has been going on for a while, there is nothing more debilitating than depression. perhaps a short course of AD's would help you. Don't suffer thinking it is normal, or it will pass quickly...we menopausal women can deal with the physical symptoms far easier than the mental ones...worry and depression are hell. You need to get back to being 'you'. Go see your GP.

    Good luck

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    • Posted

      Thank you for sharing what you learned from the tragic loss of your sister, confirming that these feelings and experiences are not to be accepted as part of who we are, and advising consulting a doctor.  It is too easy to assume that one size fits all and that because a brisk walk helps blow away the cobwebs for you then that's all anyone needs to do.  Others may be experiencing more serious mental health issues - and they may be fixable.  I wish I had taken my symptoms more seriously and made a bit more of a "fuss".

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  • Posted

    Hello Lisa,sorry your going through this,it's a miserable time for women ,at one time a lot of drs surgeries use to hold a Well Women clinic,mine use to and it was well attended ,nurses use to run them .again money put a stop to it.I believe us females get a green rub when it comes to women's problems.It was a clinic where other women could talk to other females with problem and thoughts like your having . It's not unheard of its normal hormones really do cause this havoc .Try and talk to female family members,if you've got older ones go and have a chat about it,over mug of tea.So don't put it off go do it.,also ask to be referred to the menopause clinic attached to your local hospital,all females mostly, Come back and let's know how you go on.Im sat here ,and having been feeling hot on and off all day.so another night throwing off the duvet .warm wishes xx
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  • Posted

    I would like to thank everyone for the sound advice! My husband has been a great support for me and has convinced me to see the doctor. I will follow thru with an appointment with the doctor and add a few martinis to the mix! I'm glad I'm not loosing my mind!!
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  • Posted

    IIm glad you've got a good GP that's a good start,write down all you've mentioned here sometimes it's best, as you get in there and easily miss something out ,done that myself , I write it out the night before,as I like most I suffer with this awful daily anxiety and muzzy head so write it down Lisa I'm really pleased you've got a supportive husband,mine to is a good one of 47 years ,he's even come into see my GP with me . Maybe take yours with you if possible,as it affects you both as a couple. Keep us posted how you get on X
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  • Posted

    Hi Lisa,

    I too am going through peri menopause and am having a terrible time with paranoid thoughts thinking my husband is on the phone to another women by text. I am so on edge, I dread his phone bleeping, I think he does too, have told him how I feel, he thinks this has nothing to do with fluctuating hormones, and I have mental health issues!!!!

    The paranoid thoughts follow anxiety, elevated heart rate, chest pain at times and a feeling of dread. I have always been able to curb my emotions, have tried a low dose HRT, which works for one week out of the month. I have 2 weeks out of the month where I feel completely tired out, bone pains, lack concentration and feel moody one minute and weepy the next!!!!

    My partners getting to the point, he's had enough, worry and panic even more this will split us up. I have no idea where the tetx book hot flushes, low sex drive come in, have been totally opposite to this.

    Just want other women to know please see your GP if you feel like this, you are not going mad!!! Hormone levels fluctuate, be kind to yourself!!! I am trying to spend some time away from my partner so he gets a break from the mood swings for a few days, and to look after and pamper myself,this always helps. Men do not understand, I really feel for them!!!!

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  • Posted

    Hi lisa. I know this post is over a year old but was wondering how you were doing. I'm not doing so well today...unfortunately.

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    • Posted

      Hi Valerie I only discovered this forum today and have found comfort that I am not alone with these horrible symptoms of self doubt and paranoia. I am feeling not good today either and know how you are feeling. Reading through the threads has given me courage to seek help from the doctor - I am so tired of trying to fight this by myself and my relationship with my boyfriend is in serious jeopardy. I have accused him of being unfaithful and still feel I am not good enough for him - my self esteem is non existent - he thinks I'm mentally unstable. This has been getting worse since my menopause started a year ago - it's something I have to get help for I see that now. I had been resisting thinking I could pull myself together but recognise that won't happen without medical help. I urge you to do the same if you haven't already, we don't have to feel alone - best wishes 

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  • Posted

    Hello,

    I am going threw the same thing. I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago and since then my life has gone down hill. I am driving my boyfriend to the point where he is ready to send me and my daughter packing. I need help before it gets worse. I blame myself for everything and I know its the menopause. sad

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  • Posted

    Hi I'm sorry your feeling so bad, up until 7 nights ago I felt like I was going insane, i even left my family to spend the night in a hotel because I was convinced my husband did not care about me, that I was just never good enough, I have also upset my very good friend by being cruel and mean about her wonderful family, I've had paranoid thoughts about my own family members, I've had spiteful hateful thoughts, but none of this is who I am, I've felt so low at one point that I had a fleeting thought of ending it all, but for my youngest child I would not. None of this is me . I'm not this person, I have silly thoughts like everyone but not this. Since finding this site and reading everyone's stories it's helped me so very much , I never knew how debilitating some of the symptoms can become. I never knew the menopause could change your personality, but because of this thread I have made an appointment to see my GP, I have showed this site to my husband , I have started to write everything down and I have joined a yoga class ( try anything) I already feel just having these things in place helping a little, but I now have to share with my loved ones what's going on with me . Lisa try and talk to your husband and let him read some of the stories on here , to help him understand a little of what's going on , take care and speak to your GP x

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    • Posted

      What you wrote is very close to home for me. My mood swings actually started to scare me. I had moments when I thought I was losing my mind and having a mother who suffered from bio polar and psycotic episodes ( she has passed now) I wonder how much her hormones played in this. I had incredible feelings if anger then depression and thought for a while my partner hated me. I wanted to be alone all the time and would go to the bathroom so he wouldn't see me cry. I would feel the anger start and try so hard to control it sometimes without success. Iv been on bio identical hormones for 7 weeks now and for the last week I feel almost normal. Only time will tell if the worst is over, I do feel as though I'm coming out the other side of it now. My bios have been adjusted slightly a few days ago after my blood results and I'll have more bloods done in 12 weeks time. It can take a bit to get all the hormones balanced properly but I completely trust my doctor. He is quite amazing. Hope this helps you.

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    • Posted

      I'm glad your feeling a little more like you, I'm optimistic about this now, I can truly see this is def hormonal my personality, thoughts , physical being is all off key. I hope your partner understands more now? I wish this side of the menopause was more openly discussed as I had no idea what was going on with with me, I had no idea it could get this bad, I hope more women become more open about how bad this can get. Good luck to you 🙂

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