Help? What to do next?
Posted , 6 users are following.
So I haven't been on here for about a year. If you want you can click on my profile and see my recent posts to check my story so far.
Anyway I finally plucked up the courage after being single for 3 years to open up to someone and let them into my life and tell them about my anxiety. It's hard as only my parents know, never even told my close friends about it as I feel like it's a weakness and don't want anyone to use it against me or feel sorry for me.
So I was seeing her for about a month and everything was going fine until the other day when she suddenly said she's not interested anymore. It's confusing and heartbreaking! I finally open up to someone and let them get to know me but it just feels like I've been sh*t on. Now all those strong feelings of anxiety have came back and it's hard to see how I'm going to get over her and potentially go through the same situation in the future and open up to someone else! 
0 likes, 28 replies
lisalisa67 phil1990
Posted
I wouldnt suggest emptying your baggage in a new relationship going forward. One month is nothing. I mean teeny tiny amount of time. Try at least six months to even form a any sort of bond. You sound very young.
keep on doing you and keep on dating. And tell your ego to toughen up. You havent been treated poorly at all..your expectations were too intense.no one has to date you, it is a desire and if it isnt mutual thats okay too..you move on.
Stop viewing an anxiety disorder as aweakness. It is a disorder. You did not ask for it, you dint enjoy it and no ine wants it. It is what it is. Nit a weakness. Requires a ton of courage and stregnth to exist with this disorder. So weak you are NOT!
lisalisa67
Posted
phil1990 lisalisa67
Posted
Way to make someone feel good about themselves! Ha. I never said she had to date me. But when someone tells you the day before that they really like you and she was the one that initiated wanting to meet me a few times a week to go and just randomly say they are not interested doesn't make sense! Anyway thanks for your opinion
lisalisa67 phil1990
Posted
Of course i realize you feel horrible. Felt vulnerable and that was the last thing you wanted as a response from a girl you thought was going to stay with you. But only ones with this disorder understand it. Otherwise after one month it will scare away most people. Thats all im saying.
helen20833 lisalisa67
Posted
Wow, Lisa
No good deed goes unpunished!
He's angry and his anger may well be justified. But striking out at someone, such as yourself, who is trying to help, isn't going to make him feel better
It's sad
dee53012 lisalisa67
Posted
lisalisa67 dee53012
Posted
dalene63026 lisalisa67
Posted
I also want to say you don't have to have anxiety to understand it my husband has no anxiety nor has he ever experienced it but because I have been open and honest with him about how I feel and all of my research he gets it!! He knows how to be my rock and how to not add to it because I tell him how!! We have been happily married for 16 years!! I have had anxiety off and on for 13 of those years!
dee53012 phil1990
Posted
Hi Phil,
I am sorry you are in pain. It is not about you though, it is about her inability to open and be volnerable. YOU however showed volnerability and that my dear is awesome! Keep feeling your feelings and work them though, time will heal, I promise. There are many people who cannot be in touch with their feelings, it scares them. Don't be afriad to share, but test them with little things first. See if they are capable of intimacy.
I started going to things like meditaion groups and those folks know how to be there in the moment.
You are an awesome person. Always remember that! Put a lovely smile on your face, stand up strait and go make more friends! Surround yourself with beautiful people!
I am 57 and been single for 6 years, being with someone special takes time.
phil1990 dee53012
Posted
borderriever phil1990
Posted
Somtimes it can be unadvisable to wear your heart on your sleeve to early on in a relationship, we need to wait and let the relationship mature like a good wine or in my case a good single malt whiskey.with associated strong Ale lol.
We all when depressed or suffer Anxiety become very conscience of our weaknessess, we would love to tell all who we meet we have problems, we are trusting and that can lead to negative behaviour of those who we look on as friends. It is sad, although natural that people we mix with can not see the good in our eyes they see the weakness they feel sufferes of Depression and Anxiety must have and are of week caracter,
You have now picked up on the negative fears people can have and understand to be a little bit more reserved with those who we bump into through life.
It is a shame to you have lost someone who you cared for, it is a blessing in a strange way that you discovered Her Weakness before the relationship proceeded to a different level. Believe me when I say you will find someone who will take you on, warts and all
Good Luck
phil1990 borderriever
Posted
Thanks for the kind words. I had to say something about the anxiety from the start because it's impossible for me to meet someone new without freaking out so letting them know that I might have panic attacks etc is the only way. Anyway I appreciate the advice so thank you
borderriever phil1990
Posted
Be kind to yourself and take life a little less serious as far as anxiety is concerned. you will find that person who will understand you
lisalisa67 borderriever
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borderriever lisalisa67
Posted
BOB