Help? What to do next?
Posted , 6 users are following.
So I haven't been on here for about a year. If you want you can click on my profile and see my recent posts to check my story so far.
Anyway I finally plucked up the courage after being single for 3 years to open up to someone and let them into my life and tell them about my anxiety. It's hard as only my parents know, never even told my close friends about it as I feel like it's a weakness and don't want anyone to use it against me or feel sorry for me.
So I was seeing her for about a month and everything was going fine until the other day when she suddenly said she's not interested anymore. It's confusing and heartbreaking! I finally open up to someone and let them get to know me but it just feels like I've been sh*t on. Now all those strong feelings of anxiety have came back and it's hard to see how I'm going to get over her and potentially go through the same situation in the future and open up to someone else! 
0 likes, 28 replies
dalene63026 phil1990
Posted
Honestly I think you did the right thing by being honest about your anxiety! The last thing you want to do is wait 6 months to be invested in a relationship and have it not workout because they can't deal with it! Better to tell them upfront! You want a partner who is a rock someone who can handle your fears and be supportive and comforting!! When you find the right person they are going to love you know matter what!!!! Hang in there!
dee53012 dalene63026
Posted
dalene63026 dee53012
Posted
Thanks!!! I only know from having such an amazing husband!! Loves me even when I am going crazy! 😊
dee53012 dalene63026
Posted
EXACTLY! If the person doesn't have compassion and empathy from the beginning, they won't have it until they have had some trials of their own. KARMA. That person is not bad, they just have some maturing to do.
It does not mean we have to tell them the first day, but why the hell not!
dalene63026 dee53012
Posted
phil1990
Posted
Well today is a new day so I'm just trying to remain positive! It's just hard with anxiety knowing you constantly have to open up all the time to people. It's fine for some that won't mention anything for a while but with me it's not as easy as some days I just physically can't go out so it gets hard having to make up excuses all the time
dee53012 phil1990
Posted
Be yourself, then love and life will follow. It is when we try to please other's that we lose ourselves.
phil76209 phil1990
Posted
Hi Phil,
You took a risk in opening up to this girl, a risk I'm glad u took. Even though you suffer from anxiety you should be living life too which you did. You decided you liked this girl enough to be honest with her which is a good risk even though it didn't work out.
I'm not sure she appreciated the risk you took. Even though you may feel worse than you did before try to see the positive in this.
Was she right for you anyway?
I have not too long ago been in a relationship and my anxiety and paranoia and insecurities affected it for the worse, but I'm starting to look ahead and make sure I learn from it so I can better recognise my negative behaviours and look for someone I had more in common with. I realise also that she probably wasn't right for me as much as I really liked her.
Phil
kirsty53010 phil76209
Posted
Well obviously she isn't good enough for you there's plenty of more fish in the sea Phil just have to look and the right girl will come along,,,it's hard to find someone who you can really open up to about your anxiety cos you don't want them to think your weird or strange but the righ girl won't she will understand and help that's the sort of female you need...I kno you will feel sh*tty about the whole thing but just remember it's her loss you was a decent man who opened up to her that takes guts so be proud of yourself don't let it get you down and don't let it stop you from opening up to another person you meet us females arnt all the same you kno 😉
phil1990 phil76209
Posted
Thanks mate. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that's going through it. It's just hard. I can understand why people wouldn't want the extra baggage of being with someone that has anxiety but I would of preferred her to say it from the start rather than giving me hope!
phil1990 kirsty53010
Posted
Thanks for that 😊 it's just annoying when you think you've found someone and they turn out to be not the person you thought they are!
kirsty53010 phil1990
Posted
Yeah a lot of people are like that in afraid it's horrible but it's better to find out now than another year down the line
phil1990 kirsty53010
Posted
Yeah that's true but it still hurts and stings a little haha