here a new one
Posted , 15 users are following.
yesterday i was having a slight argument with hubby and i said something like we used to be able to talk things out but now a days all we seem to argue and he turns to me and says- when its your fault because going you are going through this menopause stuff ( he did use another word) and that is what the real problem is!! i was so taken back i know things have changed and i cannot control somethings but how awful to say that when he knows how hard it is fro me somedays just to get out of bed!! the pains in my knees the weight gain the periods that come when ever they want and still i try my best to run this house and keep everyone happy!! I just dont know what to say to this or how to feel- now i truly feel like a real loser!!! thanks so much for letting me vent but i have to say still feeling very down about myself!!!!
1 like, 32 replies
sharcerv52408 kathy8894
Posted
My husband rolls his eyes when I start talking about how I'm feeling. If i say that I don't feel well. He'll say i hope you are not going to the ER again to sit there all day for them to tell you nothing is wrong. Its your hormones, it's always your hormones. That's what i get from mine. If we didn't have kids i probably would have left him by now.
kathy8894 sharcerv52408
Posted
jennifer01077 kathy8894
Posted
I am so sorry.
I have zero advice for you. I am single, and don't have to take care of anyone but myself.
Well, I am a teacher, so I do have to deal with students all days, and that has led me to deal aggressively with my symptoms. So my only advice is: take care of yourself.
I just wanted to offer you some sympathy because you are feeling so down. Big hugs, dear.
kathy8894 jennifer01077
Posted
Snatchpiece kathy8894
Posted
Please dont think you are a looser because you are not and it is mens lack of knowledge and understanding of what we can experience during this time of our lives that sometimes put them on defence mode!! Women are truly the stronger ones who like you say keeping the house up together etc. Sometimes these men of ours just get frustrated with themselves for perhaps not knowing or understanding what to do to help us so the first thing they sometimes fire back is to blame us for everything that goes wrong.
Your low esteem could well be to do with your hormones which sadly we do not have any real control over as they can change so quickly.
Go and book yourself a lovely relaxing massage and take some "me" time out and keep reminding yourself you are a fantastic wife and mother.
It does get better and over the last few weeks i have booked myself into slimming world to see if this will help me to loose some weight (i am taking HRT). I am so surprised that my first week I have lost three pound and by doing this i am feeling really motivated and feel much more positive about things so my low esteem has improved.
Massive hugs coming your way Kathy and "Please remember you are not a Looser" - dont let your husband make you feel this way" Joy xxx
kathy8894 Snatchpiece
Posted
nancy0925 kathy8894
Posted
kathy8894 nancy0925
Posted
sharcerv52408 nancy0925
Posted
annieschaefer kathy8894
Posted
This is such a rough time for all of us, including them. I am in no way excusing his words at all but we know how frustrated we are and we come here to support each other. If I have ever learned anything in 56 years, its that the majority of men-while honestly do care about us, don't know how to first not freak out (truly, I believe they get scared watching us go through this a bit) and second, be supportive of us during this unstable time.
I know for me, some days it really scares me as I don't feel remotely feel like my old self. I imagine my husband worries will he ever see the person he fell in love with again. I worry, so must he, but overall he's been pretty decent about this.
But Kathy, there are days he's probably had issues of his own and when I start up, he can be a bit cranky himself and say things that may not be the nicest. It's during these times, I go through the whole range of emotions of wishing I were single, start "plotting" my future divorce, wishing he would find a girlfriend and etc. Those pass for me as generally we can diffuse the ugly moments, may take some time, but eventually, we do.
I understand why a lot of marriages fail at this point, this is a very trying time. I usually end up laughing at myself and many times him and while some words can't be taken back, I forget what wrong I think he may have said and move on. Overall, I love him and he surely must love me or else I am sure he would have left at first signs of this crazyville we have entered.
You come here and you vent, please. Also know you are not a loser(gosh is that ever a common feeling during this time...we gain weight, our bodies ache, we lose control over our emotions....temporarily we feel that way, but so not true) you are a very strong and caring person who does her best to keep everyone happy and make a nice home for them. They may not show it, but I am sure it's appreciated but honestly it's hard for others not going through what we are, to understand all this.
Sending you big hugs as I understand and this will pass, just not quick enough for our liking.
Take good care!
Annie Xxxx
kathy8894 annieschaefer
Posted
margaret04348 kathy8894
Posted
kathy8894 margaret04348
Posted
jennifer01077 margaret04348
Posted
I know what you mean about avoiding your friends so you won't drive them away. I have a strict policy about staying by myself during my pms and period time, because I don't want them to suffer through my bad mood, and be alienated by it.
There are different medications and natural remedies for anxiety, and I would try them out if I were you. Maybe you have, I don't know. Well, I hope the hrt works, and I do recommend meditation, but I am not sure it will make a dent in a really big anxiety issue. You seem like you have a really good attitude and awareness anyway. Bless you and I hope the hrt works.
lisa215 kathy8894
Posted
Us and you my love, on the other hand, get yourself up and do what needs to be done.
You are not a loser by any stretch of the imagination, you are a strong, capable woman and you should applaud yourself for that and if he cant see that then sod him!
kathy8894 lisa215
Posted