Here I am once again feeling like death is lurking. What a terrible topic!! Appreciate feedback !

Oh honey I totally relate to pushing yourself to do something ordinary, like getting the freaking mail!! My husband just had shoulder replacement surgery two days ago so I am trying my best to care for him. Poor guy is in pain and has to listen to this crazy, crying, sobbing woman throughout the day. He doesn't complain at all about the pain he is in. But he totally understands how I do because I have been miserable for so, so long. This time next week his pain will be half of what it is today. This time next week for me will continue to be hell. It's not fair. I am so sorry you are going through this. We don't deserve it. Your words help me hon. Because you really know how I feel. Thank you.

I'm often cold.  Take many supplements and get this.... I'm on day 14 of my period!!   This is a pain because I can't plan anything!!    I think this is normal but I'm just used to it being done by day 4 or 5.

I hear ya Kelly. Thank goodness for Amazon! Lol

Hi Kelly :-) I am post menopausal. I had a uterine hysterectomy in 2002. I was put on antidepressants in 1996 and finally got off of them Jan 2016. I believe most of my perimenopausal symptoms were masked due to the antidepressants. I had no idea about perimenopause and looking back I can see that the emotional instability that I suffered all of those years, contributed to divorce and subsequent separation from my own 4 children. 2 of them remain estranged even today. Hormonal imbalance is entirely overlooked and labeled mental illness instead. I am moving toward BHRT with a gyn but due to health anxiety I am nervous about the "C" risks. It's strange how us gals are so articulate on this forum and seem so balanced in our writing yet if you could see me you would not see a balanced, well functioning woman. My heart goes out to all of you. Sincerely.

Hi Julie. (Hugs). I think the reason it's taking a long time, at least in part, is due to my health anxiety and not trusting doctors. My GP prescribed an antidepressant a couple of months ago, which I won't take because I really want to get to the bottom of what is causing my symptoms. In two years she never even mentioned checking my hormone levels. I decided on my own to order a home test kit. It revealed that I am very imbalanced. She keeps pushing the "anxiety and depression" diagnosis down my throat and throws it in my face that I am resisting her help. I just had my first appointment with the gyn a couple of days ago. Unfortunately it's a male gyn who finds this stuff (women's hormones) "fascinating", yes he actually said that to me. I feel like I am dying and he finds it fascinating. ( I know he didn't mean that, but still, don't say words like fascinating in the presence of a patient who is suffering, ya dumbass). I have this inner tension and I search all over the internet trying to find someone else who has this, what it is, what's causing it, how to stop it. In the evening my hearing becomes extra sensitive and my eyes become sensitive to light. I can only sleep by taking Restoril. I dunno. Really wish I could just go natural but I'm just too messed up anymore.

Hello I’m Aimee and I also had male doctor that didn’t believed my symptoms were stress and anxiety related I beg him for at least to check me and he said no that I had to be on 12 months without period and then he will check . Last month I had a female doctor and she saw ALL MY LABS and she said these doctors check you for pretty much everything and she actually check me and all my hormones were fine except the prolactin hormone and she retake it again and came back normal . It is frustrating when you tell these medical professionals about your symptoms and they dissmised it. I can remember I have these pain on my left side of my stomach in between waist and ovaries and they look at me because the pain was so bad and they like oh you have ansiety and stress , constipation, you name it . I was going crazy these last PA I plead to help me she was my last resort before I went crazy.  But I still believed I’m perimenopause these ladies in this forum had put me at ease. And now I’m having hard time sleeping and when I do i have this awful dreams and can’t sleep so  last night I took Ativan and I sleep very good  but headaches neck and shoulder pain sets in this is crazy how all these pain shift and comes and goes.  Hugs and we are for each other. Best of luck and I will keep post in my journey

Hi hon. I can`t say oh I'm so glad to hear someone else feels as though they're dying. I am moved by your endurance through this absolutely difficult and lengthy chapter of your life. It is comforting in a strange way to see that other women describe it as I do. It's scary for me to not really know for certain what is wrong with me. We're attributing my symptoms to postmenopause but I really do not know if I am suffering from something else. My digestive system is messed up. I get hot AND cold simultaneously, or separately. Rashes. Crashing fatigue, insomnia. What kind of life is this? I can't even participate. I'm an artist and because I am so tired I can't even create anything. Gosh, sorry for venting. I am just dumping on everyone. I appreciate your perspective about 6 years and still here. I will remind myself of that. You've gotta be reaching a turning point here pretty soon I would think. You're brave hon. Sending hugs.

Thank you Leslie,

With regard to the hot and cold, insomnia digestive issues and fatigue - yes I have all that too. My digestive issues wax and wane but never go away altogether. Im always tired and seem to have poor quality of sleep as I have very vivid and intense dreams and nightmares. I dont want to be brave, I want to be me again! Believe me I am oftenn in tears as I feel so crap. What can we women do? We all have families, jobs, commitments etc. We have to soldier on and often we do it quietly. I never tell my partner how I feel as theres no point. I would bore him to death.

Sending lots of good wishes love and hugs your way. We can do this! We have to! X

I am actually receiving disability compensation because of my health issues. I am unemployable. I am gradually diminishing. I know I am. I had no idea this was in store for me at this age. How could I? What's most difficult is the stark contrast between my abilities prior compared to now. I never lived in fear. I was highly capable. Creative and excited about engaging in many different endeavors. Even taking nature walks at the waters edge or in the woods was once a wonderous experience. It's like I can't access that part of myself any longer. The malaise dominates. Maybe because for the first 50 years of my life I was relatively pain free and life is evening things out a bit? I don't know. Being philosophical about the state I am in just adds to all the uncertainty. I need to switch channels in my attitude in this forum as I am only adding negativity. Sarah, I am proud of you. Impressed by your strength and endurance. Your selflessness to not "burden" your partner with your woes. I am too much of a big baby. I complain to my hubby several times a day. He actually wouldn't have it any other way. He sees himself as my champion, my caretaker and he is truly my best friend. You should see us right now: Both of us laid up on our couch. He is recovering from shoulder replacement surgery so he's off work for the next several weeks. Both in our robes and sharing meals here in the living room, our new bedroom! Anyway, enough blathering out of me. I just really appreciate sharing thoughts with you gals. Please, feel free any time to vent on me. I am here for any support and encouragement. Gentle hugs to you dear.

 Hi Jackie,, I had some kind of Anxeity attack on me in bed can't explain it but I know it was hormones how awful but I let do what it like and I'm still here thank god.

Hi Jackie. Did you know that hrt would help that feeling? Im not taking anything but if hrt helps with health anxiety, i may consider it.

Hi I didn't know that hrt would definitely help but I knew that the feeling of being terrified was due to my menopause and having no hormones. So I kind of assumed that putting hormones back would stop it or at least make it a bit better. My GP agreed that hrt would probably help. I haven't had it again thank goodness so I think the hrt is helping. Anxiety is absolutely horrible ,I hope you find something that helps you.

Thank you jackie

Gosh I am so so sorry Jackie :-( It's difficult to hear about what we go through and not be able to physically be there to comfort or just support you through it. The mom in me comes out heavy and I just want to take all the suffering away. I don't know if you've ever tried guided relaxation meditation? I always judged that stuff as a bit too "new agey" for me but I had to get proactive in calming down. There's a website called Fragrantheart.com that has free guided meditations on it for all kinds of issues. Elizabeth Blakie produces each one and her voice is very calming. I believe she is either Aussie or New Zealander. I am an American so her accent is soothing to me. I fall asleep to her Deep Relaxation Meditation every night, (along with a dose of Restoril). I realize hormonal issues are not a mind over matter situation, but exercising calmness is an important practice for us. You're in my prayers hon.

Thank you xand I'll look in to that