Here I am once again feeling like death is lurking. What a terrible topic!! Appreciate feedback !

Posted , 13 users are following.

My gawd how can hormones do this?? I am walking such a precarious line. I am on track for getting onto BHRT but damn it it's taking too long!! If the doctor was in this much agony I guaran damn tee it they would get help STAT!! It's scary to be this ill for this long. 2 years now!! I am absolutely homebound. I want so badly to just crawl right out of my skin. I hate this feeling. I have the most intense inner tension and body aches, crying throughout the day and night, hot AND cold simultaneously!! Totally exhausted. I have another post just like this one from 2 weeks ago. Every day is Groundhog Day (the movie) for me. Super pity party. I sometimes wonder if my fear of death is causing me to be so incredibly sick that I actually welcome it. Gimme the damn BHRT before somebody gets hurt!!

3 likes, 37 replies

Report / Delete

37 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    Take a deep breath hon... i feel same way I force myself to go with the husband to do groceries today and BAM nauseas set in and i was like I felt sick and my chest felt being slightly tight. I took a deep breath I’m ok . But aloways uneasy . We are in this together .  I’m exhausted all the time .  This website is the best . 
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Oh honey I totally relate to pushing yourself to do something ordinary, like getting the freaking mail!! My husband just had shoulder replacement surgery two days ago so I am trying my best to care for him. Poor guy is in pain and has to listen to this crazy, crying, sobbing woman throughout the day. He doesn't complain at all about the pain he is in. But he totally understands how I do because I have been miserable for so, so long. This time next week his pain will be half of what it is today. This time next week for me will continue to be hell. It's not fair. I am so sorry you are going through this. We don't deserve it. Your words help me hon. Because you really know how I feel. Thank you.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I'm exhausted all the time too..  I nap when I can but then kids/spouse come in and ask why I'm laying in bed.  It's very annoying!!   I do get out shopping for what I need but would much rather stay home.  I try to eat well and exercise when I can.  

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I'm often cold.  Take many supplements and get this.... I'm on day 14 of my period!!   This is a pain because I can't plan anything!!    I think this is normal but I'm just used to it being done by day 4 or 5.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Kelly :-) I am post menopausal. I had a uterine hysterectomy in 2002. I was put on antidepressants in 1996 and finally got off of them Jan 2016. I believe most of my perimenopausal symptoms were masked due to the antidepressants. I had no idea about perimenopause and looking back I can see that the emotional instability that I suffered all of those years, contributed to divorce and subsequent separation from my own 4 children. 2 of them remain estranged even today. Hormonal imbalance is entirely overlooked and labeled mental illness instead. I am moving toward BHRT with a gyn but due to health anxiety I am nervous about the "C" risks. It's strange how us gals are so articulate on this forum and seem so balanced in our writing yet if you could see me you would not see a balanced, well functioning woman. My heart goes out to all of you. Sincerely.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I know right! I think doctors who deal with menopausal patients really need to have gone through the menopause! Otherwise they can be clueless about how bad it can be and how badly it can upturn your life. Im on anti anxiety meds but im sure if a doctor had taken me seriously all the many times i went in about chronic indigestion, palpitations, increasing anxiety etc, i couldve gone on hrt and avoided ending up with anxiety disorder and put on antidepressants! Feeling lots better after a year on meds but id rather have tried hrt first! Why is it taking so long for you?
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Julie. (Hugs). I think the reason it's taking a long time, at least in part, is due to my health anxiety and not trusting doctors. My GP prescribed an antidepressant a couple of months ago, which I won't take because I really want to get to the bottom of what is causing my symptoms. In two years she never even mentioned checking my hormone levels. I decided on my own to order a home test kit. It revealed that I am very imbalanced. She keeps pushing the "anxiety and depression" diagnosis down my throat and throws it in my face that I am resisting her help. I just had my first appointment with the gyn a couple of days ago. Unfortunately it's a male gyn who finds this stuff (women's hormones) "fascinating", yes he actually said that to me. I feel like I am dying and he finds it fascinating. ( I know he didn't mean that, but still, don't say words like fascinating in the presence of a patient who is suffering, ya dumbass). I have this inner tension and I search all over the internet trying to find someone else who has this, what it is, what's causing it, how to stop it. In the evening my hearing becomes extra sensitive and my eyes become sensitive to light. I can only sleep by taking Restoril. I dunno. Really wish I could just go natural but I'm just too messed up anymore.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hello I’m Aimee and I also had male doctor that didn’t believed my symptoms were stress and anxiety related I beg him for at least to check me and he said no that I had to be on 12 months without period and then he will check . Last month I had a female doctor and she saw ALL MY LABS and she said these doctors check you for pretty much everything and she actually check me and all my hormones were fine except the prolactin hormone and she retake it again and came back normal . It is frustrating when you tell these medical professionals about your symptoms and they dissmised it. I can remember I have these pain on my left side of my stomach in between waist and ovaries and they look at me because the pain was so bad and they like oh you have ansiety and stress , constipation, you name it . I was going crazy these last PA I plead to help me she was my last resort before I went crazy.  But I still believed I’m perimenopause these ladies in this forum had put me at ease. And now I’m having hard time sleeping and when I do i have this awful dreams and can’t sleep so  last night I took Ativan and I sleep very good  but headaches neck and shoulder pain sets in this is crazy how all these pain shift and comes and goes.  Hugs and we are for each other. Best of luck and I will keep post in my journey
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Leslie

    The 'death is lurking' feeling, yes thats one I have most days. I have been in peri for 6 years now. Ive told myself that because I have felt like this for 6 years and not died then I can only attribute everything to perimenopause. HRT is not for me so Ive just got to tough it out. My heart goes out to you as I know exactly how you feel x

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi hon. I can`t say oh I'm so glad to hear someone else feels as though they're dying. I am moved by your endurance through this absolutely difficult and lengthy chapter of your life. It is comforting in a strange way to see that other women describe it as I do. It's scary for me to not really know for certain what is wrong with me. We're attributing my symptoms to postmenopause but I really do not know if I am suffering from something else. My digestive system is messed up. I get hot AND cold simultaneously, or separately. Rashes. Crashing fatigue, insomnia. What kind of life is this? I can't even participate. I'm an artist and because I am so tired I can't even create anything. Gosh, sorry for venting. I am just dumping on everyone. I appreciate your perspective about 6 years and still here. I will remind myself of that. You've gotta be reaching a turning point here pretty soon I would think. You're brave hon. Sending hugs.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thank you Leslie,

      With regard to the hot and cold, insomnia digestive issues and fatigue - yes I have all that too. My digestive issues wax and wane but never go away altogether. Im always tired and seem to have poor quality of sleep as I have very vivid and intense dreams and nightmares. I dont want to be brave, I want to be me again! Believe me I am oftenn in tears as I feel so crap. What can we women do? We all have families, jobs, commitments etc. We have to soldier on and often we do it quietly. I never tell my partner how I feel as theres no point. I would bore him to death.

      Sending lots of good wishes love and hugs your way. We can do this! We have to! X

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I am actually receiving disability compensation because of my health issues. I am unemployable. I am gradually diminishing. I know I am. I had no idea this was in store for me at this age. How could I? What's most difficult is the stark contrast between my abilities prior compared to now. I never lived in fear. I was highly capable. Creative and excited about engaging in many different endeavors. Even taking nature walks at the waters edge or in the woods was once a wonderous experience. It's like I can't access that part of myself any longer. The malaise dominates. Maybe because for the first 50 years of my life I was relatively pain free and life is evening things out a bit? I don't know. Being philosophical about the state I am in just adds to all the uncertainty. I need to switch channels in my attitude in this forum as I am only adding negativity. Sarah, I am proud of you. Impressed by your strength and endurance. Your selflessness to not "burden" your partner with your woes. I am too much of a big baby. I complain to my hubby several times a day. He actually wouldn't have it any other way. He sees himself as my champion, my caretaker and he is truly my best friend. You should see us right now: Both of us laid up on our couch. He is recovering from shoulder replacement surgery so he's off work for the next several weeks. Both in our robes and sharing meals here in the living room, our new bedroom! Anyway, enough blathering out of me. I just really appreciate sharing thoughts with you gals. Please, feel free any time to vent on me. I am here for any support and encouragement. Gentle hugs to you dear.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Sarah, I don't know if you're familiar with Dr. Berg on YouTube, but he is a chiropractor/naturopath and he says nightmares and intense dreaming can be caused by vitamin B1 deficiency. Seems the range of B vitamins is instrumental in calming the nervous system among other functions. I think B1 is Thiamine? I could have that wrong. Anyway, I want to see where my B vitamin levels are so going to have to see my GP again for that. I can not stand her. She is a spoiled child who works in her father's private practice and just pushes pills. I am trying to switch to a different GP but with "Obamacare" now the law, EVERYBODY is forced to buy health insurance so doctors are way overwhelmed with far too many new patients. It's a main reason we voted for Trump. Next to impossible to find one who is taking new patients. Anyway, the B vitamin thing is something you may want to look into if you're at all curious. It's rough enough to get a halfway decent sleep and nightmares on top of that is just utterly cruel. My heart goes out to you sweetie.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thats really interesting Leslie...I may just take a supplement for B vitamins rather than visit my GP who, despite being a woman, treated me like a mental health patient and prescribed Prozac (which I never took) !

      She made me feel like a complete hyperchondriac and so Im not goi g there again. Its hard to find a sympathetic doctor let alone get an appointment. Im in England and our tiny island is overful and cannot cope with all the people now living here.

      So better to just quietly 'get on with it' although I will definitely try the B vits. so thank you for the advice. I have literally woken up screaming or crying from yet another awful dream so I will try anything. I really hope you and your husband (who sounds wonderful) feel well again. Its great that he is so supportive. My poor German Shepherd dog is the one who puts up with my moping and anxiety. He is good for me as he forces me to get fresh air everyday.

      Thanks for your kind words xx

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I've looked into this B vitamin thing myself and apparently the best way to incorporate it is by using nutritional yeast. Pill vitamins are made with filler that your liver has to filter out, so nutritional yeast is just straight B vitamins, including the B1. You just use a teaspoon a day mixed into whatever you like, or even stirred in a glass of water. Easy peasy.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      My daughter was bed ridden for 3 years due to corticosteroid withdrawal. She went through a time where she was having nightmares every time she slept. Finally tests revealed she was super deficient in B vitamins due to having the MTFR gene mutation that hinders metabolism of B vitamins. What we go through is minimal compared to people who are adversely affected by steroid cream. Topical Steroid Withdrawal is just too much. Too much. I was her caretaker through those most difficult years and the stress of it put me over the edge. Certainly has contributed to my current failing health. It's another reason why I can not trust allopathic doctors because they kept prescribing steroid creams to her for eczema when it was the steroids themselves that were making her ill. So we had no medical support whatsoever. The TSW Facebook support group was our Godsend. She is better this year. Actually employed and in the process of adopting a child. She is allergic to her husband's fluids because of the damage from the steroids to her immune system so they are adopting. We've just been through a little bit too much over here. I hope so much that you will be set free of these nightmares when you begin trying the B vitamins. Dr. Berg says the deficiency absolutely causes chronic nightmares.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I was told I had the MTHFR factor as well, doc prescribed l-methylfolate calcium 7.5 mg, which I think is B6. Does your daughter do nutritional yeast or take vitamins? 

      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up