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Here we go again...

Posted , 9 users are following.

Sober_As
Sober_As

Oh well... it was only a matter of time.  Hello my lovely friends, I am still an "elbow hole" !  Freaking lost it, after 14 days.  Sick, sick, sick.  All wined out.  'Wish I was dead... same old, same old, same old.  

1 like, 62 replies

62 Replies

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  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy Sober_As

    Posted

    Me too Angel, me too, though me has been 5 days. I will reply to my suicidal post later and thank everyone who took the trouble to try and help. I've well and truely fxxxx up now where naltrexone is concerned. But hope you can get back on track again with it. Still in pain, still destroyed. My dr won't give me diazepam and didn't follow through with the help I begged for yesterday. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this at the mo. I still wish I was dead but realise that is not fair on my 3 children or my parents. Some how I have to find some sort of strength xx
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree Paper_fairy

      Posted

      You can go with the Naltrexone in the meantime, Paper. It will help you reduce while you look for other avenues. 

      I'm sorry you lost your love, but the pain will pass. If you were both drinking when you met, this breakup might be a blessing in disguise.

    • Paper_fairy
      Paper_fairy ADEfree

      Posted

      Thanks for reply ADE. I met my ex in AA. He is over 20 years sober, think 23 years now, AA is the only way as far as he believes. He says I'm a drug addict because I take antidepressants. He is very black or white, no in between. I've resorted to phenebut tonight( as can't get diazepam). Not good but better than nothing xx
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree Paper_fairy

      Posted

      It seems to me I heard warnings over forging those types of relationships in recovery programs. I think it's partially because it's a distraction from the work one needs to do on oneself and (seems to me anyway) neither knows quite what they're bringing to the table in the relationship, as the whole person is not yet present.
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree Paper_fairy

      Posted

      Works that way for depressive personalities that seek out a manic to "balance things out" too. Got that t-shirt, I'm here to tell ya....

      I've been reading a book called “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Melissa Gilbert, it was recommended by a friend. One quote from a favorite poet of hers:

      “We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,

      but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have

      the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless

      furnace of this world. To make injustice the only

      measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.” 

      One story she writes about is of a lady who figure skated when she was young, but she fell out of the ranks and gave it up. Many decades later, she felt there was something missing and always remembered the freedom and satisfaction she got from figure skating when she was young. She decided to pick it back up again, so there she was being coached among young graceful 9 year olds, but she didn't care whether anybody was going to be wowed by her skating. She was doing it out of her need to connect with the art and express herself, for her own sake.

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As Paper_fairy

      Posted

      Hi Paper fairy,

      You will find the strength.  We have too.  We can't leave our children with the legacy of a mother who "topped herself" ! 

      Life is not easy.  No freaking body promised us a rose garden.  I am pretty  cheesed-off with the whole business, just now.

      I am praying for you, too.

      Love from Angel. xx

    • RHGB
      RHGB ADEfree

      Posted

      Ah yes, but FWB, always so appealing and they already know your history, so that obstacle is out the way.

      Unlike me today, I reckon there was one single bagger, no double baggers and some coyote.

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As RHGB

      Posted

      I'm not sure what FWB is ?  Even though the Post was not to me... I am a curious soul !

      I do know about "single baggers" and " double baggers"..... I read Ozzy's book !!  I take it the "coyote" were just straightforward dogs !!!

      Alonangel 🎇

    • RHGB
      RHGB Sober_As

      Posted

      In reverse order, if a coyote is caught in a trap, he would chew his leg off, rather than wait for his impending doom.

      Coyote ugly, is where a bloke wakes up in the morning, with a monster in his bed, that apparently he has had carnal knowledge with the night before (alcohol involved). Rather than wake it up and face the consequences, he chews his own arm off rather than face the pending doom.

      FWB = Friends With Benefits = someone you know of the opposite sex, she/he is neither a partner nor a platonic friend. Someone you get on with, with the added bonus of a 'no strings shag' occasionally.

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As RHGB

      Posted

      Sometimes " too much information ", is more than you bargained for !

      I really should stick my nose out of other people's posts.

      I have heard of "Friends With Benefits", but I don't have any.  Nor do I want them.  Born Again Virgins are soooooooooo difficult ! I am my own person .

      If I could just get Born Again Sober, under my belt...... I'd be totally unbearable... ha, ha !

      'Well impressed by the "Coyote Information"... I foolishly thought it was just a dog... silly, girly moi !!!

      We live and learn...  I can't believe the "Mods" let the "sh" ending in "ag" word, through.  I'm shocked... but then, I don't get out much.

      Alonangel 🎇

       

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 Sober_As

    Posted

    Hi there....I have read all the posts...and I want you to remember all the work you have done in the 14 days...and all the pleasure you were feeling.

    Instead of focusing on the recent drinking.  It happens and you have the "tool" to slow it down again...use it.  I wonder if Naltraxone and Campral can be used together?  Joanna?

    I am taking Campral...I don't know if it has reduced my cravings yet because I do not have 14 days yet and that is usually when my cravings kick in.  My first 2 weeks of not drinking is always just pure pleasure and don't even think of a drink, but as soon as I feel in tip top shape...I think I should have a few beers...ugh.

    Please be kind to yourself....please try again with the one tool you DO have the Selencro (spelling whatever). 

    I don't type much on this site because it literally takes me 25 minutes to post one post and it is super aggravating to me...but I felt it important to reach out to you and wish you the best in a new beginning.

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd Misssy2

      Posted

      So good to hear from you Misssy.

      There are studies that show naltrexone and campral can be used together, but the results seem to show that it is really only useful to try them together if one or the other don't work on their own.  That is, to try each individually first to see if that works.

      The thing is that campral should be taken every day, but naltrexone should only be taken IF drinking.  The idea of campral is to not have you drinking in the first place, as you know, so the naltrexone shouldn't be taken if you are not drinking.

    • RHGB
      RHGB Misssy2

      Posted

      'I wonder if Naltraxone and Campral can be used together?'

      Yes, but it only works if you are abstinent, it is not to be used for TSM.

      Virtually everyone I hear from here only takes TSM meds for TSM, not abstinence.

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree Misssy2

      Posted

      Misssy, what browser are you using (Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome, etc.)? Also, what version of Windows? I'd like to help you banish that frustration.
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree Misssy2

      Posted

      Congratulations too on getting back in the saddle and getting started on Campral! 
    • Sober_As
      Sober_As Misssy2

      Posted

      Hi Misssy,

      I am ok today.  I have come to terms with the sh*t. I am taking my tablet again. At least, my liver got a 2 week vacation !

      Good Luck with the Campral.

      I wish you WELL !

      Your friend,

      Angel  xx  

    • RHGB
      RHGB Misssy2

      Posted

      I shall be interested to see how you get on with Campral. It took a good two weeks with me before it kicked in.
    • tess33005
      tess33005 RHGB

      Posted

      I fnd that very interesting because my by now infamous husband took it and said it was useless, but I later discovered  that he's only taken it for four days. So maybe that explains why he derived no benefit from it.
    • Sober_As
      Sober_As Robin2015

      Posted

      Hi Robin,

      I am ok, thanks.

      I am taking the Selincro/Nalmefene tablet each day. 

      It will take some time before I try Alcohol-free, again.

      I hope all is well with you.

      Alonangel 🎇

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 Sober_As

      Posted

      all is well thanks and sober for 3 1/2 yrs and happy to help in any way I can...Robin
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