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Here we go again...

Posted , 9 users are following.

Sober_As
Sober_As

Oh well... it was only a matter of time.  Hello my lovely friends, I am still an "elbow hole" !  Freaking lost it, after 14 days.  Sick, sick, sick.  All wined out.  'Wish I was dead... same old, same old, same old.  

1 like, 62 replies

62 Replies

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  • Sober_As
    Sober_As

    Posted

    Thank you for your replies.  I don't know what to do for the best, today.  I had not taken the Selincro before the 'blipping binge'!

    I am so disappointed in myself.  I know that I should take the tablet and try controlled drinking, again... but I don't really want to drink at all.

    It's a dilemma to deal with.  I can't decide how to deal with it.

    Thanks again for caring with your support.

    Alonangel 🎇

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd Sober_As

      Posted

      You should do what I suggested above.  Today.  Don't wait.

      Your brain has had the kick from alcohol again and if you do nothing, then it will start to nag away at you until you drink again.

      Taking the Selincro, waiting and drinking is the way you will get to not drinking at all, but in the meantime you need to immediately stamp on any possibilities that you brain starts to crave badly again.

      You did 14 days this time, that's awesome, but you pushed it just a little too far.  Next time might be a month, or two months.  But it's VITAL that you understand that this is a process and that you must not try fight against it and try whitekuckle abstinence.

      The lessen to be taken from this is that you are not quite ready for abstinence yet, but you are getting there.  The Selincro is working and it's doing what it should.  Don't turn back and stop the treatment, keep going with it and you will get there.

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd

      Posted

      I suppose what I am trying to tell you, Alon, is that taking Selincro is like taking a course of anti-biotics for an infection.

      If you stop taking the anti-biotics before the end of the course (even though you might be feeling better) then the infection will fight back and you will end up right back where you started.

      That is exactly the same as with Selincro.  You are part way through and things are getting better.  Didn't you say it was years since you've even had 1 alcohol free day, let alone 14?

      But you must keep on with the method until you reach the end goal of indifference. It WILL happen. 

      You are at a fork in the road and you have two choices.  Continue on.  Or don't.  It's your choice, but I do hope that you will take strength in the fact that none of us have ever lied to you on this forum, and have the trust in us to help you make that decision.

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd Sober_As

      Posted

      Great!

      When you do wait the full 2 hours and take that first drink VERY slowly - really recognise how it feels lacking in excitement compared to yesterday.  Go into this eyes wide open and with the mindset that you are going to have one, or two drinks, at most.

      I will be home all night tonight if you need to contact me.  Not a problem if you do, I only ask that you contact me BEFORE you pass the point of being unable to help.

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As Joanna-SMUKLtd

      Posted

      Thanks, Joanna.  I was 3 days on the wine.  5 bottles... and 3 cans of pre-mixed G.&T.  I am so ashamed. No Selincro involved... mad fool !

      Alonangel 😩

    • RHGB
      RHGB Sober_As

      Posted

      That's the spirit (pun intended), well done girl. I always say, if somethings worth doing, you may as well do it properly.

      And if you're going to have a blow out, then you may as well make it a good 'un.

      Was it 5 bottles a day or over three days? I used to love the Burroughs mixed doubles, whisky and ginger. They actually had a decent alcohol content from a branded whisky and the ginger was nice and strong to aid the kick. Couple of those on a Friday evening, would just kick it off nicely.

      You'll have to excuse the humour, I have just escaped from my Mutual Aid Partnership meeting at the ARC and I'm still recovering.

      PS Don't let Joanna down, she can be quite a dragon when she gets upset.

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As RHGB

      Posted

      Oh RHGB,  you are the limit !!!  I can give the wine 'a run for its money',  BUT, I have met my match in Joanna.  She means business... I used to... but I am older and not as wise as I would wish to be.

      Back to the binge... we might as well call spades shovels !!! 

      It was a BAD THING !!!

      I just went a bit 'mental'.  Thankfully, not 5 bottles of wine in a day.  I  paced myself'.   2 bottles of wine a day. Yoooooooooo !  No 'problemo' !

       

    • Joanna-SMUKLtd
      Joanna-SMUKLtd RHGB

      Posted

      If being a dragon gets the job done, then I will take that as a compliment, thank you!
  • richard89308
    richard89308 Sober_As

    Posted

    we don't wish you dead we want you in better health.
    • Sober_As
      Sober_As richard89308

      Posted

      Thank you, Richard.  I have got to get myself together, again.  Then do battle... as before.  Easier said than done.  I will give it my best shot.  I'm not dead yet !!!

      Alonangel 🎇

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Sober_As

    Posted

    Hi lovely....do not beat yourself up....just start again...we all do it...I did COUNTLESS TIMES....just carry on ...and be very, very, very, very proud that you did 14 days.....hugs...xxxxxx
    • Sober_As
      Sober_As deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Thanks, Deirdre.  I am glad about the 14 days.  It had been 3 years since I had an alcohol-free day.  So... I just have to try again... nobody said this would be easy.  

      I took the Selincro/Nalmefene tablet, today. I have had a bottle of white wine.

      I'll take just go day by day... hugs back babe.xxx

      Alonangel 🎇

  • tess33005
    tess33005 Sober_As

    Posted

    But we all make mistakes, Alonangel. Don't beat yourself up over this. You will rise again and start your slightly interrupted recovery again.

    I know when I was in the early stages of my own recovery (from zopiclone and diazepam\) I went to the internet cafe and ordered loads of zolpidem. I felt so guilty and stupid, but with the help of my famiy, who did not judge me, and others on this website, who also did not judge me, I was able to start my tapering off programme again, and I've stuck to it (so far.)

    I even gave up smoking two weeks ago.

    You wrote a beautiful, kind letter of support to me when I was really down, and it helped me enormously. Please, please don't think you're alone. I, for one, am rooting for you. With lots of love, Tess.

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As tess33005

      Posted

      Hi Tess,

      Is Zopiclone the sleeping tablet ? I accidentally overdosed on that, about 6 months ago... ambulance to A. & E. at 3 a.m.  I got it mixed up with my Diazepam... purple packaging.  

      Even lack of sleep is a freaking nightmare.

      Thank you for caring about my mess-up.  I am trying again.

      Blessings on you, my friend.

      Alonangel 🎇

       

    • tess33005
      tess33005 Sober_As

      Posted

      Yes, zopiclone is a sleeping tablet, and it is manufactured by so many drug companies that it's a complete lottery as to what coloured box they'll be in.

      Having said that, a lot of people, myself included, use it during the day because of its calming affect. This NOT to be recommended. Nowadays my zopiclone is a thing of the past and I'm tapering down slowly with diazepam, overseen by an excellent doctor.

      You're right about lack of sleep being a nightmare, especially if you sleep with somebody who falls asleep within two minutes of getting into bed, snores like mad, and has DTs dreams all night long. I am, of course, referring to my husband.

      But whatever the cause of the insomnia, just remember that your body will 'forget' how to go to sleep naturally if you keep putting things into your brain which wipe out the natural sleeping patterns which non-addicts have.

      I've read that some people are still having problems getting to sleep TWO YEARS after slowly tapering off.

      This isn't very encouraging, is it lol?

      Still thinking of you and hope you'll just do what all we addicts have to do sometimes - face up to the fact that sometimes we'll relapse. And when the relapse is over, we start again.

      I really hope you (and I) will get there. Love Tess

       

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As tess33005

      Posted

      Aw thanks Tess.  You are very thoughtful.  I only had the Zopiclone for a week, to try and re-establish a normal sleeping pattern...  I think I am wired for Australian time-zone !  

      My husband could out-snore a horse !  You can watch horses snoring on Y**tube. It's amazing what you an watch when you should be sleeping... like the 'normals'.

      Love from Angel.xx

    • tess33005
      tess33005 Sober_As

      Posted

      According to MY husband, I could out-snore a horse.

      Cheek.

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