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Hi everyone, im new to this forum, i cant take living anymore

Posted , 11 users are following.

trev95122
trev95122

Im 32 and suffer with depression and anxiety attacks iv never felt like this before and yet to get to see a GP about my problems.

I live alone and lead a very boring work all the time life. My problems seem to block out everything i have and cloud my judgment.

All i can see is no way out and with only one decision to make... "end it"

Im so scared about going to sleep at night due to horrific nightmares that seem so real,

Is life meant to be like this, am i better off dead and letting the more successful, more important people live out a comfortable life.

Eveyone says "things can only get better"

But in my mind my time on this planet has finished.

1 like, 27 replies

27 Replies

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  • amanda35274
    amanda35274 trev95122

    Posted

    Hi trev im suffering severe depression & anxiety. Its been ongoing over the years. At least 20+. For me to say ull come out the otherside as youre state of mind is now wouldnt help u. It didnt me!! But im 6 weeks post suicidal phase but still in the thought processes only in heighened panic & anxiety.. we arent alone were worth something wether u believe me right now or not. Please seek help from a&e crisis team if yr feeling suicidal ryt now ive tried 3 tyms over the years but now i have a daughtet its not an option. Dont give up.dont let this black hope get bigger. Go gp, hosp, talk on here. But temember its final.... there is no going back. Bug hugs & complete understanding of every feeling ur goin thru ryt now, m :0)

    • trev95122
      trev95122 amanda35274

      Posted

      Thanks Amanda, everyday is a wake up struggle for me... i have things in my life i must live for but there are things that have happened in my life that has had a dramatic effect on my future. Depression and anxiety are things iv never experienced before.

      I want to be able to go out and enjoy what splenders this world has but the cost of the things is unreachable for me....

      how can i enjoy life when living is suching my earnings up dry...

      I am seriously stuck in a massive hole without even a spoon to dig my way out....

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 trev95122

      Posted

      Aww trev ive honestly been there with not a pot to p***in. Pardon my french. And somehow, somewat thru a voluntary job @ a local church once led to a small p.t.job n things got a little easier to dig!! Wish i had all the answers hun. This world isnt an easy place but if just one good thing happens maybe a helping hand from mind the charity advocates they will help u with everything & will try their damn hardest against an unjust system that can make it harder for genuine ppl to enjoy when well the beauty out there. And what a life with some resources, help, and friendship has to offer. Hence i say this lookin ahead as im not there yet. Just try not to give up. Maybe something goods just around the corner.. friends on here a good start xx new on here & im finding comfort already xxx

  • light85179
    light85179 trev95122

    Posted

    Its true things can only get better. It seems like you’re only feeling lonely and need someone in your life. You’re always alone and your job is boring causes you to become depress. You should try getting a roommate.  Pick up some hobbies, try going to the gym, hiking, surfing, play sports, go fishing, snowboarding, join community events and meet new people.  If you can, save money and travel that’s the way to go. There’s so much more to life you just have to go out there and explore.

    Just know that you’re not alone, I’ve been through far worse than what you’re going through right now and I didn’t give up. I just found things that made life worth living. Especially knowing that there are people out there going through similar situation as me, Why not try to find those people and become friends, then we can experience life together.

  • borderriever
    borderriever trev95122

    Posted

    We all make our own lives, and we have to enable ourselves to look for new interests.

    All work and no play makes Trev a dull boy

    You mention problems blocking out your judgement, work out on your problems. Take each on and write down what each of these problems are. Now break down each problem into small bites. Attack on problem at a time and take one small bite and attend to that then move onto that next bite. When stuck on the former, look at the next problem and split that into little bite and proceed on through until the problems are solved, little bites make larger bites and that can lead to the conclusion of your concerns

    You nee to get out and enjoy your life after work, at least three times a week and on weekends get out and about, make friends by joining clubs or activities.

    If you feel low and you are frightening yourself, regards Suicide call NHS Helpline on Tel111 and explain your fears, they will Triage and decide how to help.

    Stop not going to see your GP, get down to the clinic appointment in hand. Make a list of your fears, concerns etc and refer to the paper when talking to your GP.

    Your GP may/not arrange some CBT too settle Your Mood

    BOB

    • trev95122
      trev95122 borderriever

      Posted

      Thankyou for your comment... GP booked for tonorrow, scared of going tho i must say
    • shaz6098
      shaz6098 trev95122

      Posted

      Well done for making the appointment to see your GP. The hard part is acknowledging that somnething is wrong, only then can you work out a plan if how to fix it.

      I have had fantastic support from my GP (and staff at the surgery). They have supported me through two years of hell. It took a long time for me to ask for help!

      Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow!

      Best wishes

  • kelly8973
    kelly8973 trev95122

    Posted

    Well done for making an app i wish i didnt need to be on medication but i know without any help id be a mess. I find it difficult to talk to people like the samaratins and never have but it maybe an option for you? The first step is the doctors though. At my lowest i always feel the only way free from pain is to die but death is final and i dont want final i want peace and to enjoy life like i used to. Please let us lnow how you get on x
    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 kelly8973

      Posted

      Aww lovely words kelly & so true. The finality of wanting the peace of feeling better is such a distressing thing that lots of us im sure have tried or contemplated & thankfully didnt go tjru with. Xx

  • yasmine333
    yasmine333 trev95122

    Posted

    Hi Trev,

    Firstly how you're feeling is completely normal when suffering from Depression & Anxiety.

    The fact you're still able to get up go to work & continue life is a testimony to how strong you regardless of how you're feeling right now.

    You've taken a big step forward by talking to us & I definitely think you should see your GP & just tell them how you feel. Hopefully taking charge of the situation will help you feel better.

    One step at a time.

    We're all here for you & understand everything you're going through

    X

  • trev95122
    trev95122

    Posted

    Thankyou all so much for your kind words/comments I understand im not the only one suffering in this way, its hard because all i want to do is shut down, but i drag myself to work everyday in the hope for a better future. Sadly most days is a nightmare! Im looking forward to seeing the doctor, but scared of the outcome!

    I dont have much support at home as i feel talking about this to family members puts them down, and i wouldnt want that. I feel everyone around me is happy and im having to put fake smiles on and say "im ok" when asked how i am when to be honest im not.... its like living two lives... iv been bottling my problems for years, crying and screaming sometimes helps....

    thankfully i have you kind people for advice and personal experiences to share and I appreciate everyone of you.

    I will post my doctors results....

    Scared like i said but i know im taking the first few steps to recovery...

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