Hit rock bottom
Posted , 8 users are following.
Hi, this is my first post on here so I'd appreciate even the smallest bit of advice. I'm at my absolute rock bottom. I've always been an anxious person but never to the extent where I've suffered with side effects. Last week I went to a&e 3 times (one of these times I was taken my ambulance after I rang 111) due to chest pains and other symptoms cardiac related. I'm a student nurse so have a little bit of knowledge around physiology and what can go wrong so I thought the absolute worst. The day after my 3rd a&e attendance, I rang my doctor and he prescribed me diazepam because I hadn't slept in 3 days due to fear of not waking up. I have tried to take in what the doctors in a&e have said about it being anxiety related but I am overweight and worry about the effect on my health. I've had all sorts going on this year but I've never suffered with it like this. Now, all of a sudden, when I've passed uni work and have 2 weeks off and nice things planned with my girlfriend, I'm having approx 10 panic attacks a day. It's unbearable. I have wrote list after list about what could be potentially causing me to be so anxious and I can't find the root cause or anything? My family keep saying "you need to pull yourself together" and my friends are trying to be very "careful" around me. I've rang numerous helplines at various times of the day due to being hysterical and nobody to turn to. My girlfriend is understanding but I don't want to shift all my worries on to her. I'm so scared that I'm going to have a full blown break down and it will ruin my chances at university as I'm fearful they will find out about what's been going on and suggest I take time out to focus on my health. I feel that now I've got nothing to worry about, all the things I've suppressed throughout the year are all coming out in these panic/anxiety attacks. I'm due to have a telephone consultation with my doctor today but im worried they'll want to start my on medication and I really don't want to take anything. I understand why people do but because this is all new to me I want to find out what's causing it before masking the symptoms and being reliant on medication. Even typing this out now is causing the worst pain all across my chest and back. My muscles are in agony from being so tense all week and my jaw is painful from constant teeth grinding when I've finally been able to have a few hours sleep. Sorry for rambling on a bit but this is the first time I've just poured everything out. I really hope there is a light at the end of this awful s****y tunnel. Thanks in advance to anyone that has any advice/tips on how to feel normal again
0 likes, 20 replies
debra83792 Jess91
Posted
Hi Jess,
I know how you feel. I am finding as I get older that my anxiety is getting worse in frequency. I don't like taking drugs, but I have to say that if I didn't I'd be totally non-functional. I know many reasons why I'm like this and try to avoid the triggers, but have found it nearly impossible to do so! I use Clonazapam .5mg and sparingly. Sometimes I can talk myself down, but often that is impossible. If the pill doesn't relieve the panic attack within 20-30 minutes, I know it's a major attack which requires a second one. Frankly, I am not dependent on the drug but I resign myself to the fact that I need it. I had a complete nervous breakdown requiring hospitalization in a psych ward for three weeks about 10 years ago and I never want to go through that again! On the one hand it was a great relief being completely removed from all pressure, but I was trapped and it is terrible to be in a place where you are not allowed to leave! I would follow the Dr's suggestion. I hope you can get relief!
Jess91 debra83792
Posted
Glad to hear you're now better Debra. I was just upset when he prescribed diazepam because I didn't want to get to a stage where I needed that in order to sleep. I'm trying lots of different things such as lavender oil and meditation videos but I can't help thinking it's going to be a long process. I just feel very upset and like I'm in a bubble most of the time. I keep finding things to do to take my mind off everything but it's hard when it's the middle of the night. I'll see what the Dr recommends tomorrow and take it from there. I'm almost st breaking point so I think I'd be happy to try anything just to get some normality back, thank you again for your reply x
debra83792 Jess91
Posted
I didn't mention that I was told by another Dr. at the ER a year ago (on a major anxiety panic visit) that I should take the Clonazapam every night at bedtime, but I told my regular Dr. that and she agreed with me that that really wouldn't be necessary and I could continue using as needed because they might become ineffective eventually.
ella93354 Jess91
Posted
I've been going through the same thing over the past few weeks. It started with a major panic attack where i had completely convinced myself I was having a heart attack. But my anxiety really started to take flight when I started experiencing the symptoms of what I now know to be B.P.P.V - which, in short, is a form of vertigo (dizziness) caused by certain movements of your head (and is completely non life threatening).
Before my diagnosis I drove myself insane thinking I was dying - either from a brain tumor or an oncoming stroke. Or possibly a neuro-degenerative disease. I was only diagnosed a few days ago, and that's helped, but of course as is the case with anxiety, I'm still extremely paranoid. Everyday normal feelings become symptoms of cancer. I've developed chronic pain on and off in my wrists/upper arms which my doctors have assured me is from anxiety and nothing else (if anyone else has developed chronic pain from anxiety please please let me know!)
Every night I wake up because of my vertigo, but the shock of waking up feeling so dizzy and disoriented sends me into a panic attack. It's really hard to deal with. All of this is still very new to me so I'm really still on a learning curve. All of it can be so discouraging, trust me, I know - but all you can do is keep pushing and keep trying. I'm so lucky to have my fiance who is so understanding and patient with me. If you can, try and surround yourself with the people who are the most supportive and accepting of your struggle.
sharon14125 Jess91
Posted
So sorry you're going through this. Please don't rule out medications, as they can be a big help. Think of it as a medical problem, if you have high blood pressure you surely would take medicine to control it. While medications are not miracle cures they can help ease some symptoms, until you get control. Reading the posts on this site can really help, so you know that you are not alone. I find distraction really helps, reading books, listening to music, praying. I hope you find answers you're looking for.