Hopelessly binge drinking into oblivion ??!

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Hi  this is my first post to forum so i hope it makes sense! Just wondering if anyone has experienced this kind of pattern and would appreciate any tips how to stop! I been drinking heavily twice a week for about 7 years now but was always was the noticeable one from early on, quite self destructive in terms  of use. I can’t seem to control the anxiety which consumes me after two drinks, its a horrid feeling like walking on thin ice i don’t know what’s in store for tonight once started.

Before was always happy go lucky merry drinker while at uni, but following bereavements ,health conditions, job change etc,  this seemed to have replaced by unhappy, frustrated and angry alcoholic. i now drink alone indoors most weekends to try and keep out of trouble as recently things are getting worst when out with friends, the arguments, sarcasm, insults i’m ashamed to say etc. I am a nice good person and don’t like the ‘other’ person emerging after i drink  and determined to stop before some an event occurs and there is no going back. I have been to couple mates  funerals that were alcohol related and should know better about the road ahead. I had a big problem with coke that landed me in hospital twice before following OD but have been clean so far. But my vice has always been the alcohol and i worried this don’t care attitude will trigger full relapse of everything. I went  AA, personal meeting and atm reading and realising the difficulty but wondering am i addicted to drink already and what to do??!

I am aware from the literature that this type of drinking often leads to alcoholism and given my circumstances and factors, i dislike the fear as is part and parcel which feeds it itself. I am back on sleeping tablets as planning to fight ahead for 30 days off but already tried and failed several times this year. sad

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  • Posted

    Larry,

    Your story is almost exactly like mine. I became so tired of that "other"guy f*cking up my life that something had to be done. So I quit. AA talks about just surrendering so I did. I have come to realize if I do d not stop I would die. I just don't want to die so early when I feel like I have so much yet to do. So I'm about to begin my third month sober. Today is that day actually. Do whatever it takes do not one more drink becomes a standard in your life. 

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    • Posted

      Wow 90 days excellent!!

      Yes that other person seems to just pop in and wreck havoc and prevent anything good but it’s great you are choosing not to allow it to rule your life

      I manage 3 months last year and just felt like the right thing to do. People were coming back into my life, things seemed brighter and i was happier, but one must keep trying and taking it day by day..

      Keep up the good work!!

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  • Posted

    Hello Larry,

    I think the most important thing is that you have noticed it and are keen to prevent any icidents which cause you embarrassment or worse.

    Alcohol affects different people in different ways. You get the loud but funny drinker, the one who starts undressing, the one who looks for a fight, the one who simply falls asleep to name just a few. Recognising which type you are is key to ensuring that you don't do it in the wrong place (out with the boss for example) and you seem to be dealing with that by drinking alne but, as you realise, that could bring its own problems.

    I think you probably need to ask yourself why you drink. What is it that makes you do something which you know is likely to make you behave in ways you are ashamed of. What is the appeal of the alcohol? What happens if you DON'T drink. Are you able to take a night off from drinking on a night when you nrmally would? If you do, what happens? Do you get agitated? Are you just bored?

    Also, why don't you stop at two. Is it imposible for you to stop once you have had two drinks? Does one drink always lead to more? Is the only way to control your drinking to avoid alcohol altogether?

    Just a few questions to ask yourself. Please feel free to send me a private message if you want to chat. Just to let you know, I am a qualified nurse specialising in alcohol problems smile

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    • Posted

      Hi Paul, thanks for the info and advice! Yes those are very valid questions which i have asked myself many a time, ie next day and while intoxicated. I guess my self esteem has taken quite a wallop over the years not to mention my liver and stomach ulcer.

      it’s a pattern of behavior to my knowledge on specific days. Believe me i’ve tried everything! Non alcoholic beer, 1 or 2 controlled drinking with food, switching to lemonade half way though etc, abstinence is the solution for me. Once i start, it’s like an engine that doesn’t switch off and i get into real panic if it’s quarter to eleven comes and the fridge is empty- just unbearable after many drinks. Worst still, i’ve missed it and will walk 3 miles to the 24 hour tesco or even ride at 3am with bags! Madness. I think the don’t care attitude is the most dangerous. Being lucky to keep my job so far but understand why people would consider steeling alcohol from a supermarket without hesitation.

      When i get to the 3 week mark, there is a big change and i feel calmer and somehow better but i can’t get seem to budge from 5 days atm!  I still got a quite few bridges unburned fortunately and want to keep it that way.  The main feature of my drinking style is complete obliteration which stems from self destruction i think by not having not had the best start in life did me no favours.  Some of my remaining friends say i am my worst own enemy , it’s very sad to see me destroying all the qualities and choosing to the bottle. 

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    • Posted

      Larry, sometimes a detox gives you a good start. Althoiugh it doesn't sound like you have physical withdrawal symptoms on the days you don't drink, detox can relax you and give you that good start. You would be on your own from 7 days onwards but probably much calmer after a few days of medication and support from a health professional. Many areas have home detox services and they may agree to help you in that way. It's worth speaking to your GP. There are private services available if you are ok cashwise and prefer to keep it away from your GP, but I would suggest that it is better your GP knows anyway, even if you did use a private service. If you DO use a private service, be careful!! There are a lot who will charge you a lot and ONLY send out a prescription, otherwise leaving you to get on with it alone.

       

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    • Posted

      Paul

      I'm exactly the same when it comes to binge drinking and I need to stop. I went round a friends Sunday only intending to drink a couple but a couple turned into more and i cant remember leaving. My son saw me fall over which he found funny but i never want him to witness that again. My partner has had enough and i really need help. I don't want to stop just need control over it. Any ideas or tips please.

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    • Posted

      Yes Charlotte, The Sinclair Method. Google it and I'll send you a link by private message. There was an article on this site but they removed it which means we can't just link to it without our posts having to be approved anymore.

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    • Posted

      Paul

      Do you think alcoholism is an illness or hereditary?

      I feel it is the worse addiction and I don't drink at all cos in the past the comedown was panic attacks.

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    • Posted

      In case Paul does not respond just yet, it is an illness and hereditary.  Very hard to battle but can be done.
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    • Posted

      Hello Louisa. Alcohol Use Disorder (the proper up-to-date name for it) is a physiological disorder in which the sufferer gets a far greater reward from drinking alcohol than non-sufferers get. This leads their body to demand increasing amounts of alcohol until they discover that they are not fully in control of their drinking. It is heriditary and it is rare that I come across a person with this disorder who can't think of anybody else in their family who has also had (or got) the disorder.

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    • Posted

      Larry, I don't know if you've experienced some pattern of drying out and relapsing, but you might want to look into The Sinclair Method mentioned on this page if that's a problem. 

      http://patient.info/forums/discuss/useful-resources-487627

      I was more of a daily drinker myself and decided to try TSM after running at a couple of six packs per night for a couple of years. I'd started drinking daily over 30 years ago, it inched up bit by bit. When I started TSM, I got a pretty good reduction in my drinking right off the bat and 6 months later I was down to less than a six pack per month. That's about what I've been drinking since last August. Well within low-risk drinking limits. There was no sudden detox involved, just a slow month-by-month decrease in my drinking levels. I'd tried just quiiting a few times before, but never made it more than a few days. I'd tried tapering off, but always came roaring back. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Larry, I have been a drinker for 15 years or more, in 2012 i lost my best friend to Cancer at 41 years old. so i drank more. I'm now having liver scans and pain every day because of it!. I drank every night and have failed many times. I have 3 children and i feel guilty as hell when i look at their beautiful faces when they tell me i'm the best mum ever and they love me so much!!. I did a month which was bloody hard!!, and i slipped a bit again but if i dont nail it i'm a gonner as my liver is swollen and painful. Please quit while you can before you get like me!!!
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    • Posted

      You are not too far gone Lesley smile Have a look at what I advised Larry above and have a think about it smile Don't try and stop drinking without medical help if you find yourself experiencing physical withdrawal symptoms, it can be extremely dangerous.
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