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Before was always happy go lucky merry drinker while at uni, but following bereavements ,health conditions, job change etc, this seemed to have replaced by unhappy, frustrated and angry alcoholic. i now drink alone indoors most weekends to try and keep out of trouble as recently things are getting worst when out with friends, the arguments, sarcasm, insults i’m ashamed to say etc. I am a nice good person and don’t like the ‘other’ person emerging after i drink and determined to stop before some an event occurs and there is no going back. I have been to couple mates funerals that were alcohol related and should know better about the road ahead. I had a big problem with coke that landed me in hospital twice before following OD but have been clean so far. But my vice has always been the alcohol and i worried this don’t care attitude will trigger full relapse of everything. I went AA, personal meeting and atm reading and realising the difficulty but wondering am i addicted to drink already and what to do??!
I am aware from the literature that this type of drinking often leads to alcoholism and given my circumstances and factors, i dislike the fear as is part and parcel which feeds it itself. I am back on sleeping tablets as planning to fight ahead for 30 days off but already tried and failed several times this year.
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