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How do I not drink with my collegues without isolating myself?

Posted , 11 users are following.

tre123
tre123

Hi All,

Hope everyone is doing ok and managing their problem. I have just come on to think out loud really and see if anyone can relate/advise...

I work for a construction company and needless to say there is a drinking culture ingrained into i. Somebody leaves..Drinks. Project comes to completion...Drinks...you get the picture!

This friday is a big one. A popular character is leaving, its the first summer social and theres a few birthdays, mine included but I am keeping it under wraps.

My problem is that I am worried that if I go I will get the most drunk and do something embarrassing or even worse. 

1 like, 17 replies

17 Replies

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  • tre123
    tre123

    Posted

    sorry I hadn't finished,

    The last time we went for drinks something really bad happened, although i had left the party by then and i think (hope) i have managed to get away with it. I cannot risk it again though.

    If I stop going to these things though i risk isolating myself. I only have my collegues as friends  as my other friends live miles away and I don't want to seem weird. Also though I know if i get to drunk i risk alienating them and I don't want that either. The simple solution is to not get too drunk, but if that was really an option i doubt i would be on this forum.

    Not sure how to proceed

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 tre123

      Posted

      HI Tre. Great that you are being honest and I will repeat RHGB's reply and try to drink weaker beer or shandy or perhaps you are having stomach problems and cannot drink wine or whatever you normally...not easy but try it!! Robin
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree tre123

      Posted

      What method are you using to for controlling the drink, Tre?
    • RHGB
      RHGB tre123

      Posted

      So Tre, how is the hangover?
    • vickylou
      vickylou RHGB

      Posted

      Hopefully not too bad! I will be surprised if he didn't go. 
  • RHGB
    RHGB tre123

    Posted

    Drink shandy, half and half on a standard lager. If someone pulls you up on it, tell them you are on medication and shouldn't be drinking. But you wanted to celebrate a bit without upsetting your doctor.
  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 tre123

    Posted

    tre sad....I think the only answer right now is NOT TO GO FRIDAY.  You have a DRS appointment remember? LOL...one you can't miss.....

    Yes, it is a big day...but it is a big RISK for you at this time.  

    I'm curious as to what your current drinking status is?  Have you stopped?

    Are you on Naltraxone or anything else?

    It really doesn't matter what the status is....but I just want to know.....it doesn't matter because you KNOW this is a bad situation for you at this time and if you go...it is bad for you....

    you are not going to be isolating yourself for LIFE...just for that one day.

    • tess33005
      tess33005 Misssy2

      Posted

      I was going to say that!!!!

      You pinched my comment.

      Ha ha Misssy - you always make me laugh.

    • tre123
      tre123 Misssy2

      Posted

      Hi Missy,

      I think you may be right with regards to friday but will see how the next few days pan out. There's talk of going out for food beforehand so could maybe go for that then leave.

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 tre123

      Posted

      Food is always good and many times would curb the craving for a drink for me...but that doesn't work that way for everyone.

      I really think you shouldn't go.....and don't feel bad about it....its better for you not to go....and you are the one that has to walk in your shoes and have the hangover or the ramifications of becoming out of control. 

      Trust me....all friends scatter when needed the most.....so worry about #1...no one else will.

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 tess33005

      Posted

      I can relate to how tre is feeling and I don't know if it is men that are different or if it is just that woman seem to be more open about talking about their problems. There are SOME men that are open and if in this situation their friends would encourage them NOT to drink.

      When I quit 8 years ago there were work functions and because I had told everyone that I was struggling with alcohol...I recieved understanding and at one particular function...I received understanding and alot of questions - some which made me feel others wanted to be like me and be able to sustain drinking at functions.  I felt proud of myself.

      That one party I went to I told them I wanted to try (but I was completely sober and happy about it).....and I told them I would probably leave early and not to take it personally but it was to protect my sobriety.  

      When I arrived I went to the bar and ordered my own soda with lemon.  No one at the table had a drink yet.  So when drinks came around...I was not needing one.

      TRE,,you could order a non alcoholic drink that looks like your drink too.

      After about an hour when I started feeling "sad" that I couldn't drink....I left.  Everyone I had told was "glad" I was leaving.

      Being me....not necessarily a woman....I had alot of support because everyone was aware of the problem.  I think it is all our personality.

      not so much that Tre is a man...but he apparaently is not the open type and MOST MEN are not going around spewing their problems to their friends...And his personality is not going to change SO....he has a big decision to make....Go and get thru it or AVOID it.

      If I were him I would not go.  Only cause he hasn't formed a support with any of the people that will be there. 

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2

      Posted

      tre...what is the verdict.

       

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 tre123

      Posted

      TRE!!!! Today is the day!  If you go...remain strong...remember you have bronchitis or something and are taking medicine you can't drink on...or you have to leave early for an appointment....OR AT BEST.

      YOU CANT GO BECAUSE.....

    • vickylou
      vickylou Misssy2

      Posted

      Must admit, I always found it easier not to go sometimes. Couple of shandies and say you're on medication tends to stop people commenting and fobs them off. Easier for women to blame a diet and don't want to exceed slimming world syns!! Yes I have spelt 'syns' correctly!
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