How do I tell my wife I have genital herpes?

Thx but that would be the end of my marriage😫😫

If you knowingly give her herpes that would be the end of your marriage and not a gift you want to keep giving

Good point. I'll make sure I don't. 

Still waiting for blood test results. But the symptoms are exactly like those of HSV-2. 

HSV1 and HSV2 both exhibit the same symptoms, and either can infect the genitals, especially if you received oral sex from someone carrying the cold sore virus. However, when infected genitally, HSV1 is much less infectious and frequently occurring than HSV2. Type matters, so find out which one you have.

And your wife must surely know you are not monogamous. Living apart for some/half of the year and sex only once a year? She's no fool deep down, but denial is a strong self-preservation mechanism, but I digress.

Thanks for your good response. I've had HSV-1 for a long time. It's been so long, I don't even know how I contacted it. I'm positive that what I have now on my penis is NOT HSV-1. Anyway, I should hear from my Doctor tomorrow, Test result I mean. As for her suspicions & denials, you're spot on. She doesn't trust me but she also doesn't have any proof that I've been unfaithful. The denial part is that she's afraid to probe and find out so she doesn't. It's complicated. As for my wicked part in this, I'm ending all extra marital affairs since I do not want to have anymore secrets. They're heavy & unpleasant. As for past secrets, I'll just "bury" them. This may sound strange but I truly love my wife and would never want to harm her physically or emotionally. So, I've digressed. Sorry!

No need to apologise, and nothing's really that complicated. It's just human nature. But then again, maybe that is complicated. Hmmm, lol. That's great if you've decided to stay true, though. Sometimes it takes a kick in the pants to make you realise certain things. As for whether this is herpes or not, if you already have HSV1 orally, then you should be immune from getting it elsewhere.. But what makes you think it's genital herpes? Classic symptoms? And how were you tested? I hope they swabbed you during your outbreak. That's the most accurate test. Blood tests can be a bit iffy for herpes.

...should be immune from getting it elsewhere, so that does leave HSV2.. Missed that last part out. If it's somehow gHSV1, it's not so bad nor infectious. If it's gHSV2, you can simply avoid sex. Once or twice a year isn't exactly missing much. And if you don't have sex, there's no risk. Kissing and cuddling are fine. Sharing a bathroom, doing laundry together, etc., is fine. That then leaves it up to you whether or not to tell. If you have sex, you should tell and take full precautions. My two (pragmatic) cents, at least.

Hi Feliz & thanks again. Great news today. Negative on HSV2 but positive on HSV1. In other words, the sex partner most likely didn't give it to me. As I said before, I've had HSV1 for many years now with typical cold sores on my lips. I've been under a lot of stress lately so I gave the virus to myself!! It just showed up on my penis for the first time instead of my lips. Yes, my doctor also took a culture with a swab. By the way my wife has HSV1 too. Lesson learned! I feel fortunate & a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulder. 

Yea def great news

Interesting. You should be immune from getting HSV1 genitally! Do you mind me asking whether the swab came back positive for HSV1? And what were the blood tests: IgG or IgM? Lastly, how long since the likely exposure date, or if you're unsure, when was your first outbreak? Curious!

Just realised that you're going through your suspected first outbreak now, according to your initial post. The only test result that means anything at this early stage is thus the swab. All of the blood tests cannot be relied upon to detect herpes so soon. IgM is never accurate or reliable, and IgG not until after a couple of months to be safe, but ideally after 3+ months in order to be conclusive.

Thanks for replying Yolanda. In a better world, I totally agree with you. But I rather never have sex with her than give her this. Why open a can of worms when she and I don't have a sex life to begin with?  "Let the sleeping dogs, sleep!"