HOW do you leave an alcoholic spouse?

Posted , 10 users are following.

I've been with my husband for 15+ years and we have 3 children together (4, 7 & 9). He admitted pretty early into our relationship that he had a problem with drinking and I already knew he'd had a problem with drugs just prior to our meeting. Over the years I've seen him continuously cycle through binge drinking, then stopping for several weeks, or sometimes even months, at a time. He smokes pot every night. I've tolerated it as the lesser of two evils because he stays away from the alcohol for longer when he has a 'crutch'.

This year he's had a lot of relapses with drinking and cocaine. The last time he came home drunk I said I wanted to leave with the kids. When he sobered up he talked me out of it, of course, but we agreed that I would leave if it happened again.

Well, it just happened again and I don't know what to do. I thought my exit strategy would be to take the kids to a nearby hotel, hostel even, until I go through the motions of applying for emergency accomodation through the housing executive. But as he's lying drunk in bed, I'm thinking things like, 'I can't go anywhere until the school uniforms are washed and dried' and 'how will I keep my daughter's antibiotics refrigerated?' I have feeling if I don't leave before he sobers up, I never will! I believe that our leaving is the only way he'll make a serious effort to change. My ideal outcome is that he will start going to AA (again) but this time he will have an epiphany and we could eventually live together as a family again.

My family all live in another country. While his brothers know my situation and are supportive, I don't feel AT ALL comfortable asking anyone to take us in for a couple days. My husband's unemployed and I am a stay-at-home mum. So, while I have a credit card, I would have to be uber-frugal.

Then there's the issue of what to tell the kids...

Has anybody had any experience (or known someone who has) of dealing with leaving an alcoholic partner and have any suggestions?

1 like, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi. Thanks for replying. I'm glad things have calmed down again. Hope it stays that way. We are here if you need a chat. He's very lucky to have such a caring partner but don't let him take advantage of that. Stay strong and best wishes to you ..c xx

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