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Its 1038pm here.. I have been anxious for going on my third day now (which is normal, ill usually go into a bit of a slump every few days).. The weird thing is I dont feel anxious.. My body is so ungodly anxious but my mind has stayed calm.. Or its the other way around, i cant tell anymore. I find myself more and more telling myself that something bad is bound to happen soon. I mentally dont allow myself to have a good day.. Ive talked myself so much into anxiety that Im afraid if i say i had a good day, God will notice and have something horrible happen to me. Does anybody else feel like this? I tell myself one bad thing that happens per day. Im too scared to tell myself something good that happened..I think it comes from my mom and I always saying "if we didnt have bad luck, wed have no luck at all".. Ive always had bad luck, but lucky on other things also.. I dont know why i think God is going to punish me constantly, but i even find myself praying alot more than I used too. (Which is great, I just wish i could start praying without the reason of fear and anticipation behind it)
Im not really looking for advice in this one, just wanted to vent and maybe find some awake people to talk to.. and im a bit curious if anyone else is scared to have a good day.. I know a few of you are probably getting annoyed with my frequent posts, but i only have the people on here to discuss my problems with, mainly because everyone around me assumes i should be better by now and basically tells me to get over it..
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