1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

How much is too much?

Posted , 5 users are following.

sarah52641
sarah52641

I've read online in various articles and forums that i need to be telling my depressed boyfriend that I love him at least once a day. But how much is too much? I always tell him I love him on his way out to work and when I roll over to go to sleep after I've said good night. But how often should I be saying it too him before I sounds like I'm nagging or it starts to annoy him?

Thanks sarah x

2 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Carolyn431
    Carolyn431 sarah52641

    Posted

    I've never heard of this but does make sense. When you are depressed you can feel unloved and for example I wouldn't let friends see me as I thought I looked ugly and a mess. I think once a day is enough as not to bombard him. Is your boyfriend getting any help with depression? It can be very hard when someone close has it. My dad had it bad a couple of years ago it was a really worrying time

    • sarah52641
      sarah52641 Carolyn431

      Posted

      Hi Carolyn431. I eventually got him to go to the docs the other day but they didn't prescribe him anything but said if he carries on feeling like it to go back.

      As it was only a few evenings ago I I haven't pushed it. I'm constantly worrying about him and reading up about things.

      Thank you for your reply

      Sarah x

    • Carolyn431
      Carolyn431 sarah52641

      Posted

      Give it say 2 weeks if no better go back. Some doctors sadly have little understanding of depression mine included! Don't be afraid to see another doctor for second opinion, im actually thinking of changing surgeries, too many locums. Reading up is good just remember every one is different what works for one may not work for another, he's lucky to have such a supportive girlfriend, good luck x

    • sarah52641
      sarah52641 Carolyn431

      Posted

      Hi Carolyn, this is the link to my first post re. My friend -https://patient.info/forums/discuss/i-think-my-boyfriend-is-depressed-he-won-t-get-help-and-is-pushing-me-away--557464

      Last night we sat down and had a chat about things and he said he didn't think he was depressed and don't need help!! He thinks it's just how he is (I've read that this is a common feeling with depression)

      I kind of gave him a big pep talk and told him if he does want to split up that's fine. We'll both move on and it won't be like his past relationships of still being friends afterwards. I wouldn't want to talk to him or see him!

      We've decided to work on things (again) and in a few weeks if he's still the same I'll book him another app at the docs. to be honest i don't know how much I can take with it all. I feel like I'm not emotionally strong enough to cope with it all. When the person you love so much turns round and tells you that they don't think they love you anymore is the worst feeling I've ever had.

      X

    • Carolyn431
      Carolyn431 sarah52641

      Posted

      When i was depressed i was like a stranger to friends my husband anf family. When i'm well i'm fiesty, strong willed, talkative, i turned into someone who barely knew how to talk anymore. I got anxiety, lost interest in food and cooking and even things like putting a wash on or going in bath was a huge effort. It is an enormous strain on a relationship. I was convinced my husband would leave me, had to go sick from work i couldnt concentrate or sleep. My parents were in tears most days..... he needs to accept he needs treatment and admit he is unwell. If he does that support him as you have been but if he wont even for your sake you need to do some thinking about the relationship x

  • rach1443
    rach1443 sarah52641

    Posted

    You could tell him I love you 100 times a day and it not mean anything to him. Because it's become so routine for us just to say I love you as part of our relationships the term becomes empty more or less The trick is for to tell him I love you and for him to feel it from you. smile

  • borderriever
    borderriever sarah52641

    Posted

    Cannot be nagging, to be honest with you as the relationship becomes more intense and more accepting, it is sad it becomes less and less

    Enjoy the early stages and it goes on for a lot longer as you begin to know eachother

    BOB

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.