Husband, wish I'd known.

I am sorry this is giving some off you the creeps. I wondered, but when I googled and found some answers to old hurts, you spoke freedom to me. I mostly let it go years go, but I am doing like I have other others- forgiveness and its healing are cyclic until it's boring, such as being molested as a child. A bit more of my profile, since I think it will help. (And I expect to be history when some of my existential questions concerning  me and my peer group are answered.) I am a one woman man, never had intercourse with another, and considered her a gift from God forever. We have 3 mutual stunning children, in laws and grandchildren. (Some people think they have neat grandkids, but we really do) We live a 100 miles apart. I had to leave, even though our youngest was only 12 at the time. I have a memory that stores videotapes, while hers is more selective than anyone I know. I had just got her through grad school and when she had a job, I was out. Sure, I could have started over with another woman, but that is not what I promised her, God, and those assembled that day in 1975, and it would have been so much easier. I found out who were my friends after that! Some came to me afterwards, and begged forgiveness with  tears. She never was as much an issue as those that put words in her mouth and coached her to play on her fears were the issue, and I my work is to let them go, and it is another period of cleaning house, of mopping up another layer. You have already done more good than you can imagine. 

Hi David, I do sympathise with the hell you have been through, I too think both men and women need more information of what to expect, the actual damage that Menopause can cause on a otherwise happy long marriage/ relationship. I went through a time where I too became unsure of my feelings, got convinced my 13yr marriage was no good, and I deserved better he did .. the kids were going through an happy life .. when it was in my head, however I did not come to that conclusion until many years later when it was too late with children who went through more hurt than I ever could of imagined, I just know it was an action I would not ever of done had I been of my normal sound mind, I actually put it down to having a nervous breakdown at the time. All I can say is sorry for all the damage we menopausal women put all the faithful loving husbands and partners out there.

kind regards 

carol