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I always think I'm dying and I have cancer

Posted , 5 users are following.

1nicelad4u
1nicelad4u

This is so lime!. Am 33 year old. I have 3 kids right now I feel like rock bottom! I panic and I always think in my head what ifs. Meaning what if this is wrong with me or what if that is wrong with me!. It's drive me crazy!. It's like am in my own little bubble all I think of the worse all the time! It's not fair on my kids or on my girlfriend!. I should be the stong one! Keeping the family together!. Right now I am like the child and she the mum! So bad! I hate it!. I can't work because of this! I stopped gym! All over acid reflux! Because I think it's going to kill me! Am so bad and a sorry excuse of a man!. And I mean that.... We are might to live life and enjoy it. Easy said and done. Is the anyone in the same boat? I had this since a child it comes and gos the way I think..

1 like, 17 replies

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  • rawb
    rawb 1nicelad4u

    Posted

    Yo, anxiety is the fear of the Unknown. You don't know wether it's cancer or just a head ache you don't know wether the fast heart best means something more sinister. In all honesty you're very young to have something really bad happen to you.

    I had the same experience with acid reflux and anxiety too. Here's something most things don't tell you. Your stomach is very much apart of your sympathetic nervous system it's classed as 'your second brain' so if your heads nervous your stomach will be too. Ever heard of people who have knots in their stomach when they have an interview or a big date etc? That's because it's all connected, the physical act of having an interview isn't making your stomach weak, it's your thoughts. So just take that as solace that your brain is probably causing them problems and you don't actually have a physical illness.

    That being said you need to work on your thought process. Most people would stop worrying at the fact that they're not actually ill. But is anxiety sufferers it's not that easy. You need to work on this in the same way someone who had broken their legs has to retain there legs to work properly. You need to retrain your brain.

    Have you been to see your GP about having some therapy? I think CBT would really help you.

    • 1nicelad4u
      1nicelad4u rawb

      Posted

      Hi. Thanks for the comment. Yeah I been to the doctor and am on the waiting list for cbt. And your right there the fear is the unknown!. I hate it! It's eats away at you.. One min your ok and the next your not! It's so horrible when your mind wonders!. Trust me I do try and fight it. I think what it boil down to is the fear of death. Sad isn't it. Really it is.
    • rawb
      rawb 1nicelad4u

      Posted

      It's sad that it's stopping you from living yes. Are you in England? Ring IAPT directly I waited for 6 months on the waiting list and drove myself crazy I complained to my GP so many times then rang IAPT directly and they said they'd never even received a referral. GP's are pretty slack ...

      But believe me when I say this cause this is something I didn't believe.. You need to sort out your breathing. Do your hardest to practice yoga or relaxation techniques. Try some light meditation or guided meditation anything that will help you take control of your breathing. There are several breathing exercises you can do too. Look them up. As soon as you can control your breathing you can control your panic attacks, as soon as you're not panicking half the battle will be won. You'll gradually start believe that there's nothing wrong with your insides you won't ache all the time you won't feel ill you won't get dizzy. And trust me when I say you'll slowly forget about it for 95% of the time. Yeah, you'll have some time when you're worried and panicked, but it'll be manageable.

      Be strong pal. Good luck

    • 1nicelad4u
      1nicelad4u rawb

      Posted

      I have hear that's great. Never done it. Yeah am in England Cornwall now. Original from Manchester!. Do u know what we really doing we over thinking! Life is death! We have one shot at this!.
  • justbeingme2
    justbeingme2 1nicelad4u

    Posted

    You are right, it's not fair to your family. Medication and therapy are great but you also have to want to change. I am not perfect...oh how I know this. I have my bad days of anxiety and depression. I often tell myself get up and go! I wish I had a better support system but I don't. It is what it is...I make do. It's okay to have a bad day but everyday can't be bad. You have to fight the negative thoughts and you can do it :-)! I have an ex who I almost took back in and oh my! I can't take his negativity and complaints about everything! Please, don't get me wrong, I tried with him. Even recently for my boys sake but he is paranoid and complaints about others and does not look at himself. He almost moved back in and threw that out the window because of his negative behavior and not trying to change. I feel like if I have made positive changes he can too but you have to want to and he brings me down.

    I hope you don't feel I'm being harsh. I just think sometimes we need to hear the truth. You can become the man your family needs but you have to fight to get there! Get the therapy, get the meds, change negative thoughts to positive ones and know you will have bad days and that's okay! You just pick yourself up the next day and keep fighting.

    I felt I needed to say this and wish I had someone to tell it like it is for me. We can't rely on others all the time...we have to learn to rely on ourselves and be strong for our family. I wish you well and hope you can see what I'm trying to say.

    • 1nicelad4u
      1nicelad4u justbeingme2

      Posted

      I totally understand what your saying.. Abs trust me I do try so much. I know for my family I need to sneap out of this and I will! I am on meds and am booked in for cbt. I want to get to the rot of this!. I love my kids to bits! It's about time I grow up and take life as it comes!.
    • justbeingme2
      justbeingme2 1nicelad4u

      Posted

      I know it's not easy. I have had a tough time of it and people don't understand unless they've experienced it. I also know I've been fighting and slowly changing. Take it one day at a time. A moment at a time. Nothing good comes easy :-). You won't snap out of it because you have an illness...you just have to learn to control it and not allow it to take over your life. The fact that you posted here and you want to change is so very brave of you and speaks volumes. Taking it one day at a time and not being hard on myself when I have bad days has helped tremendously. I used to be down for days because I had a bad day. I was worried about how people saw me. I've let go of that for the most part but it was not easy. You want to change and get better....that's the first step and you've made it! Stay strong and don't give up! XX
    • 1nicelad4u
      1nicelad4u justbeingme2

      Posted

      Yeah I know what u mean but you know what it all boils down to? Scared of death!. Like raw said it's a a fear of the unknown! Which it's totally right! Instead of living for the moment we think too far a head
  • Gem1973
    Gem1973 1nicelad4u

    Posted

    Hello I have suffered with panic attacks since I was 16 and am 42 now the tick is to think positive, and to do something that calms you like watch TV also I thought I would never have come out of house as I lost my dad on Boxing Day to cancer but with my meds and my mum I am getting through we keep each other going, try to think about your kids they will get you through bad times 
    • 1nicelad4u
      1nicelad4u Gem1973

      Posted

      I know gem it's so horrible am so sorry about your dad! What your daily life like?
  • Gem1973
    Gem1973 1nicelad4u

    Posted

    I try to keep busy it helps having a wonderful mum and I believe my dad is watching over me bet he's sat on cloud watching the racing lol 
  • Gem1973
    Gem1973 1nicelad4u

    Posted

    And I believe we go to our loved ones who have gone on ahead and I try not to think about death as that's all I thought about after my dad passed and my aunt said live as no tomorrow and laugh aslong as you live and love aslong as you breathe I try to live every day to the full since I lost my dad just think there's nothing worst I can have thrown at me as that but I always say think positive 
    • 1nicelad4u
      1nicelad4u Gem1973

      Posted

      Yeah he is! I definitely don't think this is it!. Hopefully our love ones who has pass will be waiting for us. It's just nice to know am not alone on this.
    • justbeingme2
      justbeingme2 1nicelad4u

      Posted

      Sorry 1...I was not stereo typing and only spoke from experience because I lived feeling bad about myself and was not making progress. I don't normally comment on here because of the clicks and just read. However, I responded to you because I was there. I felt I was going to die and wanted to go to the hospital every five minutes. It was awful! I understand...believe me. I am a female and I had to fight to get better for my family and still work on me everyday. I hope I did not offend you as it was not my intention. Take care!
    • 1nicelad4u
      1nicelad4u justbeingme2

      Posted

      You really don't need to be sorry!. Really am listing and been there myself. A and e over little things. Doctors 2 to 4 time a week!. No believing them etc. am learning that we are wasting time being like that. It's sad really but that how it is.
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