I am a little angry and disappointed

Thanks linda for hlping me with this support. I will certainly check it out.

Mel

Hi dina:

I am also considering this. Please let me know how it turns out. I would like to have feedback. Happy to comment and that is what I do best. Take care of yourself and dont hesita contacting me at anytime. Once I get my laptop back, it will be a blessing to type what I want and have lots fewer errors, It has been a nightmare to do this on my tablet.

Mel

Hi Dina and Mel. My doctor wanted me to get the Nevro Sensa so I did a search on this site and got some negative reviews, so I have decided to wait for now.  Also, do a google search on your surgeon and see what others think.  I  on mine and 9 out of 11 hate him, and I didn't like him either.  So check it out.  Good luck to both of you 

I am not certain if I replied to this. Anyway if I didnt then I looked it over as my PA recommended it. I say PA as there are more of them now as ever before. I am saying that they are not better than doctors of their knowledge but they still have to go through 6 years of medical school, unlike doctors/who are required to have8 years and internship plus keeping up with advance learning. Sometimes I wonder why PAs just dont become a doctor which gives them an honor to be an MD. But then they have to set their own priorities. I do have a good PA and I like him. They can just about taking care of my needs with certain restrictions such as spinal injections, surgical procedures and certain advice. I am certain that they dont make the money that doctors do but I do find they are more personable ane easier to get along with. They talk my language and tend to be more patient. So there are pros and cons on treatment. At least they can also write prescriptions. As you know that with any narcotic, you have to personally have the prescription in your hands each and every mont to bring to your pharmacy. Plus the fact that every time you go for your appointment, you have to give a urine sample and bring the presciption bottle in. The laws are so strict now regarding narcotics and of course it is the misuse of these medicines and other drug problems that are abused. Than includes what goes on in the street. It really makes it so much harder to get the drugs to have pain relief and dosages are much less. Also the types of narcotic prescribed are not nearly as good as in earlier times, I remember that Demerol was useda and now it is almost impossible to get. It was the drug of choice. When I had surgery in the hospital back in the 70s every 3 hours I got a shot of 100 mg of demerol and WOW that was strong medicine and worked great and took away the pain quickly, wore off before the 3 hours, wanting another shot. Yes, you could say it was addicting but it was nice to be in an euphoric state before falling asleep. After 3 days, the doctor took me off of the shots and put me on Demerol 100 mg tablets. Upon discharge I was in so much agonizing pain, that the doctor continued with the Demerol and alsop put me on Equagisic, Both combined did the trick, He only ave me 20 days worth and then changed it to Asprin with Codine. Didnt work near as well. Oh, by th

e way the surgery was for deep hemroids and I had to irrigate myself daily and had to go to my doctor every week and two weeks for a whole year. I lived on laxitives for/ that amount of time, more than one kind. It just wouldnt heal and did his best not to put me on a chlostomy bag. After a year, it finally healed. yay, he he. You wouldnt believe this but he was a proctologist and his name was Dr. Foot! Avery nice man and had patience galore. This I laughted at for a very long time. Now I went way off the subject but I had to share this with you as I had time on my hands. Just because we suffer so much with pain, it doesnt mean that we cant lighten up a bit and laugh sometime. like ha ha ha ha and ha,

Now back to reality, I seriously/ have to think about the new nerve stimulators. Not too happy with the one I have so seriously, how o we know what the new ones will be or is it just hype. Its getting late now and I will close, Have a nice day, evening, night or morning wherever you are in this World.

Mel

Hi Mel.  It's late here in AZ -  about 12:45 - typical for me.  I fell asleep around 10:30 and woke up about an hour or so later with my leg hurting. My pain mgmt doctor of over 10 years retired., so I had to go to a new pain mgmt doctor, and they freaked out - oh my God, so much oxycodone and we're cutting the oxycontin. Well, I took the oxycodone during the day and a small amt of oxycontin at night to help me sleep.  So, now I don't sleep.  I have no problem with the PA - you're right - they tend to more patient and explain things more. But I've been going to this place since October, and haven't seen the real doctor yet.  And they want to do an RFA radio frequency ablation - burn the nerves and there's a mix up in their documentation as to which level to do, so I'm insisting on meeting with the doctor before I go through with the RFA.  Kilee is getting the nevro next week.  I am going to follow her and see how it goes for her. Yes, it is funny that you had Dr. Foot up your **s.  Not f unny about that pain for a year. Guess I got a little in trouble with the moderator for tellng people abou tthat people.  I cannot for the life of me figure out how to send a private message. Someone told me to us an "envelope" but I can't find it.  I've seen it sometimes on other people's posts, but I can't find it. Do you know how? Where are you? What time is there?

 

Thanks for the info!  I guess I just don't understand why it is classified as advertising to recommend a book to help people with pain.  I'm not selling it myself or getting any commission or any benefits from it.  But thank you for the info.  I'll use private messages from now on.

Dear Ernis Moderator.  Can you tell me how to send a private message.  Someone said it was in the upper right corner. But all I see is a thing for facebook, one for twitter, and one for google. There a gray box on the upper left corner with a *3 next to it.  I looked in FAQ already and couldn't find the answer there.  Can you please help me?  Thank you.

Thanks Emis Moderator. Finally, I got a response from staff. It is nice to know that I am not the only one that has these types of problems. I can see where the mistakes that are made which I have a part in but mostly it is due to my tablet, It acts weird sometimes either erasing what I wrote or just sends what I have written so far and sending it without my permission, Not only that but when I type on this miniture keyboard which is bluetooth, it does stuff like typing cap when I dont select it, putting in characters I did not type, breaking words in the wrong wayleaving a dangling letter or part of a syllable in the wrong way and not being able to add an apostrophy. Since I dont have my laptop as it has been in repairs forever and the people have excuses all the time I feel that they broke it beyond repait or lost it. They never call me and when I call, they put me on hold all the time as much as a half hour and sometimes disconnected. When I finally get someone,generally I cant understand them as they are overseas somewhere. Meanwhile they try to sell you something you dont want or even a supervisor that is just as bad as the ordinary techs themselves. This happens frequently in now a days, Generally customer service sucks many a time. I do the repairs myself if I can but sometimes I cant. So what does this have to do with your support? Nothing! Its just the frustration what I have to go through each day in getting my computer back and meanwhile trying to communicate with all the people here. Anyway, thanks for your explanation and help.

oh God, not the techs in the Phillipines, India, or God only knows where!  I love my laptop.  I have problems with the keyboard sometimes too.  It's easy to hit the wrong key.  Well take care.

 

Hi Linda,

See http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398331-private-messages

The reference to the upper right is the link to your messages page in the user panel as per the image in this FAQ:

http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398360-user-panel-functionality

If you are not seeing envelopes under each user's avatar like mine or Mel''s let me know what device you are using to post.

Regards,

Alan

Mel,

I know what happened if you are written and you stop and go do something it disappears, I was writing you back was three quarters away down the page and I came back and it was gone so if you leave page open for a period of time it automatically goes away.

I was on everything you can think of and demerol was one of them for over a year so they wean me off them and put me on something else that didn't work but I was on everything you can name, been there done it, until now I'm on methadone and oxycodone diazapam dicoflnec and migraine meds. They keep saying they are gonna take away and I'm like I'll end up in the hospital, its not fair they give the meds for years and than they say oh we have to cut you or put you on something else, I've been on methadone for 20 something years. And if I go to the hospital the think I'm on herion I'm like hell no, I take for pain, so many disrespectful drs who have no clue that drs here in Connecticut USA put patient on it for pain.

You don't have to be a junkie be on it. I hate being judge by drs other people its just so upsetting, they don't why you have a handicap and you get dirty looks or replies.

Living in pain is no happy day!!

I'm hoping everyone is somewhat pain free,

This cold is killing me.

Take care

Cynthia ( cindy)

Hi Cynthia,

I know you were writing to Mel, but I just sure can relate to what you are talking about.  I've been on everything too.  I had a docor put me on methadone and it sure took away the pain - I felt normal again - but my kids freaked out that I was a drug addict so I stopped taking it cold turkey - had no idea I would go into withdrawal.  I ended up being taken by ambulance to the hospital where I was treated like a drug addict and then sent to rehab.  I got put on suboxone which worked okay but of course my insurance wouldn't cover it. So then I ended up on oxycodone and oxycontin for the night so I could sleep plus tizanidine which I was on for 4 years, and then my doctor closed his office, so I started with a new pain clinic and they freaked out a.t my dosage. So they've lowered it, taken away my oxycontin, so now I can't sleep.  It is awful being treated by your friends and family like you're a drug addict.  I've had 5 back surgeries not counting 2 neurostimulator implants and 2 failed fusions.  And people don't understand that you are truly in pain. 

I'm supposed to have my rfa on Feb 10 and i insisted on an appt with the doctor first becaus they seem to be confused about which levels to do.

Take care, get over your cold soon.

Linda

Weird, today they are all showing up.  Thanks for all of your help and advice.

andda,

I've been on the methadone for 19 or 20 something years now, so I'm used to it but I to ended up in an ambulance because my w/c didn't want to pay and the hospital treated me like crap I was crying n said does this look like a junkie and pulled open my gown with all the scars, got my lawyer involved I couldn't believe the response I got from everyone from the hospital, cause I could I'd sued for saying I was something I wasn't, Dr gave me a shot and a # to a methadone clinic, well he had to personally call me for his behavior and apologized to me so I wouldn't sue, and I fell down my landlord stairs 3 years ago same thing happened Dr came in asking my how long I was an addict, called my big b/f at the time and had him in the corner yelling at him, than they came in after 4 hours on a gurney and having to pee, and finally gave me respect that every human should get when in pain, my lawyer called that Dr he came in and apologized about 5 times but boy did they move after that, sorry to say I was embarrassed cause they made me wait so long I peed the bed how degrading is that? Ended up having a fusion on my neck cause of that fall, long story short handrail in apartment were sanded and had shiny stuff on it slid down them doing about 20m.p.h i felt like in the cartoons with the birds, well the stairs were all messed up and foot sank into the carpet which was my bad foot and it was all over. Most painful pain after that one, they had to put so much weight on my neck to pull apart everything I woke up crying it was almost 25 pds on my neck, the most my Dr ever seen, I am a train wreck, from Neck to back and all the procedures down in 20 years I had them all, n this nervo was the worst mistake ever, its off thank god, just want it out now, well that's my whole story, but I am still on methadone it works the best for me 60mg a day oxycodone for break through pain diazapam for nerves plus migraine meds is frovo and zanaflex too oh and dicoflnec I think that's how it is, but I had every single drug they can put one person on, also have fibromialga tough time getting that right too, plus with this migraine brain doesn't want to work, well that's my life in a nutshell, but I feel ya on the sleep I need my meds but I'm lucky if I get 2/3 hours a night of sleep before pain sets in.

To all my friends I made on this site a few have gotten me through some tough times, and I hope they are doing OK, graham and mark, thinking about my buds!

Well take care Linda and I hope you make the right choice too, as for me nervo didn't work and battery site still hurts and in the cold weather my back hurts so bad my leg starts to drag and the pain!! No good.

Best of luck keep in touch

Cynthia ( cindy) from Connecticut

Gosh Cynthia, I read your story and I just cringe.  I just have the back not the neck. I don't know, I think the neck must be worse.  I may try methadone again. New pain doctors slow to do anytning but cut my pain meds. I'm really hurting tonight because they said I had to go see a psychiatrist to get my trazadone approved by my ins. Never went before. I use a cab servce because of the neuropathy in my right foot - too painfu to drive. The people at the headquarters or whatever gave me the wrong address for the psychiatrist, so this cab brought me so far, and said I can't bring you the rest of the way because they won't pay me - it's 6 more miles, you have to call for approval.  I asked his name and he refused to give it to me. I said I wont' get out of the cab til you give me your name and he started calling the cops. So I got out of the cab and he j ust left me. Called the cab company and they sent a 2nd cab out with the wrong address.  He brought me across the street and dumped me. Called the cab company again  - still at wrong address - have been stranded - this operator * witch with a capital B said they wo't send any more cabs - I'm on my own to get the remaining 6 miles  I was crying - having been stranded twice, I finally got a ride the other 6 miles, but over an hour late for the appt, so missed it.  Had to go home from there.  I was stranded sitting on a curb nearly 2 hours and my back is killing me.  I finally got the book I had ordered, and apparently lost it somewehre along the way.  My back can't take these kind of things.  The cab company can track down the drivers, I put in a huge complaint against the first one.  Doubt I can sleep much tonight with my back.  I usually fall asleep for an hour or so after taking my muscle relaxer, but that's about it. 

Hi Linda:

Yes, defnately overseas and most of the time it is in the countries you mentioned. Even thee supervisor is from tzhere too. Do you know how many times I hadd to disconnect because of lack of understanding and broken English? I dont blame them as they try and usually pleasant but it becomes very frustrating to repeat over and over and constantly to ask them to go slower. When they feel lik I am being a pest, I get hung up on. What happened to customer ervice in the USA? Almost non existent. Anyway, on to another topic,

You asked me about me so here goes. I live in a surburban area near Seattle. I am elderly like 76. Married with 2 daughters, one here and one in So. CA. I live in a senior community which is very nice but too expensive. I drive for now but soon will not. I have memory problems and get lost easily. My primary is referring me to a Neurologist. I also have nerve damage by having various tests and have been diagnosed incorrectly. I was told I have CIPD which is an autoimmune disease where my nerves are being further damaged as well as the sheath that protects th nerves. I sometimes pass out sitting on th toilet and banging my head 2 times on the loor. Fortunately, I did not have s cuncussion. I have bumps on my forehead to show. Maybe I can post a picture. My wife just had cataract surgery on both eyes and now has middle stage macular degeneration but still in the dry stage and i worse now than first deteted. If it goes wet, then it bcomes more serious and could lose her peripheral vision classisied as blind, I hope that does not happen. With her other distresting sympttoms she is a mess. Me too. 0( Wer are caretakers for both of us. We still hobble around and enjoy our life to the most possible. Now. you are probably wondering why I am being so personal about this. I feel I have nothing to hide and lots to gain. Of course I would rather say that I was just in severe pain like everybody does. Fortunately here is a great service provided by this outreach even located in Great Britain. There are not many that provide these services. Thereb are a few but not extensive as this one. People here seem to be so much more in depth but I bet you can hardly find someone such as myself to be more candid and tell it like it is. It does take guts to do this. I dont mind others reading this as it is me and trying to b3 honest of my felinggs. I dont want to offend anyone and I dont believe I did. If I went to the extream then I am sorry. What i do her is therapy for me because I like to help others with what they feel and the pain they endure. If I can help them to find a way to be supportive then that is my goal. I enjoy conversing with others and I feel likewise some can do the same if they want to. I also feel there is no pressure to do so. My goal then is to be an adfvocate and eventually earn a place here. The only thing I am afraid of that I may get bso many responses that it would be hard to answer them quickly. Using a tablet is inhiibitive to typing fast and prone to errors because of many glitches. If I get back my laptop from repairs which affter 2 months which I doubt so then this will be the only means of responding. If this tablet gos bonkers then I still have my cell which even has a much smaller screen but may do the trick for awhile. In no way, shape, or form I will ever ask for anthing but just for your understanding and support. Fortunately I feel I can write well so many others will understaned. I will never expect anyone that will feel awekward to contact me. I have an open mind and open heart.

There, that said and done. So how about you, linda? MY best to you always.

Your friend,

Mel

Hi CCindy:

I cannot belive this happened to you. How unfortunate that you had to endure this kind of disrespect and treatment that you received. This prooves that people are not kind, considerate and have feelings for others. Of course I feel that this is not the majority of people. Many do come across as kind, considerate and certainly have feelings for others. Just look here, people who are hurting who is at a hospital maybe in ER who is in so much pain wanting relief. For doctors and nurses ho have no regard for a persons wellbing should not work in the medical field. I am very candid about this. Of course you encounter patients that are disrespectful. always complaining, making strange noises, advances to nurses. etc., then nursing becomes a chore. Sometimes they do have bad days, get up on the wrong side of the bed and who knows whats els. Sometimes doctors are the same way. Still it is their job and do the best they can. To be continued so I dont losee this.

Well, Mel, I'm 61. I was hurt in a car accident 2003 by a lady that ran a red light and totaled my car. Messed up my back, Inept surgeons and doctors have done most of the damage I think. First it was chiropractors who did all kinds of crap before I convinced them to get an MRI, then they wouldn't touch me. Inept doctors who have removed half a disc and then didn't know what to do so just left it and bone spurs. A "top of the line" surgeon who caused permanent nerve damage to my left femoral nerve - causing some of the worst pain I have, pain management doctors who don't care, In the US, pain management doctors don't believe in pain killers - hardly - and treat you like a drug addict, family who doesn't believe you when you say you are in pain, employers who have no sympathy or understanding, insurance companies who screw you out of your long term disability income.  All of the reasons you started out with an injury that could have been managed and now you end up in chronic pain, laying in bed all day with an active boyfriend who  tries to be understanding, but still doesn't get it.  Oh, if you would just lose weight, or go walking more, y ou would get better. I've ended up with no income, lost my house, living with my boyfriend (who really is great for the most part), on food stamps and the public welfare system for health insurance.  Can't play with my grandkids who are  12 and 2. I can't drive because of the neuropathy in my right foot.  I'm scared to death what happens if my 67 year old boyfriend dies. My daughter promises to take care of me, but she is not good at promises.  My biggest fear is ending up in a nursing home with workers who don't give a damn and losing my freedom and dignity. Honestly, I don't talk about this stuff, I hold it in - so this is a purge since you asked. I have 3 major areas of pain - my right foot - neuropathy, my left thigh with the deep aching and burning from the femoral nerve damage, and of course my back - 5 back surgeries - 2 failed fusions, and now they say just leave it because no one wants to touch it any more.  I don't cry anymore because what's the point? I am a Christian, but feel abandoned and unworthy. So I guess I'm not a good one. I have no faith in doctors anymore. I got into this forum because the new neurosurgeon wants to put in a Nevro Sensa but won't answer any questions. I'm scared of it. I try to be upbeat and helpful to others. When I read about people like you and Cynthia it scares me more. When I read about things like your CIPD, I selfishly tthink, Oh God, is that going to happen to me too? I try to be upbeat, but mainly because I can't give in to the fear, the pain, the negativity. So there, how's that for honesty?

P.S. In my previous life, I got a master's degree in Computer Information Systems with a 4.0 and taught as an adjunct professor at CSU.  I resent that life was taken away from me years ago.

 

Unfortunately patients have to sometimes receive their misgivings. Its not the patients fault as they are there for a reason. When it comes to th point whre an attorney teps in to rectify the situation or possibly the hospital being sued, the the matter becomes serious. No hospital wants a law suit so the attorney is on the side of the patient. It is smart that the hospital understands this and rectify the situation. It is so much simpler that things can be done on a local basis. Because of this fiasco, the doctor and hospital was pressured to give you the care that you deserve. When a doctor personalĺy contacts you and admit they done wrong and express their apology, you won. He either felt guilty or he was pressured to do so. I ratheer him or her fel guilty. It was fortunate that no incident was further developed. Thankful youb had a lawyer. Most people dont. I was also called lots of things by a most terribible, irrisponsible and had an attitude complex. The pain doctor I went to was unresponsive to my concerns. Not only that but he was beligerent as well= toward me. He wanted to take me off all pain meds and instead put me on amtrypteline or Nortrypteline (not sure of spelling) and another type of med not considered a pail pill. I forgot the name of it but it is used for nerve diseases or neuropathy. He said pain pills are narcotics and you can be addicted to them. Duh! Like I didnt know that and tried to assure him that you dont get addicted unless you take more than the prescribed dose. I also told him that I have been on pain med for 20 years and that I am not addicted. That he didnt waant to hear. In so many wors he said that he was the doctor and you dont tell me what I should or should not do! I felt so low at this point and I had to gather my composure before I say anything. After he left the room, I needed to have some questions asked. The nurse at first wouldnt call him back so I insisted that she have the doctor come back. I waited a long while but he never returned, The nurse ame back and told me the doctor was busy and no anwer other than that was given. I then asked a second time and a 3rd time with no results. I asked for a prescription and was told that his PA woul give me it. As I soon saw her, she was beastly looking and hadf the same attitude like the doctor. In a gruff voice she said that I am going to give you what the doctor ordere. I told her that I have been on worthless pain meds for 20 years which didnt help. She ba

I called attorneys about the doctor who screwed up my back fusion and caused the femoral nerve damage. None of them understood it and didn't want my case. My doctor never admitted any wrong.

 

barked out accusing me that in addition to what I was getting, she should give me more pain pills at a higher dose. I said not true and I wont be taking the other pills which was hydrocodone with tylenol at 5/350mg which is the lowet dose you can take. Then she accused me of being a drug abuser and said that you are committing a crime and you can be arrested for that. Sh left and told the doctor that and coming back right to my face told me that I am not going to be treated here by tthis doctor and to go somewhere else. I gulped and argued with her and I did like to have called her a scummy bitch or worse. SHe deserved every bit of it. I hated her for accusing me and I wanted so bad to retaliate in some way. Not giving me a chance, she left the room. To barge in the doctors office would have been futile. Maybe I would have to be arrested but it didnt go that far. When I was leaving there were a few patients waiting for their appointments. I turned around to face them and told them if anyone here was going to see dr so and so, your in ffor a surprise and told them to seek another doctor somewhere else. That goes for the PA as well. Not only they suck but the staff as well. People there were gaping, eyes wide opened and looking at me intently. Igleered at the front desk and smirked at them and left. Now I wanted to report them but I didnt. I was going to write them but I would never get an answer. If I knew an attorney or already had one, I might have pursued a law suit for threatening me as welle as being defamed. Since that was not the case, I couldnt afford one and it would have been stupid to do so as more than likely nothing would become of it.

I know, I painted a bleak picture of the medical profession at the time as having doctors such as this one practicing medicine and his unthoughtful PA. You know and I know this goes on a lot. Maybe not to every patient but some. Sometimes wre are at the wrong place at the wrong time. We dont know what will happen when w are confronted with a situation such as this. A lot of factors are played in. So, in essence just try to make the best of it and chalk it up as an experience. Its not worth getting aggrvated over this anyway. i learned a lot after that timee and becamr a better person bcause of this. By the way the next pain doctor I saw was nice, friendly, took time to tell you the results of tests, answer all questions that I had and I put my trust in him. He gave me the pain meds that was supposed to be given and altered them for the bst possible dose plus he prscribed painthru meds as well. This is a ddoctor worth havingg and they are out there. Still it is unfortunate that it doesnt work miracles as everbody feels pain differently. Pain cannot be compared to each person. It is personal. I will now get off

of my soapbox and I am sorry to say that I accidentally hit the report button on my own story. That was a mistake on my part. Forgive me for it. Anyway I do hope all is well and take care.

Mel

Mel, you inspired me.  I just went and wrote a devasatingly truthful review of the the horrors of the 3 surgeries that my surgeon did (over a 2 days period) and the results.  I'm so mad, I forgot to say that my new doctor gasped when she saw my back - she says it looks like it's been butchered and they were some of the worst scars she's ever seen.  Of course, I've not only had 5 back surgeries, I've also had 2 neurostimulators put in on 2 different occasions.

So, thanks for getting me off my butt and doing something about it even though I couldn't find an attorney to take my case.

 

Hi Linda:

Thanks for sharing. You went through so much pain in your life and I am sorry that it happened. After the accident you were really messed up physically. It takes just one situation to a person such as yourself to really cause all kinds of problms. Not only that but it caused you other problms such as being in a mental frame of mind. With all the pain you went through, is it no wonder why you would be depressed, Everyone I talked to suffered from deprssion. Look what it did to you. The agony of pain day in and day out and not able to function is so defeating. What irks me is that people who never experienced it, dont understand and ridicules you. Saying, oh you will get over it or there are people worse off than you or your always keep complaining or something to that effect really shows no feelings. They not only dont understand but not listen to you either, always jumping to conclusions like they know what it is all about. Its so wrong. To have the medical profession doing the same thing is uncalled for. They should know better. Agencies wont listen and never be on your side. Its always something to make excuses. Let them be in our boat! Surgeons want to operate as that is their profession and livelyhood, sometimes doctor runs tests that you dont need which can be costly. Unfortunately todays medicine differs greatly than the old time doctors. New doctors who complete their schooling part of their course is knowing to to take down everything on a computer and not practice real medicine. When I had my last physical all that was done was taaking your temp, blod pressure, pulse ox to see if you are breathing, listening to your heart and looking down your throat. They ask you this and that, record your med that you take, enter data into the computer, ask if you have questions and give you blood tests. You tell the doctor that you have other problems and they may investigate it but tell you we hav to wait until th tsts come back. They always ask you what refills you need.To do a good full exam doesnt happen. Then the second appointment

They prescribe more tess and then refer you to this and that doctor. You never know if you are going to the right one and hopefully you will like the doctor as well as liking you. Its all about balnce. I do find that if a doctor does like you, they will treat you better and spend more time with you. The doctor I have now is just that. Likes both me and my wife. spends more time with us and jokees around. These are the older doctors who understands how to examine and really explains things. You dont find much of these doctors anymore. I think you mentioned about marijuana. Its legal in WA but you have to get a crtificate and pay $125.00 for it, generally referred by your doctor and go to 1 followup for guidance. In otherwords there is got to be a reason nd then you are free to buy it. I dont know what the medical marijuana costs per month but I bt it is not cheap. In this State you can grow your own up to 6 plants. Then it would be a lot chaper over the long run. Of course setting it up requires some expense and have to know how to process it. Most every shop I talked to, the prson was very friendly and wants your business. They also explain everything that you can understand. Of coursee you know that the crtificate will save you from the FEDS when you travel out of state where pot is illegal. I dont intend to smoke it but either cook with food or snacks and some you put on your tongue which is liquid form. Th on I would go for is the liquid which helps with the pain and while Im at it have an euphoric experience. This I can laugh about. THere are other things that I can write here but I will save it for later. Be well, try to have a smile and keep your chin up. Thhere is not much more to ask. Bye for now.

Mel

Yeah, you really get disenchanted over the years. When someone comes into this forum and asks a question about a new pain or injury, I fight back the urge to tell them their life will never be the same. Once your back is up, these doctors can't fix it.  It's rare to find a good doctor who actually cares, listens, and knows what he's doing. 

Linda,

That is such a horrible story!! Omg! I can't believe they did that to you, that is so sad that people have no sympathy for the handicap, he should of did it out of his heart the rest of the way regardless what would of happened, or if he didn't get paid, my god have some heart, so sorry to hear that, I still drive very little its to much and I'm so scared since I can't really turn my neck to the right I feel like its best I get rides, but sometimes I just want to go, hate having to wait for people, I am so sorry to hear about that nightmare, I hope you get a nap or relax today, I've been noticing my ankles are getting really stiff with all the arthritis, I can hardly bend them when I get up out of bed, another problem to tell the PA when I go back to the Dr's, I never get to see him and by law I'm supposed to see him every 6 months. I don't know how they get around it.

But I hope you get your meds back cause I know I need the same ones at night. Like you few hours if that I think I wake up after an hour every night. It's tough living in pain, and feeling alone, I'm so happy to find people with the same problems as I, I thought I was all alone.

Thanks for the reply speak to you soon.

Cynthia(cindy)

Hope you feel better today

Linda,

Totally agree on that, I tried to on the first doctor and my attorney at the time did not want it and waited for the statue of limitations to run out to only get six months to get another lawyer and fight again, so at the end I'm screwed for life and the Dr and the pt place get to have a normal life and I'm suffering since I was 25 -26 years old and my life just past me by cause of pain, but I do not hate no one or any or that is was it is and there is nothing I can do but try and live life to the fullest.

Cynthia (cindy)

Mel,

Like I said to Linda I'm not bitter about what happened it is what it is, I just try my best to live it the best I can, I know I'm gonna have pain aches and bad days but I know someday hopefully I will be able to do more than what I do now, sometimes it's depressing but I try to smile and push forward, thats what my cards I was dealt and I'm dealing with it, I try my best to be polite to everyone even if I'm hurting, I put that smile on my face and push forward!

Take care talk soon

Cynthia (cindy)

I honestly cant believe that you weer treated this way. When GOD handed out hearts, maybe he didnt want some people not to get it. I am not sure if I should laugh at this or not. Its very sad that people either dont want to reach out or are afraid to do so. I feel sorry for them as they are missing out on a human thing to do.. Many close friend are made that way who can share their sorrows and good things as well. I would imgine it is their upbringing as a child to adolesence. There has to be love in the family and show they care. I had a very hard time growing up because their was no love and myself suffered from it as having psychological problems in my 30s. Both my parents were brutal towards me psychological as well as physical. Being punished constantly caused me problems later in life. It affected my self esteem and was uunable to function in life. That was a long time ago and have improved quite well. I never forgave my father beecause off what he did. Maybe that is part of the reason my back is a mess from beating me with his fists. Today I still have a hard time to forgive =him as I must in order to have more peace. I will never forgive him what he has done to me. I should write a personal letter t`o hin showing how I feel. Maybe that will help me to forgive him as he did no know what love is. He died quite number of yars ago and I had no remorse. All that happened is I madee a horrifying sound as moaning. Maybe it was relief to me. Anyway that is where I come from. I never wanted to be like him and became a more compassionate and caring person.

By the way, not only having a high degree from a good university and holding a 4.0 average is great. Bring an eucator at a good university is great too. The unfortunate accident that you had, not only being able to teach but suffering from agonizing pain and disability has caused tou much distress. That you didnt deserve. What was the end result of the accident? What happned to her? I will cut this a little short. Be good, know that I am here for you, and you can share anything you want to with me. Thanks again for being so honest and your feeelings show it. Take care, feel good, have faith and eventually better things will come your way.

Bye,

Mel

Dear Mel,

You and I are of an older generation. We came from a childhood where parents got away with beating their children.  I too came from a horrific childhood.  I could write a book.  My oldest brother died of leukemia when I was 4. My parents had 4 other children. Don't know why since they hated children. I became the oldest of 5. At the age of 12, I becamse responsible for my younger brothers and sisters while my parents went out to drink. If the house was not spotless when they arrived home at 2 in the morning, I was dragged out of bed and beaten.  My mother slapped me constantly, sometimes for "practice" as she said.  I was called every name under the sun. The worst thing I think was when my mother dragged me out of bed at 2 in the morning, dragged me across our front yard by my hair and tried to throw me into the ditch because that's "where I belonged". I had a wonderful grandmother who was my role model.  Her maiden name was Kelly, and after my divorce, I took my grandmother's maiden name  My mother apologized to me once in her life, when I was about 45. I forgave her instantly.  My mother was pathologically imbalanced.  I too went had problems witih self-esteem.  As a teenager, I thought I was the ugliest person in the world. My mother forbid me to go to college after high school.  So as an adult, I did.  I never hit my children, or called them names, but I did lose my temper with them, which haunts me to this day. Fortunately, my youngest daughter and I are very close, and my oldest daughter - who clashed with me - we get along okay.  I had a very happy time as an adult, but went through a bad divorce along the way, but forgave my ex-husband as well, which gave me peace.  So I would say I have peace now, and I am happy with my boyfriend of 16 years. We've both been married twice before, have adult children, and grandchildren, and are happy with our modern status of "partners".  I am polite and kind to people, I try to be a good  Christian, but feel I fall short in that dept, but I know that God is a loving God and a forgiving God. I regret not being able to do the things I used to do, and I try not to give into feeling depression and giving up because I have lost so much faith in doctors.  They are recommending the Nevro for me, but I don't hold out much hope for it.  That's the word - hope - I am trying to hold out for hope.

 

Hi Cynthia,

I've had a couple of cat naps today.  My back is still paying the price for sitting on a curb almost 2 hours yesterday.  I made sure I got in my complaint against the driver.  I'm having to cut my pills in half to stretch them until Tuesday when I can get a refill.  I'll make it but it will be a rough weekend.  I don't normally get this low, but the trip at Christmas cost me dearly, I ended up taking extra while I was there. The hard part is when I have to take meds in the middle of the night because that comes out of my daytime meds.  I had to start going to a new pain center in Oct because my doctor closed his office.  I haven't seen the real doctor yet, just PA's.  I have an appt with him Feb 4 though because I finally demanded it.  Then the RFA is scheduled for the next week, but I may delay that after talking to the doctor.  I want to try the Nevro but scared after your experience, and the neurosurgeon I met was an ***ss.

Did I tell you I hand out brownies and snacks and popsicles to the kids in the neighborhood, and I just love them dearly.  They bring a smile to my day.

Woo hoo Mel, I got a badge - most supportive of the day.  I'll add it to my collection.

Dear Linda:

It seems like we basically grew up the same way.  Of course ours differ in a few places.  The difference between your father and mine is that mine wasnt an alcholic or I dont think he was.  The only time is when his brother and my father went to an Elks lodge meeting for their social encounters and having a few.  At least I never seen him with a bottle in his hands. He had 6 brothers and 6 sisters and all his brothers were mean b*st*rds.  I once visited m

his mother and father who was living in an upstairs apt over a shop not more than 20 ft from an El in a scummy neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY.  Every time the train passed the whole building would shake and that was frequent.  Since they were immigrants, they settled in a Ghetto.  They came from Poland before the WW 2.  At rhe time, Hitler was coming into power and left when there were still a little freedom.  Now I see what my father went through.  Both of his parents were so brutal towards his children and no love whatsoever, is it no wonder how he turned out to be miserable as they were.  I came to theconclusion that he didnt know how to love.  My mother was the same way.  This I  was unable to understand as her mother  was the sweetest woman ever.  My granddmother loved me and I loved her.  My mother changed because of my father as he was always putting her down and calling her stupid havinga stupid, worthless and brainless son, ME!   I have a brother 4 years younger who almost died  because of a severe heart attack.  He recovered and doing pretty well. My brother did run away from home as he detested his father and would have killed him.  I on the otherhand would keep everything in and I always feared my father.  One day he almost killed me from a severe beating.  The strao was always out ready to whip my ass and bare too.  You could never reason with him or bad mouth him.  So you see thats why I grew up depressed  and constantly had to have psychological counseling, in and out of treatment centers and psychiatrists gave me the wrong medicine like what is used for bi polar .  I cant think of the name of it at this time.  I was  also given tranquilizers and those two made  e freq out destroyed all of my stuff, almost popped a bunch of pills and had to take me to a locked ward in the VA hospital.  The doctors there took me off of the meds and said I was not bi polar.  I became a sane person afterwards.  Not only mis diagnosis but bad medicine can do you in.  Whan I was an adolescent, I was put on Ritalin during the day so I could function and a barbituate at night so I could xalm down and sleep.  There it is.  My life!  I do believe that some of my pain is due to the severe beatings but spinal stenosis, I dont know.  All i do know is that has messed up my life.  Now I am at the point that I have to forgive him or I will carry this burden forever.  That is why the letter is very important for me to write.  As far as my faith is concerned, I was a Christian, baptised in the ocean, went to churce every Sunday, volunteered my services but  after 8 years I fell away. I believe in GOD wholeheartedly but have trouble with true acceptance of Jesus.  I want ti go ba k believing and have peace in my life.  I was looking into progressive Christianity but I dont know much about it.  They do believe in Jesus but not the same way as him being the trinity.  I keep an open mind and deal with everyday activities. I try not to focus on my pain as there are better things to do.  Whew!  Thats it for now.  Have a nice day, take care and everything will be alright     and the whole World smiles with you.

we have developed a pen pal relationship and glad we did.

mel

 

Mel,

My gosh, I can relate to some of it, cause growing up in the 70's we got hit, but me being the baby so I got away with all of crap, ha-ha I'm one of 6 I understand what you are saying but I will always forgive people who hurt or do me wrong cause I know one day they will get theirs, but in your case I can't blame you, for what he did to you is so inhumane, I never understood that behavior, and in the news we still see it so I just think some people are wired wrong if you know what I mean, like I said I do my best not to get to mad with my hand I was dealt I guess with my heart of gold, it makes me see good in the bad and hoping one day someone will understand the pain I live in, every long term boyfriend never could understand it, I got hurt at work filing on a concrete floor for 3 hours, when I got up I felt like I pulled a muscle finished out the day, went home took a hot shower put a heating pad on n fell asleep, by a.m I went to stand up and on the ground I went the pain was so unbearable I had to crawl to the phone to call work and from that day forward it just got worse, mind you I was a medical biller and coder and I loved my job, so from there on I tried everything under the sun for my back til I went to p.t. and the girl put me in the pool in front of a powerful jet as she watched general hospital and eating her apple she threw that switch and that was the day my world changed, she blew my disc into my back and on my bladder I was a mess, she said oh sh*t and turned it off and had to put me in a lift chair to get me out of pool and than that's when I couldn't walk and started peeing myself right there, I don't know how I even drove myself home and crawled up the front stairs where my sister picked me up and brought me in the house, called Dr told him what happened and I had to call my boyfriend at the time to take me in for an emergency discetomy, and after that a year of burning sensation down my back, butt to my leg which I was told by this workers comp Dr that I was crazy and nuts, finally got 2nd opinion and a year to the day I had the fusion done, but as I said I had everything done under the sun for the pain in my back and leg, the Dr tried to fix the nerve in a ganglionectomy but it didn't work, so I lost all feeling in the left leg, I still have the worse pain on my left side but its nerves and it feels like its in my bones I hurt so bad I said I wish I could just have it cut off thats how bad it gets, and ever since I got the nervo senza stimulator it is painful like no tomorrow, just to stand and wash dishes it hurts so bad I had to sit down for a half hour before trying to get up the stairs to go to bed, I do now its all nerve damage and I'm a failed fusion plus all the different arthritis I have, you name it I have it, now I am starting to have problems with my ankles, when I get up the are so stiff I can hardly walk, so that is pretty much my back story. I will tell you my neck story in the next email, but I try every day to smile and to be polite if I go out, I do my best to live this life with a smile saying I have a heart of gold that one day I will be rewarded with no pain I will keep pushing forward causes I can blame that one or this one but where is it going to get me, so I just smile and try my best to be happy, because if you are miserable than you will be in more pain, so I put that smile on some days its a struggle but I do it! I'm not giving up!

Take care and I will tell you my neck tomorrow.

Have a good night and try to smile!

Cynthia ( cindy)

Mel, I wrote you a book, but for some reason its being blocked I didn't swear, I know I said crap, they are to much.

Hopefully you can see it if not I will private message you.

Cynthia

Wow, Cynthia, that's horrible.  I wonder if that girl has any idea how much pain she has caused you.   I'm so sorry you went through this.  All I know is that in heaven there is no pain, no suffering.  Good for you for not being bitter.  I know that each day is a struggle for you. But we can't give up.  That's for sure.  I think people from our generation are stronger because of all that we have gone through.  Take care.

Linda