I am definitely terminally ill!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

Can't cope no more.

Suffered anxiety round my early teens. Reached its peak at 16. At 18 got better, seemed to almost go away. Turn 22 and it's back from no where. Had a few days of bloating belly ache and I have a panic attack. From then I feel sick, tired, down, I have constant upper belly discomfort. To top it off had a scare back in Novmeber about ovarian cancer (all came back clear) diagnosed with polystic ovaries. I am in constant discomfort in the upper part of my belly and round my ribs. It feels tight - almost like it feels when your reaching your peak doing belly exercises. My belly seems to twitch lots. I'm constantly thinking about my belly. To top it off all I seem to hear about at the minute is bwoel cancer, liver cancer, pancreatic cancer and bile duct cancer. I literally can't relax. I feel guilty if I am ill, for getting ill and putting it on my children. I feel like crying all the time. I've had ultrasounds, bloods, dr feeling belly, stool sample, internal camera by gyna. I just don't know what to do!

My gps next step is a endoscopy which I've just read about and I am absolutely out my mind. I dorm like being put to sleep incase I didn't wake up but the thought of being awake is a close feeling too! Then I look up complications and that's it I can barely breath thinking I'm defiantly going to be in the small percentage of people who have them.

I don't even know what the post is for jsut need to get it out! Feel free to comment

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    I have had anxiety since u was 18 and I'm 33 now. 5 months ago I started having panic attacks which I have never had and I didn't know what they were. I was so scared and have been convinced ever since something serious is wrong and can't get it out of my head. I don't feel like myself at all I feel like a different person. I cry everyday and feel like i can't do anythingsad I don't want to leave the house. It started with sever pains in my side going to my back it happened for 4 months and I was convinced I had ovarian cancer to the point I was scared to get an ultrasound. I got it done and it was fine the dr said I was having ovarian cysts that we rupturing I knew when the pain was going to come evry month. Then I thought I had kidney cancer, then pancreatic cancer then uterine cancer. Then I had breakdown and started to get all these other symproms muscle twitches everywhere tingling tight burning sensations felt week panic attacks feeling faint and lightheaded lost 15 lbs bc I have no appetite the list goes on and I was convinced I had leukemia lung cancer and ms. It is never ending I can't cope anymore and I just want to feel like myself again and I don't see an endsad
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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply! In a way it's good other people are going through it at the same time as not wanting anyone to go through it!

      Thing is when I sit for a second and deep breath and relax I can alsmost feel this discomfort subside.

      That was my first panic attack back in Novmeber. It was from my sleep. I woke up shot up and was unable to breath. Didn't last to long not as long as some people have them. I have a lot of shoulder and neck aches aswel. I'm adiment my symptoms are from something major than anxoety causing them. I haven't been through anything major for anxoety to show its ugly head which makes things a lot harder

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    • Posted

      To me , it seems like you have health anxiety, which is something that I also struggle with. Listen, it sucks, but your doctors are trained professionals. They know best in these situations, and the understand what tests need to be run. It took me a long time to accept that, but I eventually did.

      Your health is out of your hands. You have spoken to your doctors and you have taken the appropriate steps. That's all you can do at this point. Any anxiety at this point just takes away from your own life and takes you away from your children.

      Think about the happier moments in your life, and try to get back to those. It's hard but you can do it.

      If you need anything, keep posting on this forum or send me a PM. 

      All the best.

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    • Posted

      Thank you

      My belly just constantly feels off all over really.

      I'm so fed up.

      I have told my gp as I'm worried he wil just put my symptoms down to anxoety and not test further.

      I haven't told no one else. Not my partner mums no one.

      I feel I'm silly for feeling this way and quite embarrassed

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  • Posted

    Let me tell y'all my story because it might just help... My baby is now turning three soon.. After I had her about two months after I started having yellowish bowels... I went to my doctor and he did bloodwork.. My levels came out abnormal so told me to ask my OB if it was because I had just had baby... The a fully doctor was it of town so I saw nurse practitioner who said NO! That's when my life changed... I started having test after test.. Googling my symptoms which made it worse... I started getting symptoms I had never had before... Tingling and numbness all over body... Pain in my ribs and abdomen.. Pins and needles in my head along with headaches... I mean I had so many symptoms and tests done and everything was negative... I started getting sharp pains in my breast... Got mammogram.. Negative! Got a CT scan of brain .. Negative... Went back for my follow up appt with my OB doctor for baby... Saw actual Doctor this time and he said he could've saved me all the stress that it was because of the baby my results came out positive.... One mistake by a doctor and now I have health anxiety plus panic attacks and I'm a big worrier now... Please people don't underestimate what stress can do to your body and if you stress and start googling YOUR brain will tell you that you are feeling those symptoms and you will... It's ALL stress... Anxiety plus depression and stress can do so much to us.. I google myself.. I think I have IBS cause I've had abnormal bowels for years... And lately I'm having tailbone pain it's a dull pain that I've had for days and it won't go away... Another NP told me you don't get pain in lower back from IBS but I read it does and a lot of people say you do... So of course I started worrying and googling... I had to stop myself please don't google... And you can get so many symptoms from stress
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