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iVE HAD IT!!!! I dont know where to turn , I really can honestly say I have tied my hands to this computer as I feel so gutted, out of control and ready to do me in. Even if ppuke bins this , I dont care, Ill just pretend I am doing my application forms and keep typing otherwise I dont know where I am goint to end. I am so tired of everything, everyone, I dont wnat to see my doctor for his phrases that stick in my head \"Ithinki you know the way\", Pfff well (doh!) Id have real problems If I didnt. Then theres my cpn - who just seeems to do all the talking and bugger offf on holiday , ALL THE TIME. and theres is me........there is nothing wrong with me, yeah yeah, thats why I cant cope, drink like I dont know what and take lots of laxatives. dont speak to anyone, cry all the time, hate me, and everyone (apart from my kids) but even recently they seem tooo much!!!!!!! I started shouting at a man today - who nearly whacked my daughter with the car dooor(he was too busy smoking a fag and not looking. So I shouted it back, normally I would not, normally I would just sigh and be grateful that she okay, but not this time.\"LOOK YOU LUNATIC, YOU NEARLY KNOCKED HER OUT......yOUR TOO BUSY SMOKING THAT SMELLY FAG TO GIVE A DAM.......\" :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: sO HE POLITLEY SAYS\"i BEG YOU PARDON?\" I think F off\" In my head......but just left it at that....then realised that he probably never saw Becca as she is smalll and does not recjh above the car door. So calm down .............god what is happening to me?
I cant face walking into my filthy kiitchen to calen all there dishes (ohg sorry as my partner so kindly puts it....my dishes.) This is the wonder for me....how did I get thro last year ......how did I cope with him? My part time job? My mum being so ill? mY dad not talking and getting invvolved? My ex sister in law giving me the where are there wellies? And my maths course? and all that stuff all his physical and finacila and I am not going to put the other one down here Ill throw up!!!!! I have had relatives vvery close to me die and got over it quicker than this ???????. If only my grandad was here????? He used to look after me when I was at nursery and infant school....then he got a girlfriend and ( oh he makes me laugh and cry) moved in to a caravan??????? I like his take on life???He never took it too seriously- yup grandad your still here arent you?????Just dont tkae it all so seriously and youll be fine ....go and get what you deserve? Okay grandad....I am going for a sleep then ill do my application.
Signing of now.
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