I am so upset and annoyed at THE WORLD!!!!

Hi boog100 - yesterday- lost my rag - went mental/mad screaming and now my throat is sore. Thought I was calmer yest too - but honestly, thought that this had stopped - but no Katy absolutely lost it as there was a piece of paper on the living room floor.

After my shouting with me - I then washed the children , and what did we find? Great - feck- headlice -again!!!!!!!! So was exhausted. After that scenario, opened wine once kids had gone to bed drank a glass sighed with relief, poured another one, then felt like absolute crap/wanted to howl - but nothing happened, went to bed, and laty thinking for hours. Today look about 50 something, and feel washed out.

There.

How are you today? Hope you are better than me. I have a period from hell, and my arse feels so sore, I could write the details here, but ill not bore you.

Hope you are better than me????? My temper scares me, but I dont get a loud agressive voice I get a high pitched squeak, and talk fast when I loose it. I even tried to smash a few cups in the absense of my children just to free some of me up - the tea stained bast....would not smash- they bounced.

Awee, better get busy. Hope you speak soon.

How do you cope with the pace in London?

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: ALL BLOODY MORNING. No reason for it, just crying.

Then, got kids from school , feeling drained and oversensitive. Want my bed. And uncontrolably eating too much :cry: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: I cant talk to others and some people have so much muore to deal with. I feel pathetic!!!!!!!!

I feel sick now.

I thought maybe I could do something with my partner without any stressors, like talk- why I thought that Ill never know/ I should have thought harder, apparently hes is going out tomnight - I just want to know who she is. (And now , I sound like a bunny boiler) God, this is hell..........are there any good films on at the pictures that I could go and see? I dont want to sit here alone thinking about this stuff.

Does he think he can carry on having his cake and eating it?

He acts as if there is nothing wrong?

I cant handle it !

It really hurts me that he had children with me, and then squishes on me like something that should have been scooped up by a pooper scooper. Right then, might go to chemist and give that St johns wort a try. I cant be bothered feeling like this!

Hi Tiny

How did the weekend go in the end? Do you really think your partner has someone else?

Boog

Hi Boog, just spent ages typing a lengthy message (and lost it) :lol: Well, should I say lost it? I think I lost it along time ago!!!!!! Anyway, I think it more thanlikely he has someone to fool around with - who knows- but put it this way there is no way he is allowed to come near me, Bluh!!!! I would not need laxatives - id just need a puke bucket! Bluh!

Okay, had a bad weekend, so started myself (and I know I should not have done so without anyones permission, but sick fed up annoying everyone else and actually wondering if they believe me or not,) that I took ciatlopram again. Seems to be working I am thinkking more like I used to , more sensibly , eating better, ssleep (well, maybe I just dont need it!0.

Honestly , I think I have some sort of pathological psychosis - totally understand it!!! Hum - also have not been that bad with the old laxatives, but my bot is so sore, like (oh Ill not go into the graphics)and my hip is sore. Other than that I am feeling a bit simple. Like relaxed, like a 7 year old when life was simple.....dont know if thats a good thing.....but I can laugh and I am not craving the booze (yet!)_

Hope you are good....are you?

Take care!

PS, would you think it madl to expect your partner to having an affair. ? He came home very early hours again, this Saturday morning. (the second in a row)........and he does not go on about missing me or if I ever look good (not that I do ) or anything,,Mind you on that note, I certainly dont do that to him. Just think ITS OVER but find it too painful to accept and move on. Do I make any sense? :roll:

Hi Boog, yes, I jolly well think he is at it, (but who cares!!!) The sun is shinning!!!!!. How are you ? Have your kids gone back to school yet?

Hi Tiny

Glad your feeling a little better - wish i felt like a 7 year old all relaxed sounds like a good place to be. I'm fine actually apart from a stonking cold but i always feel like i'm dying even with just the simplest ailment!

I don't think your mad thinking your partner is playing away - can you not confront him? or just leave him? Leave the laxatives its not good - i no i'm a fine one to say but i've switched to something that the Priory prescribed me which is Movelat which is just a mild laxative and so i got weaned off the stronger cocktail i was taking but then it was easy for me as for 2 whole weeks i wasn't able to pick and choose what i shoved down my neck.

You should take your anti-depressants all the time - why do you stop them?

Good your not craving the drink - thats a great way forward - don't you think? Thats probably one of my proudest things is not drinking much any more.

Talk soon

Boog

Hi Boog, what do you mean?( You could not control what you threw down your neck for 2 weeks) and what cocktail of lax were you doing ? (Okay -dont answer that one!) I found that if I stop I still have bad bowel movments, and sometimes I can take them and thewy seem to make me constipated, but i get scared when you get that stabbing feeling up my backside and my stomach cramps and I cant move and then panic that i am not going to make it to the lou, So trying to ween myself of them, I find when I get upset though, I am straight in there - like its my only security. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :x :x :x :x :x

I am off work today, (which is just as well) Still in a good mood, but feel a bit muscle sore, tired and still in my pyjamas(wahat a lazy daisy )... Whoops < iput on the cfs forum, that I should try and put some clothes on (or something to that effect.....on no, theyll all think I sitting in the nude. OMG :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Thinking about joining a yoga class, Get me out, and maybe meet others.

Sorry to hear you have a cold, I hate them they always knock me out.I am a bit sweaty today after feleing frezzing yesterday (must be the weather) . Apparently, we are all going to suffer SAD and get rickets due to the lack of vitamin d and c. Weel, must buy some supplements......(oh god, so cheerie me).

Boog, my cpn did not want to prescribe me ads due to me drinking 9etc) although dont know if she knows the other stuff. This time though I seem to be much better and they seem to be working. ( iam going to get into trouble for this :lol: :lol: :lol: Only taking the smallest dose.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Oh Boog, just gave my partner the wrong directions to concert in Glasgow :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :oops: :P :shock: I am so wicked!!!!!!!!!!!!!1Okay, Ill go get up!

Phew!!!! Glad that was not for me!!! Sorry, Boog - I canr control what I throw down my neck either. Were you put in a priory for 2 weeks(What I meant when I asked?)

Oh boog , have cracker of bruise on my head......put thick foundation to cover it up- it s not working. Well, I am going to do the housework, or some of the housework, before children get back. I definately think partner is at it now. My partner has been a laidback guy since the day I met him, When he asked me where blah blah a street was, he sounded a little anxious!!!! I am cruel!!!!!!

:oops: :oops: :cry: :cry: Hes definately at it!!!!!!! I cant stop eating today!!!!!!! Bruise on head is sore, neck sore amd why is life so unfair????????

Taught my girl how to tie her shoelaces (just like my aunt taught me)....its funny , I know the strangest things. Partner was shocked when I showed her a different way to tie. It feels good handing something down like that.

Hope you are better than me!!!!!!

I dont know if you are around? Feeling really down today - even the cat is winding me up. really cant bring me to talk to real people. I just feel really hurt. (Mind you I did have a couple of glasses of red wine last night).

My joints are all sore. Ended up watching rubbish tv, couldnt talk to my sister- she keeps phoning (and I selfishly dont answer, i cant sit and listen to her ramble on about her day, when I cant even face mine).

I stupidly took laxatives and feel like rubbish again, ( I dont know why I did it!) I just couldnt control me, I felt guilty for eating so much rubbish and then so tiref and drained, Once his dad had gone and kids had gone to bed I just wanted to sleep. ive been sleeping a lot better, but waking 3 or 4 times during the night.

What was that lax you sadi you were taking to ween you off them ?, Its just I want off these before something happens to my body and I end up with a bag!!! Ridiculous to think wot I am doing :cry: :cry: I cant handle the children demands, My mum is coming over and I will never be as good a mum as she was with me and my sister ( when I say good mum , I am talking about hygiene and standards)odf, course, I know I can give the love required, right now I am so snappy, or hyper around them. I worry about what they think. Though they both chat chat chat chat , (usually at the same time) !00 miles per hour, quietly relieved when they are at school, though I do like pampering them in the evening. I just feel Ive failed them. Then feel guilty.

Anyway, I guess it can only get better (or as the case may be, worse). Hope you okay.....I am going for a sleep and then do some housework.

[b:f7455bb825]While I am only greatful to puk for helping me after a very long period of time. I find it very rude that someone should come along and rate an experience (Like the above), especially when someone is not feeling good or not themselves. It is solely hurtful that someone should rate someone else like that. I am not writing an english essay to my teacher - am I ? Its a bit like pushing someone off the top of a high rise block- is it not? Sorry, there is no need to rate an experience like this. Experiences should only be rated if it is felt thst they share the experience in the same way. A little thought should be given to this. I am sorry to say it, but its a bit like typing\"Thats funny, FOR YOU\" Or, \"your spellin . IS WORSE THAN USUAL\" While I know and as PUK knows WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. show some compassion!!!!!!!

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Tiny Tears ..... I agree with you completely. Please don't take it personally ...... it's probably just some bored individual that has little else to do with him/herself who thinks it's funny to go round upsetting others. They are just not worth the time of day :evil: Get a life ..... whoever is responsible!

I actually don't like the rating system at all ..... PUK is brilliant, and I couldn't be without it, but I honestly think the rating system is totally out of order. It's very hurtful to someone who has taken the time and trouble to post an experience or helpfully answered someones else's question or problem to then be given marks out of ten.

Our schooldays and being marked out of ten are long gone.

Katie k.

Tiny Tears ..... I am going to award you a gold star for your last effort! :wink:

:D :D :D :shock: Oh, thanks Katie (you are a tur friend!!!!!!!). Yeah , Katie you are right about the rating thing, I mean 10 out of 10 for pointing out that to rate a personal experience (in illness ) is a rotten thing to do. Empathy or no empathy.......who thought of it??????