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I am to new to this site and I have problems with my drinking

Posted , 11 users are following.

debbie90007
debbie90007

My drinking as got totally out of control. I am off work today due to a massive hangover. I am drinking two bottles of wine seven days a week. I make any excuse up to have a drink. I just don't seem to be able to function without a drink. I feel so sad

1 like, 22 replies

22 Replies

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  • glyn86336
    glyn86336 debbie90007

    Posted

    Hi Debbie, sad to here your problem, I had the same problem, easier done than said, but try and cut down in the week so you can focus on work, that's what I had to do or I would have lost everything (againsmile or see doctor, arrange AA meeting, good luck.
  • zoony
    zoony debbie90007

    Posted

    We've all been where you find yourself Debbie, it's a tough spot but just for now. The fact that you're here is a great first step. No need to panic lass.

    I think the fact that you make excuses to yourself to have a drink should stop. If you're going to open a bottle of wine at least be honest about it..fibbing to yourself is pretty pointless don't you think? Being an alcoholic ain't much fun but it can be very self rewarding to get a grip on it and "own it" as younger folk say. Quitting is often best done in small steps. You don't mention family or friends in your post..Do you have someone to support you in this?

    Feeling sad is okay, we've all felt sad when we've finally admitted to the demon inside. Dry your eyes and for the moment just take it easy on yourself... you're part of a huge group of people who're all in the same big boat, though we may not all row in the same direction at times..You'll find good solid advice here for the most part, use it as you will.

                                                     Big hug, Z

  • h1954
    h1954 debbie90007

    Posted

    Hi, Debbie.  First off, I'm so glad you found this site and are being honest about your problem - that in itself takes courage and is a big step - well done.  And, although I don't want anyone to feel sad, I'm kind of glad you do, because if you felt happy abpout your drinking you wouldn't be able to start doing something about it.  So, you've taken the first step and there are lots more things you can do.  Don't be afraid of talking to your doctor - I was, but in fact she was helpful and supportive and not judgemental.  Google alcohol support in your area - I did and had help from a counsellor.  Totally confidential.  I was drinking more than you (a huge amount for a woman) and have cut down by over a half. I still have a way to go, but what helped me was acknowledging the problem, finding the motivation to change (difficult, I had it to begin with but it faded), deciding not to drink before a certain time in the evening and stop at 9 pm.  It's not been easy, and I've lapsed a lot, but I'm doing ok and I have really benefitted from the changes I've made. So I wish you well in your endeavours - keep in touch with this forum for support. 
    • debbie90007
      debbie90007 h1954

      Posted

      Thank you. Reading this as helped already. My family have have been on at me this week. They have made me feel so bad about my drinking. My husband stormed out this morning. He is totally ashamed at me for not going into work again. Truth was I was still too drunk to go into work. I look at my life and I really do not understand why I do it. I turn into a horrible person after too much drink. I spend my life apologising to people for my behaviour. I have told myself today is the day I need to sort it..and I am already scared of not having a drink tonight

    • h1954
      h1954 debbie90007

      Posted

      I understand you feeling scared of not having a drink tonight. Whenever my counsellor and I discussed me not drinking at all total panic set in. And for me that was to do with a sense of failure if things had got so bad that I could never have another drink. But that's me and it isn't at all true of others. It's important to realise that it's a marathon, not a sprint.
  • h1954
    h1954 debbie90007

    Posted

    Fact is, it can be dangerous to stop suddenly if you've been drinking heavily for a long time. Specially if you get bad withdrawal symptoms when you stop. I suggest getting medical help and maybe just having one or two less tonight and the same the next and so on if you get withdrawal probs. Good luck.
  • Robin2015
    Robin2015 debbie90007

    Posted

    HI Debbie. Great that you admit to all your problems since lots of people can give you good advice. My only advice is to wait to hit rock bottom and then go up. Have you reached rock bottom yet and feel that you have too much to loose if you carry on?? That is what changed me overnight..then somebody replied to me but how deep is rcok bottom or should it be higher up which means "should we really get the bad and that low in order to change?" let us know how you get on and best of luck!
  • ned58436
    ned58436 debbie90007

    Posted

    Well done for finding this site. Sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment. We've all been there. I'd suggest setting a doctor and try AA Meetings. i went to AS for the months and it really helped. Ignore the religious stuff if that isn't for you. Going to meetings made my family who I'd let down respect me again as they understood better I had a problem and was trying to do something about it. Good luck!
  • ArtGrl
    ArtGrl debbie90007

    Posted

    Hi Debbie,

    It's so good you're here talking about it.  There is a lot of great support here, they really helped me.  You are definitely not alone - I was you just two short weeks ago!  Feeling terrible in the morning, checking to make sure I hadn't sent any embarrassing texts or emails while drunk the night before, vowing to never drink again, but then, as the afternoon would roll around, a drink seemed to settle my nerves and make me feel happy, and ... repeat.  

    Sober for 10 days now for the first time in over 20 years because I almost lost my marriage due to losing my husband's respect because of my alcohol use - gaining weight, picking fights and acting crazy when out with friends while drunk.

    At some point you'll find something that scares the @#$ out of you about alcohol, and then you'll take steps to stop.

    Wishing you the best, and a big hug.

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 ArtGrl

      Posted

      HI ArtGirl. Well done and now 21 days sober soon. When 1 month then treat yourself. You derserve it. Something you would not normally do. Cinema, restaurant or somehting completely mad...bungee jumping?? Best of luck to you!!
  • h1954
    h1954 debbie90007

    Posted

    Hi, Debbie. Just wondering how you got on these last couple of days.
    • debbie90007
      debbie90007 h1954

      Posted

      Everything was great to start. I went to the doctor with a friend of mine on Thursday morning and made a start. She gave me some numbers which i have contacted and going along on Thursday night to be assessed etc.

      I went out Thursday night and just had a couple of glasses of wine and had a meal with my husband.

      Yesterday was spent at a funeral as we lost a friend last weekend. I was prould of myself and had a couple half a lager and had three very small wines with lots of soda. All my friends was prould of me.

      Decided to leave the funeral at teatime and booked into a small italian restaurant with my husband instead of staying at funeral and carry on drinking.

      That is when it all changed!!!! My husband was drunk by this time and started to pick a fight with me about how clean i had been all day. He did not like it. He was raising his voice at me in restaurant. Manager had a word with me and asked me could i ask him to leave. I was so embarrased and we left restaurant and had to pay full bill even though we did not touch the food. I rang a taxi he would not get in it and i came home myself. Ended up sleeping at my mother in laws as did not want to get into fight at home.

      Not seen him yet today he gone off for day on his motorbike.

      What do i do next. I do not know. Why did he do this to me.

      I don't want to be too hard because i know i have been in many a drunk state in the past myself.

      I want to change all that now for myself.

      Doctor told me to have a little treat for myself each day this week unitl i go back to see her next week. My treat today is having highlights in my hair. Don't want to do that now and don't feel i deserve it.

      Trying to be so strong but feel so low again today.

      Its rubbis x

    • h1954
      h1954 debbie90007

      Posted

      Oh, Debbie, you've done so well, I'm sorry to hear about the reaction you got. Often when one person in a relationship makes changes for the better the other one can't cope as it threatens the dynamics of the relationship. Hope that you can see a counsellor to talk this through with. Remember how proud your friends were of you and build on that. And have those highlights - rememebr you achieved what you intended to which was not to drink so much that you got drunk - well done. Hope Thursday is helpful.
    • debbie90007
      debbie90007 h1954

      Posted

      I am doing okay at the moment and had a very good chat with my husband this morning. I know i have not been fair to him over the last few years but i feel as though i have made a start now helping myself. He also thinks he is going to try hard in making an effort not to drink as heavy too. New day new start we have said.

      Last night i had one small glass of wine. Had a very restless nights sleep and feel very irritable this morning but i am really trying not to have a drink.

      This morning i am going to have a nice bath reading my book and then try to do some of my jewellery making. A hobby i use to be really into. I like making jewellery for birthday presents and got quite a few coming up at the moment so i am going to give it a go.

      I am also nervous today because i have been suspended from work and my meeting with two of my bosses is at 10am tomorrrow. I don't know what is going to happen at meeting and feel really embarassed that my drinking has caused me to be suspended.

      Trying to be positive but if i get finished from my job it going to be a big set back. Going to be so hard all this

    • h1954
      h1954 debbie90007

      Posted

      Hi, Debbie, so pleased you had a good chat with hubby. Hopefully you can tell work that you are taking steps to change, have cut down, getting help, going for counselling etc. Enjoy the jewellery making, you will create something lovely out of the mess of the drink. Would it be OK if I prayed for you? You won't upset me if you say no. Hx
    • debbie90007
      debbie90007 h1954

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply. I am taking my time step by step. Was very pleased to hear how you did at party last night. You must be so proud.

      I have also applied to do some volunteering work at a local youth club this morning..keep me busy on a sunday. I will see if they get back in touch with me.

      It would be lovely if you said a prayer for me.

    • vickylou
      vickylou debbie90007

      Posted

      Hi debbie, from someone whose been in your position (although many years ago), just wanted to say hope your meeting with your bosses goes ok. Have they suspended you due to your sick/absent record, or because you've been drunk at work? I ended up resigning rather than wait for the embarrassment of being sacked, which is what would have happened. However things have changed a lot since then and you can prove you're taking positive steps in addressing your problem. Please let us know how you went on 
    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 debbie90007

      Posted

      tough one Debbie!! Your doctor is right and I often five advice to people to give themselves a TREAT when they deserve it. He is WRONG and you are right and this is not easy but you have to believe yourself in these hard times. Keep going Dbiie. You can do it!
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