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So I don't know how I've done this, but I've really done a number on myself. I feel as though I have ended up in a hell that I designed to be the most torturous thing for me apart from literal torture. People always say but you should be thankful for what you have, and yes I am thankful that I have a bed to sleep in and running water and the like, but I cannot do this anymore. I've been in the same school for 5 years now and until recently I didn't realise how much it has ground me down and made me completely miserable. I have 2 years there but when you live, like I, on a day to day basis as the thought of a week from now scares the crap out of me because I'm unsure if I will make it to next week, it seems like an eternity. I can't switch school. It is a boarding school so I spend all my time there. Currently I'm on Christmas holiday but I have to go back in three days and part of me wonders if it wouldn't be better to kill myself before that and save myself the pain. I've tried talking to my parents but it's like they just want to put me on another medication so that I can get on with it. I'm sick of school, I'm sick of the system and the stress, it's killing me. Please help
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