I can't believe this is my life now.

Posted , 18 users are following.

I was a normal 43 year old working woman one month ago. Suddenly, at work I had an aura w/o migraine. I had no idea what was happening to me and thought I was fainting due to a particularly heavy period. I was transported by ambulance to the hospital and released 5 hours later. It happened again two days later and then two days after that. Since then, I have had eye disturbances (blurry, flashes of light, wavy lines, visual snow, etc.). I had ever test imaginable (bloodwork, thyroid, hormones, CT scan, MRI, carotid ultrasound, etc.). I have seen my primary, a neurologist, ER twice, ophthalmologist, and the obgyn. Everyone says my tests are normal/negative and I'm okay. I'm not okay...at all.

As all this testing began, I started getting waves of nausea with sweating on palms and feet. Then, came the flu-like feeling. Along the way, I started having intense anxiety. Mornings and nights brought adrenaline surges. I have so many strange sensations that there's too many to list. Least fun, are the palpitations, pressure/tension in head, internal shaking, inability to relax, and constant worry that I will have another aura.

Prior to this starting, I was planning on changing jobs and pursuing a second masters degree. Now, I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and about to lose my job. I cry everyday. I feel like my whole life is over. I am single and don't have any children. I'm scared, alone, and just wish someone would help me.

I'm so confused. I thought perimenopause was just hot flashes and sweating. I work with dozens of middle aged women who are thriving. Why am I so sick and housebound?!

8 likes, 26 replies

26 Replies

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  • Posted

    Hi staci, and welcome to the group.. Yes this is what it is now , every single thing you stated , and very well said describing all the crazy symptoms.. I really feel for you its very scary at first, and the inability to be able to calm yourself is no joke.. Its truly a scary symptom.. It seems the health anxiety can run wild in that department when you are scared and very worried about yourself! I myself have the zigzag wavy vision off balance also and it comes along with the awful migraines that last days, all hormones I'm afraid.. They come monthly and and can really be debilitating... Not sure if you are a candidate for hormones or not or even choose that road as its a very personal situation for everyone, but some woman take the hormones, some take the anti anxiety meds, also following a clean diet helps, and figuring out what your triggers are, lots and lots of things can and do trigger your symptoms making them worse.. For me the lights and smells inside stores trigger the migraines , some woman take meds for migraines as well during perimenopause.. Its just awful all the way around , just have to learn what relaxes you and helps you get through each and everyday as these symptoms will come and go for a long time, good luck with your transition and message anytime if you need someone to talk to ☺

    • Posted

      Thank you so much for replying. I sent you a private message. The constant visual disturbances are by far the most incapacitating symptom. I'm afraid to work, drive, go to stores. I've become housebound. I haven't had a zig-zag aura since the last in the series of three. From what I understand, it will come back again. I'm so afraid.

      I don't take any meds at the moment. I don't want to treat the symptom. I want to treat the problem. My obgyn did not prescribe any HRT because she said my symptoms were atypical based on my bloodwork and suggested I see an endocrinologist.

    • Posted

      get a new ob and see a endocrine doctor. I HAVE ALL THE SAME SYMPTOMS AND I AM IN MENOPAUSE AND I JUST STARTED hrt. 6.25 x 2 pills a day. estrogen and progrstern its called prempro. I am on day 2 and i can already see and feel a calming and more energy. I am finally hopeful that i am going to feel normal again. It takes 30 days to see if i am on the right dose. I am so excited to see the positive changes i will get to have. Please get a gyn that will listen and give u hrt.

    • Posted

      Thank you for replying! Ugh, this is such a trying time. I went to this premiere obgyn in Princeton, NJ. She said my symptoms were atypical and suggested I see an endocrinologist. There was no mention of HRT due to my bloodwork being normal (estradoil 224, FSH 3.9, LH 5.6).

  • Posted

    HI Staci - UGH! You poor thing...its awful isnt it? here is the good news...everything checked out & there is nothing wrong with you & that has to be your focus, especially while in a panic state. Something that has really calmed my anxiety down is taking a very good quality probiotic and also magnesium and check to see if your VITAMIN D level is good. Also, try to really clean up your diet, no sugar, white flour and keep really hydrated - oh & invest in the best B STRESS vitamins - take care, feel better

    • Posted

      Hello, thank you for replying. I think I could handle this so much better if it weren't for my eyes. It feels like torture. I just started taking magnesium and did think that it helped immediately, but just this past couple of days, I thought maybe it was making things worse. Maybe I'm crazy? Maybe it's my anxiety play tricks on me?

  • Posted

    I know exactly how you feel, however I was lucky that I had a spouse to support me during all of this. There would've been no way I could've worked.

    I agree with you that it seems like everyone I know had no real issues with hormones aside from hot flashes with sweating. We here on this forum are the unlucky 20% of women who have severe symptoms. I was like you, one day I felt normal and the next all the crazy symptoms starting hitting. Every one of them was just horrible. When I think back to which was my worse symptoms it'd be hard to say, the flu feelings, the shaking, the palps, the frozen shoulder, the breast and ovarian cysts, the eye disturbances, on and on and on. And the anxiety of it all, wondering what dreadful disease could be causing all of it. Like you, I had every test imaginable. Could not accept the fact that hormones could make one feel so poorly. One doctor told me that if it was something, eventually it will show itself. I'm over two years in now, and nothing has showed up, BUT my symptoms are starting to lessen. I'm still nowhere near the normal me from before, but I can handle what's going on now.

    Just curious, have you had any tests for viruses? Like reactivated EBV?

    • Posted

      Hello, thanks for replying! This is all so overwhelming. It came out of left field and hit me like a Mack truck. All of the symptoms are horrible, but it's the eye disturbances that keep me awake at night and constantly stressed and worried. I have not been tested for EBV, but I tested negative for lymes.

  • Posted

    I feel for you, Staci...

    I've got all your symptoms and more - pelvic pain/cramps, upset stomach, brain fog, mood swings, forgetfulness etc.

    I often wake up with anxiety and every new symptom send my anxiety through the roof.

    I am 46 and have started taking birth control pills for the first time in my life. They ease the irregular periods but I'm convinced they bring a load of symptoms as well...

    I had an aura migraine without pain 6 years ago when I was pregnant and suddenly another just last month. There is no doubt in my mind it is related to fluctuating hormones!

    I have started talking therapy hoping it can ease my anxiety 😃

    Feel free to send me a private message if you need support.

    I hope you find peace with the periyears...

    • Troldepus
    • Posted

      Hello, thank you for replying! Why must we endure such suffering. I don't know if I can do this another day. What is most upsetting, is that women say they suffer for years. How can there be no end to the madness? What gives any of us hope? My eyes are so troubling. I start to doubt what I see. Perhaps, I've just gone mad.

  • Edited

    Hi Staci...I am 41 and going through hell too! I am on my 4 th migraine this week. placed a call to my obgyn because I think the birth control I started 3 weeks ago is killing my head! I am on a med for migraine maintenance too...not touching these migraines. I am trying to help myself, but this is just too much! I would cry...but it hurts too much! The migraines started in peri. This is me waving the white flag. my tests are normal too.

    • Edited

      Hello, thank you for replying! I've had menstrual migraines for about 7 years, but they NEVER consisted of auras. Ever since the last aura a month ago, I've been blind. My vision is all blurry, lights are too bright, I see wavy lines in part of my vision, I see flashes of light like paparazzi, and when I look at something bright, I have to blink a million times to make the after image go away. What is wrong with my brain? How can I be in a constant state of migraine without any headache? I'm so VERY afraid.

    • Posted

      Hi, I know...it is incredible that tests are clear. I had a ripping migraine last year during my brain MRI. I am very unbalanced too. episodes of spinning room. But, I am in a constant tipsy state since these migraines. Absolutely horrible...had to stop working last year. self employed, so no pay. Seeing a vestibular neuro soon. I believe I have migraine associated vertigo with hormones being the trigger. my obgyn called back and ordered me off the birth control pill...because of the more frequent migraine attacks...sucks. Was on it 20 years, then all issues started 17 months when I went off.

      My eyes are very sensitive to lights also, more floaters, wavy corkscrew things. I actually just found out today that an aura is nit just visual ...tingles are an aura, which I have been getting. No idea how my brain just does not explode. sorry you are having a bad time too...I wish I had hot flashes and bitchiness.

    • Posted

      H i Lou, so sorry your having more migraines this week, I feel for you, I had the dizziness and the nausea bad last few days and yesterday that wonderful migraine hit bad, I was down for the count all day and night with it, today I feel like a nauseated bear crawling out of her cave.. Just wanted to say your not alone I'm miserable too at the moment..hope you feel better soon😰

    • Edited

      thanks Gypsy...I am sorry you feel bad too! Terrible attack yesterday...obgyn told me to get off the BCP. I am so off balanced and frustrated today. Made my kids lunch and almost fell over in the kitchen. Wobbled in the snow to my barn only out there for 5 minutes... I have Raynauds...must have flared up... fingers toes purple, then red...prickly.

      My mind is wandering again...googled migraines, vertigo and raynauds and now I am back to thinking I have a horrible disease! Although some things said a lot of people with migraines get it...disruption of the blood vessels. I don't know which way is up. Sooo over all of this! 

    • Posted

      Oh, gosh. That sounds dreadful. I've read so many stories about how BC causes migraines. It's confusing because I've also read as many posts about HRT helping migraines. How can one be a cause and the other a solution?! Geez, now I'm going to worry about every little tingle!!! I agree....why can't we just get hot flashes and bitchiness.

    • Edited

      im 41 peri started last year , all test normal but life is hell, migraine with aura n along all peri symptoms horrible.

    • Edited

      Hi Staci I was wondering do you feel any better? I have similar symptoms...

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