1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

I can't cope anymore. I'm completely alone.

Posted , 10 users are following.

kage100
kage100

I don't even know what to write.

I'm having a serious low. I can't actually cope with the pain anymore. I hurt myself and I don't even feel it.

All I can think of is how being dead would stop this. I can't cope anymore.

I turned to my boyfriend, who knows everything about my depression and anxiety and my medication etc. He literally knows it all. He said he can't be bothered to talk to me when I'm like this.

That felt like the final nail in the coffin. Why do I even try to live when those around me can't be bothered with me anymore?

Right now I am falling apart at the seams, I've had a crying episode unlike any I have ever had before, my head is throbbing.

I need someone to help me. I can't do this anymore.

1 like, 16 replies

16 Replies

Next
  • linda83143l
    linda83143l kage100

    Posted

    Please ring the Samaritans. One number I know is

    0161 236 8000

    They listen, you remain anonymous, calls can not be traced, open your heart out to them. They are open 24hrs a day, every day.

    Your boyfriend saying what he did, he just dismissed your needs and emotions which was cruel. Is he worth staying with, think very carefully. Life throws things at you and you need support at many times.

    I am being totally honest with you. You need to put yourself first.

    Have you seen your GP, he may be able to help. My heart goes out to you. Xx Linda

    • kage100
      kage100 linda83143l

      Posted

      Thank you Linda.

      I spoke with Samaritans. They said to call if I can't sleep and feel like this again.

      I really appreciate your reply. It means a lot x

  • tim67087
    tim67087 kage100

    Posted

    Hi Kage 

    i am sorry you are feeling so bad, I wish I knew what to tell you. I myself am going through horrible anxiety and I am finding hard to cope too. It helps me to know I am not alone on here and I hope that helps you as well. I think the only time I feel good is when I am sleeping. There are good people on here.  

    • kage100
      kage100 tim67087

      Posted

      I am amazed at the responses I have gotten.

      It really means loads to see people understand x

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 kage100

    Posted

    Hi kage

    Sorry to hear how difficult things are for you right now. I am sure your boyfriend doesn't mean it. He probably said it out of frustration as depression cannot fully be understood by our loved ones. Not saying that excuses him for upsetting you but I'm am certain he will apologise to you once he has calmed down. In the meantime please don't hurt yourself as that will only make you feel lower. Crying can help believe it or not eg. When I cry buckets I do end up with a headache but somehow feel better after. You can and will make it through this. Dig down deep and find that inner strength. Even if you feel you haven't got any strength left..trust me you do it may be you need to dig deeper than normal.

    I am sure your boyfriend didn't mean it but words can really hurt.

    I and others are all here for you. Have a nice warm bath, play your favourite song and relax. Take nice long deep breaths and try and empty your mind by either concentrating on the words of a song or a TV show. Every time you find yourself thinking about other things ...pull your thoughts back to the music or TV.

    Here for you xx

    Blessings to you x

    • kage100
      kage100 lorraine52317

      Posted

      Thank you Lorraine.

      I am fighting it. Even though I just want to hide, I am fighting it x

    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 kage100

      Posted

      Bless you Kage.

      I know it's hard honey but keep fighting. We are all in your corner xx

  • Digsby
    Digsby kage100

    Posted

    Hi,

    You've been brave and done the right thing in posting here. Relationships when depression is involved can be very tough, almost like having a threeway conversation - the black dog will sooner or later make itself known. There's no right or wrong though - it's not your fault and it isn't your bf's either. Life is difficult for you both. You are in pain and he is an onlooker and probably feels powerless to help you. What help have you got at the moment? Medication? Therapy? Depression has a way of overwhelming us. We could probably cope with some things but when we need to keep everything on the go at once, it's too much and the mind & body let us know (not in a good way!) It could mean that you need some time out in areas of your life that are causing you the most distress at the moment. Don't be afraid to ask for help or for people to whom you have a commitment (e.g. work) to cut you some slack for a while. It's not a sign of weakness - it's an investment in your healthy future. If you find it hard to communicate with your bf when you are both stressed, try writing your feelings down. I know you want the pain to go away and there seems like there might be a permanent solution but this is an absolute last resort and you owe it to tourself to explore every possible option first. Please give yourself some time to reassess your life and get some professional help via your doctor so that you have a rational and objective view on your issues. You'll find support here whenever you need it so don't feel as if no one understands what you are going through. Take one small step at a time and I know you will get to where you want to be.

    Hugs xx

    • kage100
      kage100 Digsby

      Posted

      Thank you, Digsby.

      I am on medication, Venlafaxine at 150mg.

      I don't think it is working. I have booked an appt. with my GP.

      X

    • Digsby
      Digsby kage100

      Posted

      Hows long have u been on the 150mg and are u having any bad side effects? I've heard good things about this drug but experienced very bad things myself and had to come off it after 2 months and try something else. Definitely may be time for a change. When is your doctor's appointment? I hope you don't have to wait too long?

      xx

    • kage100
      kage100 Digsby

      Posted

      I had a manic episode so my doctor referred me to mental health team again. They have increased my medication to 225mg. I feel no different.
    • greentea30029
      greentea30029 kage100

      Posted

      Are you on a mood stabilizer. Sweetie, I am so sorry.  I am in the same boat as you.  It is so hard when nobody really understands depression.  Take Care sweetie.  I am praying for you.
  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 kage100

    Posted

    Oh boy...this does not sound good at all.

    This is so sad....I do know what it feels like to be alone.

    I do know depression.

    I also know that WE make other feel helpless when we are like this because they can't fix us...and only we can fix ourselves.  I know what I am going to ask you do...may seem SILLY...and you might not even feel like getting up to get to the TV...but you SHOULD watch a FUNNY show...even if you don't feel like it....

    I try to do this when I am super depressed...laughter is really the best medicine.

     

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 kage100

    Posted

    Hi kage...i am so sorry to hear that you are so, so sad, it is very difficult to face up to..I know....I am sure that your boyfriend did not intend to hurt you, they are just unsure of how to deal with it...

    I am so glad to hear that you are returning to your GP...you may need a different antidepressant...I have been on 200mgs of sertraline for many, many years and it has helped me greatly....Try to eat and sleep as well as you are able...when you feel very, VERY stressed just try to relax if you can...listen to some soothing music...read a book, or if you can ( what I normally do ) is try to take a nap...or anything else that you can think of...you are in my thoughts....big hugs to you lovey....Deirdre xxx

  • jade34013
    jade34013 kage100

    Posted

    Hi Kage,.

    I used to feel exactly the same way you do now. Unfortunately my issue manifested into something worst and now it's harder for me to escape. I don't know your whole story, but it seems to me your boyfriend may be a reflection of the problem. When I care about someone that's not the reaction my significant other would get from me. In fact a stranger wouldn't get that type of reaction from me. Again I don't know your whole story, but this is my advice. You should make sure you get the same respect from people that you put out. Try and rid yourself of people that don't. It's hard to illuminate people from your lives, especially those you think highly of. Just don't wait as long as I did, because it can get much much worst.

Back to top
Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.