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I can't stop

Posted , 12 users are following.

kristina67979
kristina67979

I'm 26 and have drank heavily for 12 years. I've tried aa, drugs from the doctor, I've been rock bottom. I just can't seem to stop. I want to, i don't enjoy the feeling on a morning after I've drank. I don't enjoy feeling scared about whether i can afford drink. I wake up and think, can i drink today. I hate myself for it. I went through a lot as a child, between the age of 2 and 19 i was abused by 8 family members, 6 strangers and 1 friend. I thought i had dealt with it. I see a councillor now and i still just need a drink to dull the pain and anxiety. I'm scared and my family just say to get over it.

4 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • candis33631
    candis33631 kristina67979

    Posted

    Sounds like my story especially when family say just get over it.  I kept trying to please them and be around them and I hated them and always got drunk when ever i got around them.  They didn't want me in counseling or aa or to get better and made me feel like i was crazy all my life.  My counselor saw my mom 1 time and refused to let her in her office again.  They did not want me well cause I had a big mouth and they were afraid of being exposed.  My dad was a raging drunk and sexual abused all the time.  The sad thing was when they did die the pain never went away cause I had so much depression aniexty could not be in relationships or let anyone close.  I still got drunk the problem never went away.  A lot of the aniexty drugs and drugs in general from doctor always made things worse eventually.  especial xanax and if i drank on some of them not knowing I came close to death many times.  the anti aniexty drugs made me want to drink more cause they would quit working or i would have panic a couple of hours before I was suppose to take them.  I thought they were alcohol cravings.  I am just now learning about the meds and in shock how dangerous they are.  There is also post acute withdrawal from drugs and alcohol that show up later.  If you can check out post acute withdrawal and some of the meds you are on.  on youtube;   It is why we continue to crave after the intially detox.  I hope that helps.  I am where you are you are not alone.  
  • escargot420
    escargot420 kristina67979

    Posted

    How are you doing today Kristina, haven't heard from you in a while.

    The way to sobriety is really "keep comming back"

    There is a whole lot of answers to your problems here on this forum.

    If we share our expieriences and keep on posting, we all take the benefits of it.

    By sharing, we show that we're caring, caring for oursellfs and caring for one or many others.

    Please keep on comming back, we need you here

    Escar

     

    • kristina38742
      kristina38742 escargot420

      Posted

      Hi, thank you for your message. I'm not great if I'm honest, I've really been struggling lately. More so this last week.
    • escargot420
      escargot420 kristina38742

      Posted

      Well, the thing which does count is, you come back, don't give up.

      I attempted several times to beat the alcohol, and never succeeded and I know I'm not the only one.

      It's extremely hard to find your own personal methode, the methode which does work for you.

      We all went trough this, and it's nothing to be worry'd about.

      The first step you have made, comitting to yoursellf and others you became powerles over alcohol.

      The most importend one, keep on doing this, this in order to stay true to yoursellf.

      The best of luck, keep on posting, realy it does help.

      Greets

      Escar

       

  • sue08
    sue08 kristina67979

    Posted

    I agree keep coming back. I have been alcohol free for a full 30 days now, I honesly think this site has helped me beyond belief smile
  • kristina38742
    kristina38742 kristina67979

    Posted

    Well done sue that's amazing!

    I'll keep coming back, i guess I'm not sure what to say.

  • sue08
    sue08 kristina67979

    Posted

    Thank you smile But I know my battle is not over, one day at a time. I have now signed up for counselling. I believe it is also important to find out why and brings us to drink, it has to be delt with. 

    I wish you the best of luck and never give up smile

  • kristina38742
    kristina38742 kristina67979

    Posted

    Thank you. I've found a new counsellor who is more spiritual so I'm hoping she can help.

    I'm just feeling incredibly down today. Had a friend tell me last night i need to try everyday to not drink and to try and stop myself. It really hurt as i do try and stop myself every minute of every day, it's an awful battle i have every day. As many of you will also have.

    Anyway thank you for all the support

    • sue08
      sue08 kristina38742

      Posted

      I took lots of hot baths, bought a tredmill from a second hand site, I jmp on when ever I feel the urge to drink, also try something sweet when you have a craving. Alcohol is loaded in sugar and at times that is what we are craving.
    • kristina38742
      kristina38742 sue08

      Posted

      Thanks that's really good advice and I'll definitely try it
    • tim081952
      tim081952 kristina38742

      Posted

      Most of us on here feel a lot like you do about the stuggles every day and I agree with this statement totally, much to my dismay.

      I don't want to sound too pessimistic about spirtuality but I beleive the human spirit is what is important to me. It's what's in us all, so I hope this cousellor doesn't start scaring you or preaching to you about God but to find your own inner spirit that's important.

      The human mind can be so misleading and that's why I beleive good counselling can find your inner being. Mine asks questions to me about things I have read or heard that are positive and works around those thoughts.

      Your friend needs some help listening, take her with you to your next visit with the cousellor...just a thought Kristina.

      It WILL get better and as mentioned on here several times...have a look for the video called "onelittlepill" it could change your whole outlook on life.

      Stay healthy my friend.

      Tim

    • kristina38742
      kristina38742 tim081952

      Posted

      Hi, thanks for your message. I ddidn't mean spiritual in a religious sense. And i feel this lady is more understanding of how i feel.

      I won't be looking at anything to do with the pill for alcoholics, it's not for me.

    • tiswas24537
      tiswas24537 kristina38742

      Posted

      no i dont blame you hun ,if your going to do it,do it the way thats right for you . you need someone who understands the way you think and work so i am glad you have found a new councilor .

      remember you are fighting to demons alcohol and sugar  so be kind to your self , i watched a vid on f/b about a guy getting his life back after being told by the proffesionals he would never walk again unaided .

      he didnt give up he found someone who belived he could do it and together he did razz

      , when he was having a bad day with the excersises mad

      he used to saysmile just because i cant do it today ,dosent me i wont be able to do it tomorrow smile

      . i think thats a great way to think for anyone who is fighting a battle with health smile, by the way he did make it ,now he can run and looks 20 yrs younger ,with a fit and toned body . because he found someone who belived in him to help .razz hopefully you have found the right one to help you .

  • pmcg21
    pmcg21 kristina67979

    Posted

    Hi Kristina - sorry you are having such a hard time- i'm an alcoholic, i struggled for years to get sober- tried everything, treatment centres, AA everything and still drank- it was only when i went to a counsellor and made a real connection with her- i was able to be honest both with her and with myself for the first time in my life- i hope you can make a connection with your counsellor- it changed my life- i still go to her today- i have been sober since 2005- this doesent mean you will have to go for this long-i go because it helps me stay grounded-i just go when i feel i need to- it worked for me and i really hope you get some help -we all need help - very few people manage to stay sober on thier own-you are far from alone- i really thought i was beyond help- everybody else had given up on me- so if i can make it - anyone can-find what works for you- we are all different and need to find are own way- i'm sure you will make it- you have made the first major step by coming here - keep reaching out Kristina- anything you need let us know- we are all rooting for you - YOU CAN DO THIS- STAY STRONG KRISTINA
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