I can't take it anymore!! Perimenopause horrible..HELP!

Edited , 284 users are following.

I am 48 years old, stay at home mom with two children.  They are in school, I try to keep myself very busy.  I have had OCD and anxiety, I have been fighting it for years. But, now the Perimenopause is really terrible..depressed, mood swings, tension headaches, dry and itchy skin.

I have spoken to my sisters who are all past Menopause, they tell me their stories but I just cannot believe that hormones can cause all this havock.  I do not feel myself at all, my PMS is worse and the week of my period I actually feel like I have a disease and I am dying.  Feel like I am going crazy!! Please tell me if this is normal to feel this way at this time, because I am obsessing and cannot get my mind off of it.  Need Help!!!!

23 likes, 702 replies

Report / Delete

702 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    It's normal!!!! 😊 hang in there Jennifer it does get better..... You are in the right place to get advice 💜. It's pretty awful, and no end to symptoms, I worked fulltime but had to give up my job it was just impossible & no one understood. At least at home I have no pressure to try and pretend everything is ok on thee most awful days. I miss working so much and feel so angry that these symptoms are not recognised by many of our doctors, not discussed, it's just wrong! You keep strong because you are! Sending out big hugs 💓😘 xx
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Trevis,

      Wish I could stay home and not work! How do you manage to do that? I actually work from home, now, and married recently so have two incomes, but we use up/spend every bit of both. But I am feeling really burned out and needing a break because of how all the symptoms have been affecting me. And they just piled on even more workload! I thought of trying to take medical leave based on all these symptoms. 

      I don't want to totally lose my job/income and don't want my coworkers to dislike me or make things harder for them, but have to take care of myself, too. 

      I did a saliva test recently and it showed I had virtually no estrogen, progesterone testosterone or dhea (last pertains to adrenal function, which no suprise, i have a short fuse and am very irritable, so I also have find parenting very challenging right now).

      Ugh....

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Edited

    Jennifer, 

    It's incredibly normal to feel this way now. Unfortunately, some of our past issues become heighten during the dancing, declining hormone phase. I liken this part as one of those incredibly bumpy landings during a powerful thunderstorm.  I acutally love to fly, btw, but not a fan of the uncertaintly of the landings!

    Right now we are circling the airport, hitting some turbulence occasionally, even getting to the point of on our way to landing only to have the plane go straight back up and start it all over again.

    I want that smooth landing to happen yesterday, like most on here. I want to be just like your sisters who are all past menopause. Have they been of any inspiration to you as in things do get better after this insane phase? 

    It's easy to obsess over this, that's why I have to really fight with myself and force myself to get active and not let the worry and sad feelings take over. At times I really feel like I have PMS on steroids-yeesh! Activity is good, like brisk walking for one, perhaps a popping in a movie to get your mind off it, just cover up with the blankets and lose yourself in a movie for a bit. Check out JayneeJay's 66 symptoms list along with her many suggestions including vitamin B6 supplements.

    Please know you are not alone, although when in the throws of this not much makes us feel better right away. Eventually we will land and this will be a thing of the past.

    Take care Jennifer.

    Annie xx

     

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I agree, Jennifer, this site is a God send.

      The last Dr I went to listened to me rattle off my perimenopausal symptoms then promptly asked me if I was seeing a psychiatrist. Made me feel terrible! I persisted though, told her I knew my symptoms were from whacky hormone levels and she prescribed Prempro, which has helped immensely. I am a mild-mannered, cheerful, reasonable woman but I feel like sticking my tongue out at her and yelling, "See? I told you it was hormonal!" Lol. (BTW...I switched Drs).

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      This happened to me, too!  I told my now ex-gyn about my peri symptoms and she said to go to a psychiatrist and get on medication.  I am also switching doctors.  I think a big part of this gyn’s problem is that she’s my age and in denial about going through this herself.  Whatever the case, she was rude and unsympathetic, two things we can’t afford to deal with while going through this.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Liz, 

      I think the reason your ex gym behaves like this is that she probably been lucky and hasn’t yet experienced what you have experienced.  Nevertheless there is no excuse to ever be rude, in particular not towards patients who are clearly suffering. 

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      HI Liz,  I just realise you’re not  the only one who got  this  unsympathetic reaction from their doctor.   The safest bet may be  to never  give any doctor any of those details of how horrible  these symptoms feel, unless you’ve reassured yourself that the doctor has empathy as well as emotional intelligence. 
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Edited

      Annie, I love the plane ride description that you wrote about. I will be 50 in a few months and like most of the ladies on this forum, I'm amazed at the chaos that declining hormones can reek on a woman's life. As a healthcare provider I use to hear some of the symptoms that women would complain about in the office but I never thought past the notion of it being "just that time of their life". But now that I'm experiencing it, I wish that I can turn back time and give each one of them a big hug and more support.

      My symptoms range from PMS (on steriods) mood swings, burning tongue, night sweats, hot flashes, electrical shock sensation in my right foot,slow digestion, acid reflux, generalized muscle aches, a burning sensation on my lower legs, feet, and hands, brain fog, decrease concentration, and now muscle twitching! 😢. And I still have a monthly menses!!! I only have anxiety when the symptoms would appear out of nowhere and I didn't know what was causing them leading me to think like so many of these ladies, that I may have a horrible disease or illness. I find that my symptoms are worse after consuming foods that are not healthy or after a lack of exercise. All in all, I may have one decent week out of a month when I am not plagued with symptoms.

      I have a sister that is 2 years older than I and the only symptom that she complains about is hotflashes.

      I had my two children (7 & 4) late in life (age 42 & 45) and I've heard or read that it can make a difference in how the body experience change later in life. I don't believe it to be actual facts especially after reading most of these post from women of various ages experiencing the same or even more symptoms than I am.

      I'm truly grateful to have come across this post because it gives me a great deal of a piece of mind that someone else truly understands because most healthcare providers don't have a clue as to how hard this is or can be on a person's life.

      Thank you again and much love, many hugs, and a sweet kiss to all women out there who are on this plane with us, about to board this plane, or those who have no earthly idea the trip that awaits them.

      Shay

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Edited

      Hi I'm just now finding this site...and OMG spot on. I am 50 and having every issue you described I thought I was alone, because didn't have much family, and they sure didn't speak on the changes a women goes through as we age. Sometimes I think I'm about to have a heart attack because the anxiety gets terrible. Also I have notice a week before each menstrual, I get this feeling of no energy, eyes seem to tire easy, a little dizzy, and aches in parts of my body making think I have arthritis all threw my bones.......... I was that person that didn't tire easy very active and now I feel as if i'm not in the same body......

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Edited

      It can be very scary especially when usually quite a chilled person before. I never had anxiety and even when happens I feel ok just my body does weird stuff have no control over. I'm 5 years in now nearly and things are better but will be glad once over.

      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up