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I can't take it anymore!! Perimenopause horrible..HELP!

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jennifer85396
jennifer85396

I am 48 years old, stay at home mom with two children.  They are in school, I try to keep myself very busy.  I have had OCD and anxiety, I have been fighting it for years. But, now the Perimenopause is really terrible..depressed, mood swings, tension headaches, dry and itchy skin.

I have spoken to my sisters who are all past Menopause, they tell me their stories but I just cannot believe that hormones can cause all this havock.  I do not feel myself at all, my PMS is worse and the week of my period I actually feel like I have a disease and I am dying.  Feel like I am going crazy!! Please tell me if this is normal to feel this way at this time, because I am obsessing and cannot get my mind off of it.  Need Help!!!!

32 likes, 739 replies

739 Replies

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  • Trevis
    Trevis jennifer85396

    Edited

    It's normal!!!! 😊 hang in there Jennifer it does get better..... You are in the right place to get advice 💜. It's pretty awful, and no end to symptoms, I worked fulltime but had to give up my job it was just impossible & no one understood. At least at home I have no pressure to try and pretend everything is ok on thee most awful days. I miss working so much and feel so angry that these symptoms are not recognised by many of our doctors, not discussed, it's just wrong! You keep strong because you are! Sending out big hugs 💓😘 xx
    • jennifer85396
      jennifer85396 Trevis

      Edited

      Thank you Trevis!!!!!!!!!!!!! the site is going to save our lives, God bless you for taking the time to write to me...hugs right back to you xo

       

    • jackie95472
      jackie95472 Trevis

      Posted

      That is my story completely.  Have you tried biodenticals.  Regular doctors are providing no relief.  
    • LCat
      LCat Trevis

      Posted

      Hi  Trevis, what do you think why why these symptoms are not recognised by them ?? This 
    • julie54379
      julie54379 Trevis

      Edited

      Hi Trevis,

      Wish I could stay home and not work! How do you manage to do that? I actually work from home, now, and married recently so have two incomes, but we use up/spend every bit of both. But I am feeling really burned out and needing a break because of how all the symptoms have been affecting me. And they just piled on even more workload! I thought of trying to take medical leave based on all these symptoms. 

      I don't want to totally lose my job/income and don't want my coworkers to dislike me or make things harder for them, but have to take care of myself, too. 

      I did a saliva test recently and it showed I had virtually no estrogen, progesterone testosterone or dhea (last pertains to adrenal function, which no suprise, i have a short fuse and am very irritable, so I also have find parenting very challenging right now).

      Ugh....

    • jaye58413
      jaye58413 julie54379

      Posted

      Julie, I agree..you definitely have to take care of you. I could not imagine working right now. I was blessed to retire at 55...my perimenopause was over the top. I've found that stress can make menopause a bit worse. Praying things get easier for you.

  • annieschaefer
    annieschaefer jennifer85396

    Edited

    Jennifer, 

    It's incredibly normal to feel this way now. Unfortunately, some of our past issues become heighten during the dancing, declining hormone phase. I liken this part as one of those incredibly bumpy landings during a powerful thunderstorm.  I acutally love to fly, btw, but not a fan of the uncertaintly of the landings!

    Right now we are circling the airport, hitting some turbulence occasionally, even getting to the point of on our way to landing only to have the plane go straight back up and start it all over again.

    I want that smooth landing to happen yesterday, like most on here. I want to be just like your sisters who are all past menopause. Have they been of any inspiration to you as in things do get better after this insane phase? 

    It's easy to obsess over this, that's why I have to really fight with myself and force myself to get active and not let the worry and sad feelings take over. At times I really feel like I have PMS on steroids-yeesh! Activity is good, like brisk walking for one, perhaps a popping in a movie to get your mind off it, just cover up with the blankets and lose yourself in a movie for a bit. Check out JayneeJay's 66 symptoms list along with her many suggestions including vitamin B6 supplements.

    Please know you are not alone, although when in the throws of this not much makes us feel better right away. Eventually we will land and this will be a thing of the past.

    Take care Jennifer.

    Annie xx

     

    • jennifer85396
      jennifer85396 annieschaefer

      Edited

      I am so overwhelmed with the women on this site who take the time to write such wonderful replies.  This has been a God send!!! thank you so much!!! ox

       

    • manda16171
      manda16171 jennifer85396

      Edited

      I cant say anymore than I agree 110%. Some symptoms I didnt even realise were symptoms. I too have been dwelling on negative past experiences & I am also greatful for the sharing

       

    • FemaleBrain
      FemaleBrain jennifer85396

      Edited

      I agree, Jennifer, this site is a God send.

      The last Dr I went to listened to me rattle off my perimenopausal symptoms then promptly asked me if I was seeing a psychiatrist. Made me feel terrible! I persisted though, told her I knew my symptoms were from whacky hormone levels and she prescribed Prempro, which has helped immensely. I am a mild-mannered, cheerful, reasonable woman but I feel like sticking my tongue out at her and yelling, "See? I told you it was hormonal!" Lol. (BTW...I switched Drs).

    • Guest
      Guest FemaleBrain

      Edited

      This happened to me, too!  I told my now ex-gyn about my peri symptoms and she said to go to a psychiatrist and get on medication.  I am also switching doctors.  I think a big part of this gyn’s problem is that she’s my age and in denial about going through this herself.  Whatever the case, she was rude and unsympathetic, two things we can’t afford to deal with while going through this.
    • LCat
      LCat Guest

      Edited

      Hi Liz, 

      I think the reason your ex gym behaves like this is that she probably been lucky and hasn’t yet experienced what you have experienced.  Nevertheless there is no excuse to ever be rude, in particular not towards patients who are clearly suffering. 

    • LCat
      LCat Guest

      Edited

      HI Liz,  I just realise you’re not  the only one who got  this  unsympathetic reaction from their doctor.   The safest bet may be  to never  give any doctor any of those details of how horrible  these symptoms feel, unless you’ve reassured yourself that the doctor has empathy as well as emotional intelligence. 
    • shay68419
      shay68419 annieschaefer

      Edited

      Annie, I love the plane ride description that you wrote about. I will be 50 in a few months and like most of the ladies on this forum, I'm amazed at the chaos that declining hormones can reek on a woman's life. As a healthcare provider I use to hear some of the symptoms that women would complain about in the office but I never thought past the notion of it being "just that time of their life". But now that I'm experiencing it, I wish that I can turn back time and give each one of them a big hug and more support.

      My symptoms range from PMS (on steriods) mood swings, burning tongue, night sweats, hot flashes, electrical shock sensation in my right foot,slow digestion, acid reflux, generalized muscle aches, a burning sensation on my lower legs, feet, and hands, brain fog, decrease concentration, and now muscle twitching! 😢. And I still have a monthly menses!!! I only have anxiety when the symptoms would appear out of nowhere and I didn't know what was causing them leading me to think like so many of these ladies, that I may have a horrible disease or illness. I find that my symptoms are worse after consuming foods that are not healthy or after a lack of exercise. All in all, I may have one decent week out of a month when I am not plagued with symptoms.

      I have a sister that is 2 years older than I and the only symptom that she complains about is hotflashes.

      I had my two children (7 & 4) late in life (age 42 & 45) and I've heard or read that it can make a difference in how the body experience change later in life. I don't believe it to be actual facts especially after reading most of these post from women of various ages experiencing the same or even more symptoms than I am.

      I'm truly grateful to have come across this post because it gives me a great deal of a piece of mind that someone else truly understands because most healthcare providers don't have a clue as to how hard this is or can be on a person's life.

      Thank you again and much love, many hugs, and a sweet kiss to all women out there who are on this plane with us, about to board this plane, or those who have no earthly idea the trip that awaits them.

      Shay

    • treasa1069
      treasa1069 shay68419

      Edited

      Hi I'm just now finding this site...and OMG spot on. I am 50 and having every issue you described I thought I was alone, because didn't have much family, and they sure didn't speak on the changes a women goes through as we age. Sometimes I think I'm about to have a heart attack because the anxiety gets terrible. Also I have notice a week before each menstrual, I get this feeling of no energy, eyes seem to tire easy, a little dizzy, and aches in parts of my body making think I have arthritis all threw my bones.......... I was that person that didn't tire easy very active and now I feel as if i'm not in the same body......

    • julie39600
      julie39600 treasa1069

      Edited

      It can be very scary especially when usually quite a chilled person before. I never had anxiety and even when happens I feel ok just my body does weird stuff have no control over. I'm 5 years in now nearly and things are better but will be glad once over.

    • karen65574
      karen65574 treasa1069

      Edited

      you have just described me !!! its so draining , dont know how we carry on xx

    • clair11942
      clair11942 shay68419

      Edited

      Shay64819

      Hope you don't mind me asking a personal question,

      Ive never been able to conceive, I had a few tests through the years like a laproscopy which said all was fine etc

      So I kept telling myself it will happen when it's meant to, and didn't bother with more tests, when I mentioned this to my doctor, she said why didn't you say you wanted a child and I thought "well like any normal human I wanted to sort out my own health first and not overload the doctors!,

      I'm 43 years old ill be 44 at the end of July,

      The gynecologist I spoke to just said to me i think with your periods starting to become irregular, I highly doubt you will have children and sorry you don't qualify for IVF and the cut off age is 43 and you are 43 now,

      I just can't belive ill never be a mother, I've focused too much of my life looking after others and putting them first and I'm not paying the price for that x

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