I can't take this anymore! Is there any way to get help?
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hi I'm 23 years old and for the past year I've been suffering from palpitations. I've been to many cardiologists the last one diagnosed me with inappropriate sinus tachycardia. Ever since that diagnosis I suddenly became ultra aware of my own heartbeat. That caused the beginning of a string of panic attacks. I tried therapy but it didn't work for me. Then out of the blue I started suffering from intense nocturnal panic attacks which caused my heart beat to reach 175-180 beats and stay like that for like 20 minutes. Last night I had one of the most potent, debilitating, extreme panic attacks I've ever experienced. I was crying for help and my mother rushed in. I was drenched in sweat crying like a moron cursing and begging I was completely erratic. My pulse was around 170 and as soon as I saw that it made my panic attack even worse. 40 minutes and half a xanax later I started to calm down. My mom seemed totally disappointed. You see I've always been a winner. Back in high-school I was a valedictorian full of dreams and ambitions, I ve won many international contests, I was a driven person full of life caring about my community and right now I'm just an anxious loser stuck at home. I'm even scared to go to the grocery store all by myself in case I have a panic attack. I've also stopped driving and I m scared of travelling. Basically I can't do anything other than being homebound. I'm not suicidal, yet I think that death is my sole redemption. I don't see a way out of this maze. And my family is just tired. All they see in me is a wreck. All I care about is my goddamn heart rate. When I was a kid my dad's brother died from a heart attack before my eyes. He was only 24. That thought me that young people can also have heart attacks. That's why I worry so extensively. I'm sorry if my post is exhausting you. I just needed to talk. All of my friends have abandoned me since I dropped out of college. I couldn't get on with it. I flunked every test my palpitations and panicky thoughts wouldn't let me concentrate. I felt it was best to drop out. Even temporarily. My life is going downhill and there's nothing I can do to stop it. It's got to the point we're i get 3-4 panic attacks per day. This cardiophobia has ruined me inside out. I just feel helpless, I sob every night till I fall asleep and then I wake up again having a panic attack. It's a living hell! It's like someone has cursed me to become the opposite of who I used to be. Now I feel like the most epic loser in the world.
Thank you for reading this.
1 like, 16 replies
katie80690 penel9704
Posted
you need medication other than xanax
ccosta penel9704
Edited
You are letting it ruin your life. It's your own mind protecting you from something that's not even there, and it's all anxiety. I suggest another cardiologist just in case your diagnosis was under or over.
What happens after the panic attack and your heart shooting up to 170-180? You are still well alive and breathing. You see, your fear and isolation will only continue to drive the cycle. Do not stay home because of it. Take small steps but you should start living your life. so what if your heart rate shoots up when you're out? It's going to go back down just like the other times.
penel9704 ccosta
Posted
I know. Whenever I'm calm I realise how absurd these thoughts are. But unfortunately I can't help it. My panic attacks occur mostly at night while I'm asleep so I don't have much control over it.
david76205 penel9704
Edited
you are too hard on yourself. you are putting too much pressure on yourself and too much on what others think of you. xanex is a quick fix and does nothing for your long term anxiety. you need a long term anti-anxiety or depression drug. i am sorry about your heart and i know it causes you to worry, but you are not going to die, so get that out of your head. your anxiety is causing your heart to beat faster. you have to figure a way to stop thinking about it. so you're imperfect, so what, join the club, nobody is perfect and you can not expect yourself to be. the human body is fragile but resilient, you will make it and be just fine. i would suggest talking to someone, preferrably a therapist to let your worries out. they will give you advice and teach you how to control your anxiety. it may come down to you needing medication to help you control the anxiety for the long term. i take xanex for panic attacks, its fast acting, but i also take lexapro and latuda, for long term anxiety symptoms. you cant take xanex all the time, its not healthy. but you are not alone, many of us have the same issues with anxiety. stay away from caffeine and sugar as they only amplify your anxiety symptoms. try to relax, calm down and tell yourself you have control over this. find a therapist and let someone help you. you will feel better in no time and be able to be your excellent self again. write back, let me know how you made out.
penel9704 david76205
Posted
Thank you so much for your comment. I know you're right I've always pushed myself to take the extra mile. And unfortunately it backfired in a very detrimental and ugly way. As of anti depression medication. I forgot to mention that after a botched trimester of therapy I decided to go to a psychiatrist. She prescribed celexa. At first I thought it started to work but after a couple of days it only made me blank. I mean I was there but at the same time I wasn't. It's a very sneaky drug. Plus it gave me a terrible psoriasis like rash and it worsened my palpitations. So basically my palpitations were still there I was just too " stoned" to care about it. After 3 weeks I was off it. I wouldn't try it again. I don't want to end up being a Guinea pig. It's really harmful to switch medication especially psychiatric medication because it brings about significant chemical changes to the brain. I'm planning on seeing another therapist once the quarantine is finally over. My main nightmare right now is to deal with nocturnal panic attacks. This demon robs me of my sleep and my mental peace. Imagine waking up in the dead of night, having hot flashes feeling your heart pounding like a driller. I wish things were as they used to be back when I was carefree living a normal life.
david76205 penel9704
Posted
penel, i have been on Celexa. what i am confused about, is if after 3 weeks you quit taking it, it takes two to three weeks to get into your system to become effective. think maybe you didnt give it enough time to do its job. i can appreciate you not wanting to be on medication, but there are a lot of good medicines out there. it took me several tries but i found the right medicines for my anxiety. i am on lexepro and Latuda and i dont feel tired or like a zombie while taking them. so you may want to rethink the medicine thing, because the medicines now also help regulate your sleep as well. i seriously dont think you gave it the proper time to do its job and in the meantime, because the celexa was still dormant, you still had your original anxiety symptoms acting up. Honestly i didnt like Celexa because it made me feel like a zombie, but my doctor did not give up on me and put me on Effexor which worked great until i decided i didnt need it anymore and went off of it on my own. 2 years later, the anxiety came back and i tried yo go back on effexor, only this time it did not work for me because my body built some type of immunity to it, and thats how i ended up on Lexapro and Latuda (with a xanex chaser for times of panic). the lexapro controls my anxiety and depression, and the latuda controls my mood and regulates my sleep. your anxiety attacks are very severe and you should think about trying a different group of meds. and you can still make therapy appointments for a therapist while this pandemic is going on, they have virtual sessions over the computer, which i really like. so you may want to check into that as well.
CoolBreeze penel9704
Posted
How much xanax are you on and how long have you taken it? A longer acting benzo like valium might be more appropriate for anxiety / panic management IMO. Have you ever tried meditation? I have found some success with daily meditation and light to moderate aerobic exercise.
Are you male or female? Females tend to suffer with these type things more than males generally. Prior to when this 1st started happening, were you under any kind of stress?
penel9704 CoolBreeze
Posted
Hello there and thank you for your reply. I'm a female. I've tried meditation. It only helps momentarily. In fact I've been listening to a panic attacks hypnosis track on amazon for the past 15 days. I thought it was going to help but then just a few nights later I experienced one of the scariest panic attacks I've ever had. It took about an hour to calm myself and I wasn't able to go back to sleep after that.
david76205 CoolBreeze
Edited
coolbreeze, i actually did some research about females versus males with anxiety. they both suffer from anxiety about the same, the difference comes in where as women will go to the doctor for help, more men (due to social stigma) will try to self medicate with alcohol, marijuana or other recreational drugs.
CoolBreeze penel9704
Posted
I am just curious penel. How long have you been on the benzodiazepine Xanax? Do you take it daily or PRN?
k08610 penel9704
Edited
The story of my life, your just reliving it. At my worst I was near 300 beats per minute with twins and a 7 year old. I was 26 years old and my anxiety was so bad that I ruined my electrolyte balance, no one could figure it out until it got so bad I couldn't walk, so my husband took me to the Mayo clinic and it was there that they told me I was losing sodium from my kidney's . This was from all the anxiety, stress, lack of nutrition and lack of proper mental rest. The extra sodium helped and I slowly improved, I still had anti- anxiety meds which I only used for massive attacks. My attacks went from 3 a day down to once every few months. When I have a lot of stress and didn't eat right I fall right back into the same problem.
In the beginning I always tried to find ways to distract myself but everything was a reminder, I would see people climbing stairs, jogging, playing sports and would cry because I couldn't do that, that's how bad I was, and there was nothing wrong with my heart. I had the top cardiologist at the Mayo Clinic look at my heart, and he said it was very strong and healthy. That right there shows you the power of the mind.
My suggestion to you is start slow and build your way up. I use to count the side walk blocks to get back home from picking up my daughter at school, instead of looking down the whole block, I was shaky my heart would skip beats but I did it. It was awful but you have to start somewhere and build on that.You have a long life ahead of you trust me you will regret the time wasted. My heart aches for your pain, but I promise you you can beat this. Your not a loser, your just someone with a big heart who feels what others don't.
penel9704 k08610
Edited
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and thank you for your kind words they mean a lot to me! 300 beats per minute! My heart literally skipped a beat when I read that! You're a fighter!I would have died. You're right it seems that some people, people like us are a lot more sensitive. Unfortunately, being a sensitive person is considered to be a bad thing these days.
I too tremble at the thought of engaging in any exercise that would elevate my heart rate. That's why I've stopped working out. I tried once to get on a treadmill and as soon as my heart hit 140 I suffered a glorious panic attack. And then I fainted. It's crazy! It's like a literal curse where I can do anything but sit at home all day. I do hope you're in a better place than mine. You seem like a great person.
k08610 penel9704
Edited
Thank you, please take care of yourself. I suggest a functional doctor to guide you through this. They look at you as a whole and see what's missing in your body. I had a lot of nutritional deficiencies, through prayer I found this nutrition doctor who was more of a functional MD and her advise along with Mayo clinics diagnosis is what saved me. Anxiety is so powerful, they don't cover all its webs on google or anywhere on the internet. I would also avoid benzos at all cost. Try 5 HTP and natural GABA. Also magnesium for sleep, it also calms heart rate. And dont forget you are not alone in this.
jan34534 penel9704
Edited
I am sorry that you are feeling so hopeless and fearful. I am glad that you shared this with us because you definitely need to express how you are feeling!
did the doctor also tell you that inappropriate sinus tachycardia is not life-threatening? if not, the doctor should have told you that. Also there is no proof that it increases the risk of heart problems.
Your uncle who died of a heart attack at an early age must have had other things going on that caused that to happen that has nothing to do with you.. Sinus tachycardia by itself is not dangerous.
Its important to do fact checking when you are feeling anxious.
Fact number one is that IST is not life-threatening
Fact Number two is that you are still the same person you were before. Just have major anxiety at the moment.
Fact Number three is that this panic and anxiety can definitely be reversed and managed.
When we get scary thoughts, that leads to negative worst case scenario thinking. And it doesn’t have to be that way.
You are absolutely NOT a loser! You are just filled with anxiety and fear. You are still the same person you were when you had accomplishments.
This is just a temporary setback which can be definitely turned around! You are a young man with your whole life ahead of you. It’s just a matter of putting this into perspective and learning how to MANAGE your fear so that it doesn’t CONTROL your life and you can get on with your life.
You said that there is nothing you can do about this. there definitely ARE things that you can do about this and get back on track. I’m not sure if you said you had counseling but If not, I would highly recommend it. A good counselor can help you manage this so that you get back in control. If you saw a counselor already and didn’t get much out of it, find another one.
There are thousands of people with inappropriate sinus tachycardia walking around in living their lives working, raising families, enjoying friends, etc.
perhaps your doctor could prescribe something that would help to lower the heart rate so you feel more comfortable.
I know for a fact that when we focus on a symptom, that symptom gets more intense. What you put in your mind whether it’s good or bad, it will EXPAND!
You May just have to accept that you may feel these palpitations and instead of getting panicky about it, just accept it because it’s not harmful. tell yourself…" I am OK. This will pass. I can handle this "then do the breathing exercise I mentioned below.
THERE are some great calming meditations on YouTube for anxiety and panic.
The KEY to relaxing the heart rate is in proper breathing during panic. There is a great short meditation for this. She guide you through it and it’s awesome. it helps lower the heart rate and gives you a more relaxed feeling.
WHEN you feel panic or severe anxiety, search for something called "stop panic attacks now" on YouTube. Then scroll down to one called " don’t panic" in black letters. Listen to this and do what she tells you. once you learn this you can do this anywhere without anybody even knowing.
So basically,
1.TALK to a therapist that you feel comfortable with. This is difficult to manage alone.
2.listen to some meditations for panic, anxiety, sleep, and self affirmations. . And especially the one on breathing.
3.keep busy to refocus on other things
4.Have A " matter of fact " attitude about IST , meaning you know you may feel a rapid heart rate but you also know that it’s not going to hurt you.
5.Remember that this is not your fault! Millions of people have anxiety and panic that come on out of nowhere.
6.Remind yourself on a daily basis of who you truly are! You are NOT fear or anxiety or panic. You are a young man who has many talents and aspirations. You are not going to let fear and negativity ruin that.! you are not going to let IST control your life! You can still have a great wonderful life with it or without it.
Remember, what you put in your mind, whether it’s positive or negative, it’s going to EXPAND.
The only thing separating you from living the life you deserve is one word which is FEAR. And fear will strangle us if we allow it to.
BE DETERMINED to have a great life. Be a fighter for yourself to find solutions! Never ever ever give up! YOU can do this! ❤
tara77076 penel9704
Posted
How are you now? I too have inappropriate sinus tachycardia and it is by far the toughest thing to go through! It is very scary and hard to ignore when your own heart is beating as though you are running a marathon just sitting there.. that is enough to trigger a panic attack or have all day anxiety. I always remember having a faster HR as a kiddo, but it did not bother me as i was put on metoprolol 50 mgs at 15? Well, I took it everyday up until I was 25 and 6-7 months pregnant. My OB sent me to cardiologist because i was feeling short of breath.. he did ECG and told me to get off them as nothing was wrong with my heart. So I stopped... well fast forward to having my son.. all was good and healthy baby.. but 6 months PP I started feeling BAD. I was abnormally tired, irritable, anxious, restless and went to ER. They kept saying I had PP depression! NO I DID NOT! I was a new mommy wanting to be home with my son rather than there.. went to ER 3 times before I finally got snappy. They then looked further and BOOM hyperthyroid... went to Endo and was diagnosed with Graves Disease/ hyperthyroidism. This TOO causes a high heart rate that mimics IST. long story short even when my thyroid is level I still have IST, but get your FULL thyroid panel done! Make sure it's not just TSH as most docs only check that demand full panel... other than that, how are you today? Better, worse, same? I feel your pain, I dont have answers, but I can relate from experience.. I would NOT wish this on my worst enemy.. if this was not an issues my anxiety would be nearly gone. This condition worsens anxiety by a football field length or more!