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i cant handle the diagnosis of menopause at 32

Posted , 9 users are following.

carrotcake
carrotcake

a month ago the doc told me im slowly entering premenopause. im 32. my new tests suggest im in menopause already. 

im finding it very difficult to accept the diagnosis. google says early menopause causes early death, heart problems..and so many bad things. so ...should i just wait to die?

i cant discuss it with none. this is such a delicate matter that im not comfortable telling none! i told my mum who cant stop crying..and that makes me feel even worse.

but i cant discuss it with friends. you know people talk and dont really understand these rare disorders..how can i tell my 32 year old friends im in menopause? all of them are either married pregnant or in a relationship, i cant shatter their dreams, and...if i tell them they will never introduce me to any of their male friends, for obvious reasons!!

i feel like someone has locked me in a room and theres no way out.

i quit my job because of that so i can move in with my parents. 

i feel my brain will explode. i cant stop crying for the past month. i cant sleep, ive stopped eating. 

i tried telling my cousin but she got very nervous...and then i tried telling a very good friend and she dismissed it saying 'oh come on we are only 32'.

sad  help? 

3 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • vicky77852
    vicky77852 carrotcake

    Posted

    Sorry for feeling so bad! I’m 42 and diagnosed a year ago. It’s a devastating diagnosis! I am on hrt. My early meno was a total nightmare for me at first but it help me to reevaluate my whole life before it’s too late...smile
    • carrotcake
      carrotcake vicky77852

      Posted

      sad i dont feel like doing anything any more. i dont want to go out with friends, i feel less of a human being. ive stopped feeling like a girl. im not a girl anymore. my friends wanted to hook me up with some of their single friends, what am i gonna do now? i dont want to date anyone, my vagina is now useless. and what should i tell them? hey no more eggs here....go find another girl with eggs. i feel embarrassed this happened to me.
    • ImagineOneDay
      ImagineOneDay carrotcake

      Posted

      I don't think your vagina has no use. Vigina is not just for eggs. If you enjoy sex, you can still enjoy a relationship& have sex. Also not all men want to have a baby anyway. I hear some women still enjoy sex during perimenapause and some enjoy after. You can still have a partner and enjoy your relationship. Don't just concentrate on menapause! Enjoy your life. You are STILL YOUNG!

    • carrotcake
      carrotcake ImagineOneDay

      Posted

      the doc said i have no eggs left. i havent read any article that sex you can enjoy sex after perimenopause. all women say they can no longer have sex and many end up getting divorced. which makes sense in  a way..cos if your vagina is dried up...then thats it. end of story.
    • maisie05
      maisie05 carrotcake

      Posted

      Believe me your sex life does not have to end during perimenopause or after. I'm 59 and living proof. You should be prescribed hrt at your young age. To protect your heart and bone health. If you can get testosterone prescribed it helps with your libido. Nothing needs to dry up. Take Omega 7, do some research.

      I understand you must be feeling really sad, we are all here to help you. What country are you in? Are you able to make an appointment with a menopause specialist?

      Take some time to come to terms with your diagnosis and keep chatting on here as it really helps. 

    • maisie05
      maisie05

      Posted

      Also I'm not sure I would tell my friends, only maybe a good close one. They would find it hard to understand and may treat you differently. If it amuses them then they wouldn't be able to offer support. You want them to treat you the same as always. Find ways to help yourself and find an inner strength.

    • vicky77852
      vicky77852 carrotcake

      Posted

      It’s not your fault carrot! It’s just happened! I was thinking that I am so unlucky too! I’m single and childless too! I’m grateful for hrt, it helps me to replace the estrogen my ovaries doesn’t produce. I told my diagnosis only to my parents and to my best friend. I don’t want to share it with others too.
    • carrotcake
      carrotcake vicky77852

      Posted

      vicky youre always replying to my comments and my concerns, and im really thankful.

      did hrt help? how? did you see any difference? what kind of difference? 

    • vicky77852
      vicky77852 carrotcake

      Posted

      Hi! The only thing that helps me and I’m grateful for is hrt. All symptoms are gone, I have no insomnia anymore, I have sex drive and my skin is better than ever! I notice some muscle loss but I think it’s because I don’t train so often as before and I’ll try harder. I saw a friend yesterday and he said that I looked so good and what I have done to my face. I answered that I sleep better and eat healthier! smile
    • carrotcake
      carrotcake vicky77852

      Posted

      my mum was on hrt for decades due to some  other problems. and she told me the same, that im gonna be pretty, and i will get happier..etc. but its just mum talkssmile

      im gonna be with her from tomorrow, which makes me feel safer and possibly that will calm me down.

      thank you for saying that hrt helps. that means there is help.. i need to stop googling it cos i think i have all the symptoms i read lol

    • vicky77852
      vicky77852 carrotcake

      Posted

      There are a lot of pages at Facebook with ladies with POF and early menopause who take hrt for many years! They look younger from their peers and they go on with their lives happily! smile
    • carrotcake
      carrotcake vicky77852

      Posted

      yeah i saw them, but im too shy to join lol. maybe once ive mentally calmed down..this week will be bad. i have so many doc appointments. i already feel exhausted and my week hasnt even started yet lol
  • ImagineOneDay
    ImagineOneDay carrotcake

    Posted

    Hi, I am sorry to read how you are feeling. But first of all do not assume you will die early because you have early menapause. You have a life ahead of you! Are you sure the diagnose is correct? Do you want to get it checked again?

    I assume you haven't got a partner or a child? Would you like to have a child one day? ( I am not trying to upset you it trying to help. ) If so you can consider getting some if your eggs frozen. I hear some people do. Please try to be positive. Even if you are in menapause you are who you are and there is a whole life ahead of you! With or without a partner, with or without a child. You can still enjoy life and there will be still people around you men&women enjoying your company. Perimenapause /menapause is a big change but it won't be forever. Take good care.

  • jackie92665
    jackie92665 carrotcake

    Posted

    Hi, sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. Have you thought about HRT? If you can take HRT then I think I've read it helps prevent the health problems that happen with an early menopause. I had my menopause in December (surgical) I'm 48 and it hit me really hard and made me really depressed,so I can't imagine how difficult it is for you. I'm on HRT and it's making the physical symptoms a bit better but mentally it's hard. I feel like I've been locked in a room too. You should tell your friends because you need their support. Being able to talk about it really helps. Talking to the ladies on here really helps too x

    • carrotcake
      carrotcake jackie92665

      Posted

      it helps here more, i tried telling friends yesterday..and they just stopped texting back. im away so my friends are not here...because they dont believe me. they are laughing at me saying its impossible. 

      but i dont feel comfy telling them im menopausal at 32...the reason is that its an embarrassing diagnosis at this age, but also, it will mean  they will never meet me to any of their friends. i dont want to be viewed like someone who cant have sex or is infertile :s. because soon, i wont be able to have sex. 

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