i cant seem to get myself together at all

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hi there i am a woman in my 50s for the past 6 months i seem to have lost interest in absolutely everything,,,getting dressed cleaning just feel totally numb and cant even go in another room in my flat.....ive been prescribed mertizapane but think they are making me worse...i just cant flip the on switch on at all...sitting on my sofa unable to move has anyone else had this problem and any suggestions on how to move forward would be gratefully received...many thanks

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  • Posted

    Hi Lesley, I'm so sorry to hear this. I can relate to this as I have also experienced the same feelings. Having suffered from a depressive illness for 16 years (perhaps longer); I know that there have been times of feeling so low I struggle to move. I believe there is a medical term for this symtom of depression too, so it's quite common and you're not alone :-)! I found that Aripiprozole (abilify) helped me with this element of the illness, in the sense it gave me some 'get up and go' and started a positive cycle. I hope this helps a bit?
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    • Posted

      Hi Sarah thank you so much for your reply its good to know i am not alone with this even though i am sad that you are going through the same thing....i just find it hard to understand why i feel like this i dont even want to get dressed or do anything keep thinking it is going to pass but every day the same...its driving me mad..i think i have probably suffered from depression all my life it has just all caught up now badly ...but i thank you for your kind words and advice...kind regards ...
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  • Posted

    I have been where you are so I wish you all the best. We all need to get into a position where we can handle whatever life can throw at us.

     

    Exasperated at my inability to cope with my anxieties I developed a simple technique that has allowed me to gain a sense of normality in my life. I am a different person from who I was a couple of years ago.

    This technique uses a simple form of visualisation where we take myself out of the equation and work only with the anxiety. This is different to most available therapies in that it isn’t about changing our outlook. I don’t have years of research and a cabinet full of case studies to support my self-developed technique but I do have a level of inner peace that a couple of years ago I would have never thought possible. As this has had a massive impact on my life I am wondering whether it can do the same for others. I am curious as to whether this is something worth developing.

    I am not selling anything instead asking whether you will be willing to give this a try before letting me know the outcome. I hope it can help. Obviously I can’t guarantee this but there is the chance that it will.

    The technique is based on the premise that anxiety is an energy echo of a previous event, which will disperse when we allow it. The problem is that we deny the anxiety the opportunity to leave us alone because we think we have to be in control and have the answers.

    We don't! Only the anxiety knows what it needs to disperse so my technique is based around allowing this to happen.

    This is what I did:

    I looked at the anxiety as separate from me and when faced with an unpleasant level of anxiety I said to it: “I don’t know what you are saying or need so I am going to allow you to do and say whatever you want”.

    I then visualised stepping away from the anxiety. In my mind I separated from my physical body leaving the anxiety behind to express in whatever way it wanted. I did nothing to interfere. I gave it the freedom to do whatever it wanted. I didn’t speak with it, debate with it or try to control it. Instead I simply stood back and observed.

    At first the idea of letting the anxiety run riot was scary but instead of causing more problems the anxiety had its say then went. After an initial rush, it took seconds for the energy to disperse. After repeating this technique with every subsequent anxiety attack it didn’t take long before my life became calm enough to engage again.

    I am not sure whether everyone can visualise stepping away in the same way as I can, so I am not sure how this will work for others. This is why I am looking for feedback. I have discovered an alternative way of stepping back but I want to see how well the visualisation method works first. I am also here to offer advice.

    The key is stepping back and allowing the anxiety to express in whatever way it wants. DO NOT INTERFERE!

    I hope this works for others in the way it has worked for me and please let me know if you require more information.Take care and I wish you all the best.

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  • Posted

    50yr old male ..focussed these past 12yrs in being a single lone parent. Made redundant from my Youth Worker job in 2010 ...

    And I feel like you!

    Best wishes Lesley and thanks for posting..

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    • Posted

      Hi Karl..thanks for your response.......well done for being a single parent that is something to be really proud of,,,,yes agreed unemployment does not help as its hard to motivate yourself.......best wishes back at you and thanks for the comment...im still stuck on sofa ...its driving me mad!!...maybe when i go mad enough i will actually move...hey im laughing now so thank you.......lets hope we can get it sorted soon nice one!!
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    • Posted

      You are sat on your sofa ..me I've crawled out of bed and now sat in my car. Not going anywhere..just sat in my car wondering is this life? Its as if all motivation, confidence, optimism has been emptied out of me. Makes me resentful of people around who seem to be living their lives when I can't. Still I guess I should be grateful for the occasional days when I feel a little more at peace and contented. Life never used to be this way ...I used to have a lot of get up and go.

      Best wishes Lesley ..

      p.s. If you lived closer you could come sit in my car with me instead of your sofa ..ha (that's me trying to be funny ...nope I'm still not smiling)

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    • Posted

      well at least you got outside and sat in your car so go you!!!....yep can totally relate to being resentful about "normal" people which is awful as i like yourself never felt like this before...i was always the life and soul of everything.....wonder where she went.......at least you are trying to be funny so go you.....think we should swop the sofa and car!!..take it easy and thanks for reply!!
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  • Posted

    Hi there Lesley.  Yes I know the feeling only too well.  Depression does take a lot away from us.  Just wait for this episode to pass.  It will, in time.  There are ups and downs.  Look after yourself, and just say to yourself this is time for me to relax and just chill.  Don't worry too much about doing things. 

    I have had depression for a very long time.  If the medication is making you worse, then perhaps it is the wrong one for you.  We all react differently.  Some suit us, others dont.  If you have not been taking it long, then perhaps it is just not into your system completely.  If you have been on it a while and it is not making any difference to your depression, go back to your doctor, and tell him. 

    There have been days when I just stared into space, and could do nothing.  It is usual with depression.  It slows us down completely.  I am a lot better now than I was, so take heart, you will not be like this for ever.  It will pass.

    Take care

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    • Posted

      thank you Anne for you kind words makes me feel like i am not alone..and great news that it will pass although it dosent feel like right now.....still staring into space incapable of movement.....so me slowing down is a symptom of depression thats good to hear thought i was going mad!!...many thanks for that....take care yourself
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  • Posted

    Hi if you have been on the meds for a while and they aren't helping then you need to try a different one.   I tried prozac and mirtazapine then finally settled on sertraline.  It can be trial and error to find the one that suits you best.

    As far as motivation goes,  depression is a very strange illness in that you have to do something first before you get motivated and no the other way around.   Do something very small like go and wash up then gradually build it up.  That's the way to deal with it.   Not easy I know but it does work.  x

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    • Posted

      hi there thanks for your message...this is my second antidepressent so i guess its not the right one for me then...and totally agree on your motivation comment....starting on something really simple like washing up  can get you going it is very backwards!!.....cheers for your advice and take care...
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  • Posted

    Hi Lesley,

    I am also feeling the same although i have a temporary job which i absolutely hate and causes me more anxiety.I have just been off for 2 weeks on sick leave and dreading the thought of returning tonight.I am sure the job makes my depression and anxiety much worse and i want to leave this job but have no confidence at all now to try and secure further employment.It is like my mind has a total block, i look at jobs but never apply i just freeze up completely.My wife has been very supportive to date but i feel she is now losing patience with my inability to cope with life.I tried antidepressants in the past but they just made me feel worse and very suicidal.I hope you find a way out of it although i can not advise you what to do i do sympathise wholeheartedly with your situation.I just want to give up on my life but know i can not as it would destroy all my family, my daughter just about to begin her gcse exams and i feel so bad i am the way i am.I am just trying to keep it together until her exams are over and hope she does well.I have had anxiety and depression a few times now but never been as bad as this i dont think.Good Luck.

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    • Posted

      Hi Gary thanks for the reply much appreciated..yes its very hard feeling like this.....im not loving the antidepressents either.....remember you have to get through this for your family hope this helps...ii dont have any family so think thats why i spiral downwards so give thanks for them...easier said than done i know when you are in a black hole as we call it..i too feel like my friends have had enough of me so i guess thats incentive enough to keep going unless we will have no support system at all,,,so take care and keep on trying...sending you positive thoughts...keep going if you can...whats the other option...im telling myself this as i type!!..take care
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