1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Alcohol Consumption

I consider withdrawals to be the devil

Posted , 13 users are following.

Misssy2
Misssy2

My withdrawal from alcohol has gotten so much worse in the last years.  I am on Day 2 right now from withdrawing....I drank  1 week, day and night...did not eat food....if I wasn't sleeping...I was drinking...I was drinking beer.

Day 1 - I could barely drink anything...everything tasted horrible.  I managed some soup (about 3 tsps)....some yogurt and a glass of Gatorade.

I was lucky enough to have lorazepam to get me thru shakes and sweating.

Day 2 - chills...still no great appetite...didn't eat till 3:30 this afternoon.

Trying to choke down the water. 

The psychological toll it has taken on me is even worse...total panic all the time...alot of anxiety...feeling like a failure to everyone around me. 

I know from experience that I will feel better every hour of every day that I stay sober...but the Nausea this time is so unbearable (sure I have pancreatitis again).

My boyfriend must be so sick of me saying how sick I am...moaning...can't help around the house...I felt lucky to take a shower today.  I am ANGRY...to the point where I dont care what he thinks...but deep down i just physically and mentall feel sick inside and out.

I had 8 years sobriety and gave it up....I had 2 months and gave it up....I don't know why I keep going back...because everytime I drink I end up this way or worse.

I hope anyone that feels like me today...knows they are not alone.  Because I feel alone...and like such a waste of breath.

2 likes, 133 replies

133 Replies

Prev
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi amo and all the other great people on here...every day sober...no matter how MANY....OR HOW FEW. is a huge achievement and something to be proud of....even when we STOP AND START...we are putting our heart and soul into it....

    The best part is all of the genuine and wonderful support on this forum and others that are similar...it is very hard to feel that you are alone, so to be able to chat to others is a real .comfort...I wish all of us on here..a happy and very, VERY healthy life and a wonderful....inspirational....and exceptional future....for those of us who do not succeed, we have tried our best, so are still worth as much....in my heart, thoughts and prayers every single person who has or still is struggling with this SAD AND SOULLESS addiction...hugs to us all....always....Deirdre.xxxxxx

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi missy, I have no idea either why my post is being moderated, and many thanks for your kind comment....

    ANTABUSE...is a very powerful drug that needs to be prescribed and taken with great caution....even the small amount of ethanol in say....mouthwash or deodorant can cause a massive. Toxic reaction...it should never be given to anyone who may slip and drink.....my psychiatrist would NEVER prescribe it for me, as I was deemed to great a risk......

    Once again, to all on this forum, you are all WONDERFUL and amazing, courageous people....Big hugs for every single one of us....Deirdre xxx

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Thats SO true....my stupid psychiatrist did prescribe it to me back then knowing I was "high risk"....I swear...that was the worst experience I ever "physically" (medically) had......ME..RESTRAINED because I was VIOLENT.  What???????  If you knew me....you would not believe it.

      And I remember the cops at the door guarding me....(while I was strapped to a bed)...WHAT was I going to do?? Strapped to a BED? COPS? Really?  LOL.....I remember thinking that we were being invaded by some foreign terrorists..and I was trying to warn them.

      #1..I know NOTHING...about world stuff....Actually someone asked me if it was safe for me to be on this site because it is a UK site.....My response...I DONT KNOW....I don't see a problem with it at all...I am very ignorant to "history" and "politics" topics.

      I find it kinda fun on this site...everyone talks "different" than me....I learn new things...you guys learn from us too....I don't see any harm and until I do....I stay smile

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2

      Posted

      But what I was trying to say was by drinking on the ANTABUSE...I also SUDDENLY knew about terrorists...etc.....it was the oddest experience ever....."terrorist" wasn't even in my vocabulary....actually when the US had a problem with them.....my mouth was dropped to the floor I didn't want to believe that - stuff like that even happens except for in bad dreams.
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Misssy2

    Posted

    Good morning to all of us lovely, lovely people on this very caring forum....

    I just want to say MANY THANKS MODERATOR..for passing my post...this is such a wonderful site... I would have so happy if forums like this one were around ....when I had a terrible, terrible alcohol problem....I had NO-ONE that I could confide in....

    These forums mean a great deal...to......a great deal of people....

    THANK YOU.....THANK YOU.....THANK YOU XXX

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Good morning D....I was on another site 10 years ago that was very helpful too and they shut down because of funding.  So, I understand that you were alone in getting sober...I never was and always needed a board like this.  I am thankful for the board too and everyone here.

      I STILL have the runs at 11 days sober....I'm trying so hard to drink fluids...and eat blan foods.  The only thing I do is I DO have coffee when I wake up.....but its so frustrating...I literally feel "crappy" still.

  • am03922
    am03922 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi everyone

    Nice to read all the replies and everyone's stories. I have exhausted every alcohol support group in this area and am back at the original one with a new worker. She came to my GP to plead my case as he didn't want me on Antabuse in case I drank on it.

    I go to SMART as well have been for over a year it has changed though and I am not sure I am getting anything from it anymore. I still go though as I fear my GP would not be happy to continue the Antabuse without any support.

    I have pulled some quality stunts over the last 6 years including being in hospital 3 times, sacked from 2 jobs and passing out in the street 6 times. I have tried Campral. Naltrexone and Nalmefene but none have helped I just continued to drink.

    I got to 4 months alcohol free last year and then my casual work ended and I made a big mistake taking the next job, my Mum had an accident at home and it all just got too much.

    I am sorry to bore you all but it is so nice to speak to people on here who understand. I have been in my casual job for 3 months now and have been offered a permanent job. I am also going to night classes.

    It is not easy and I still miss the drink sometimes. I am seeing GP next week and will ask about how long I should take the Antabuse for. So far he has not offered any blood tests.  I have one to one conselling every fornight as well but I amot sure where that is going. My worker left and my new one is into meditation and crystals! I like her as a person but it is not doing it for me - sorry!

    My current GP is good but I fear he will retire soon. He has an interest in addictions and is on a few boards. Previous doctors told me to go home and phone the AA! Shocking isn't it?

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 am03922

      Posted

      Just do not drink on that stuff...it CAN kill you...and don't drink for a long time after you stop taking it either.  Maybe the new worker can switch you to something that is easier on the liver.

      I'm surprised that you haven't been requested to take blood work.  I hope I am not scaring you....just want you to be well.

  • RHGB
    RHGB Misssy2

    Posted

    No, it isn't shocking, the whole industry needs sort out from top to bottom. Unfortunately, my GP is also old school, ignores what he is told and tries to do the best for the patient, but he only works half a week now. He always has time to see me, refers to me by my first name and told my wife that he actually likes me as a person, but is concerned about me staying off the drink.

    Now, we will see some politcally correct, follow the rules, sod the patient, event though he has been with the practice umpteen years and they know him better than any directive from the GMC doctors coming to the forefront.

  • am03922
    am03922 Misssy2

    Posted

    I would never drink on these! It took me so long to get them and I would not want that coming back on my GP who has always done his best for me.
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 am03922

      Posted

      Good smile.

      Take care...glad you are doing well for yourself by NOT drinking.

  • virginia62747
    virginia62747 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi my name is Gina I have a exdaughter in law that's going through the same thing u are going through and has been binge drinking off and on since her split with my eldest son I feel so bad for her she cries and says she's hurting from alcohol withdrawal and says she can't stop I myself am a recovering drug addict it's been 21yrs so I know what addiction feels like all I can say is you are worth it and u can stop life is worth living and u can be happy and there is life after alcohol abuse I will pray for u ta

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 virginia62747

      Posted

      Took me a while to see how this post was ressurected from 12 months ago...I still struggle I guess.....I have 2 weeks sober today actually.

      21 years...wow....you might not be alive today if you didn't accomplish the "quit"....

      I feel for your daughter in law....and its nice that you are there for her.

       

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.