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I consider withdrawals to be the devil

Posted , 13 users are following.

Misssy2
Misssy2

My withdrawal from alcohol has gotten so much worse in the last years.  I am on Day 2 right now from withdrawing....I drank  1 week, day and night...did not eat food....if I wasn't sleeping...I was drinking...I was drinking beer.

Day 1 - I could barely drink anything...everything tasted horrible.  I managed some soup (about 3 tsps)....some yogurt and a glass of Gatorade.

I was lucky enough to have lorazepam to get me thru shakes and sweating.

Day 2 - chills...still no great appetite...didn't eat till 3:30 this afternoon.

Trying to choke down the water. 

The psychological toll it has taken on me is even worse...total panic all the time...alot of anxiety...feeling like a failure to everyone around me. 

I know from experience that I will feel better every hour of every day that I stay sober...but the Nausea this time is so unbearable (sure I have pancreatitis again).

My boyfriend must be so sick of me saying how sick I am...moaning...can't help around the house...I felt lucky to take a shower today.  I am ANGRY...to the point where I dont care what he thinks...but deep down i just physically and mentall feel sick inside and out.

I had 8 years sobriety and gave it up....I had 2 months and gave it up....I don't know why I keep going back...because everytime I drink I end up this way or worse.

I hope anyone that feels like me today...knows they are not alone.  Because I feel alone...and like such a waste of breath.

2 likes, 133 replies

133 Replies

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  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi all...just to say..I hope that you are coping well...feeling well...and doing well....every...every !! Single one of us are WORTH THE EFFORT..we are all decent, caring, supportive people....have a great weekend my friends...big, warm and sincere hugs to us all...Deirdre xxxxx
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi all...just to say..I hope that you are coping well...feeling well...and doing well....every...every !! Single one of us are WORTH THE EFFORT..we are all decent, caring, supportive people....have a great weekend my friends...big, warm and sincere hugs to us all...Deirdre xxxxx
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Deidre...lol...I wonder why your posts keep getting moderated?  I hate that....do you know why?  I have never seen you say anything..to break any rules...smile
  • RHGB
    RHGB Misssy2

    Posted

    If you write a long post, particularly if you stop and take some time, it times out the connection.

    If you write a long post that has taken sometime, to safe guard against a time out connection, copy the text. That way if the system falls over when you press post, simply start a new message and paste the old message in. I always do that as a safe guard.

  • carol14987
    carol14987 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi Missy.I hope you are feeling better. Did you have a seeupport group or person? I have not gone through withdrawals before but do know that pancreatitis can be deadly. I'm sure you probably know that. Does your boyfriend drink? I'm sorry you're feeling bad and going through all this
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 carol14987

      Posted

      NO!  I didn't know it could be deadly...I mean of course I assume if I kept drinking that would be inevitble...but come to think of it....they were very concerned at the hospital...7 interveneous..hmmm
  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy Misssy2

    Posted

    Well said misssy, I like that and it's so true xxx 
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 Paper_fairy

      Posted

      I don't know how to see previous pages...here..so I don't know what I said...but that is OK...just glad you are posting...it means your alive and active..and that is what is important to me.
  • am03922
    am03922 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi everyone

    i came across this forum last night while looking for side effects of Antabuse and I wish I had found this sooner!! I am currently sober for over 3 months and on Antabuse but I sympathise with everyone on here that is going through withdrawals. It truly is hell on earth and I pray that I never have to experience it again.

     

    • Paper_fairy
      Paper_fairy am03922

      Posted

      Hi you. Well done on 3 months. Wow, you should be very proud of yourself. I've been to AA, smart recovery, alcohol Advisery service, addaction, been in the priory rehab,everyone but ( but sounds negative!) I can say I've learnt more about alcohol and recovery and support on this site than anywhere else. 

      Theres a lot of amazing support and wonderful people on this site who will help you on your journey to sobriety and being happy. Glad you're here xxx

    • vickylou
      vickylou am03922

      Posted

      Hiya and a big welcome to this great non judgemental forum. You'll get loads of help and support here.

      three months sober is great so you should be very proud of yourself.

      I was surprised when you said you are on Antabuse as I thought very few dr's prescribe Antabuse these days as there are better drugs available. However i am no expert on the suitability of drugs.

      Paul Turner is the expert on here. He's a fully qualified specialist who am sure will reply to you. Keep up the good work

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 am03922

      Posted

      I drank on Antabuse - and almost died!

      A BIG congratulations to 3 months...I know when I had 2 months recently..I finally felt "human" again. You must be feeling wonderful..smile

      I still feel sick...10 days into my detox.,,but I know as soon as all these crappy feelings pass...as long as I don't drink...I will be fine.

      The functionality of Antabuse is....if you drink on it...the liver basically rejects the alcohol (giving the person..no buzz) and what it did to me..was raise my blood pressure super high...turned my whole body red...and sent me into hallucinations.....I was also strapped to the bed in the hospital because I was unable to follow directions...and became very violent and I am a pussy cat.

      THIS event happened 2 weeks after I stopped taking Antabuse...I had to stop taking it because it had built up in my body to a toxic level....causing my feet to be completely numb...it took many Drs to figure out why my feet were numb..It was finally an Indian Dr...who said it was a toxic level of Anatabse.  While on that drug...I was instructed to have frequent liver function tests and I NEVER had one.

      I was on it for about 3 months...they originally told me that if I was going to drink that I should stop the pill for 2 weeks first.  So after I stopped taking the pill I waited 2 weeks and what I typed above is what happened to me. It was the most horrific experience in my life.

      Its not intended to stop cravings...but to stop the effects of drinking so the person doesn't "enjoy" drinking.  There is no possible way to enjoy it when you go into full blown panic and horror from the side affects...LOL....Please don't drink on it....I would hope they would wean you from it soon because 3 months is a good amount of time to have sustained from drinking...You probably have all new habits now and would be ok without drinking.....Again, congrats to you.

      Maybe they explained all that to you about Antabuse...but for anyone else considering using this method...I wanted to post my experience.

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