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I don't even know what i'm scared of!

Posted , 12 users are following.

BellaLuna
BellaLuna

I am losing hope, my anxiety is 24/7, i struggle to leave the house and when i'm out fear just zaps through me constantly, i don't know what i'm scared of though.

I'm not scared of any specific bad thing happening, i hate panic attacks of course but i know they are just arenaline and can't harm me so i am logical about them.

I just feel scared for no reason, we were out today again, i force it daily and i just kept thinking 'oh god i'm out, i'm scared', we sat in an indoor play area with the kids an fear was going through me in waves, thinking about how scary 'outside' felt but it's nothing specific.

I am getting phone CBT in 6 weeks but how can it help if i can't even explain what it is that i fear?

I know the only way through it is to keep trying but it feels like it's getting worse every day and i am trying so hard, i just don't know what to do anymore sad

3 likes, 35 replies

35 Replies

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  • lynne82155
    lynne82155 BellaLuna

    Posted

    I can be sitting laughing at something on the tv and my anxiety can start!!!

    I just dont understand it

    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna lynne82155

      Posted

      Me either, it wasn'teven like an anxiety attack with symptoms,just a general feeling of feeling really scared but not knowing what of.
  • Guest
    Guest BellaLuna

    Posted

    hi bella are you on any meds at the moment?
    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna Guest

      Posted

      I take diazepam, the dose was increased slightly a couple of weeks ago, my gp spoke about other meds but i've been med phobic for years and she was concerned about how i would cope with side effects in the early weeks, my CPN feels therapy is best now and i am going to be having CBT on the phone starting in about 6-7 weeks.

      I just worry that if i can't be specific about why i feel scared they wont be able to help me.

    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 BellaLuna

      Posted

      You dont need to be specific with cbt its what you feel, think,or fear. Its how to ground yourself basically during an anxiety attack,
    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna lisalisa67

      Posted

      Thank you, it's the whole feeling of fear that is getting to me, even when my heart isn't pounding and there are no other obvious physical symptoms i just feel this intense fear for no reason at all, hopefully the therapist can work with that.
  • kerry84695
    kerry84695 BellaLuna

    Posted

    Cbt sounds amazing, looking I to it I realise it not about being afraid of things, it's about how our mind deals with certain events in day to day life. It teaches you to think differently and In turn control your anxiety. It teaches you how to challenge yu own thoughts and work out what is real and what isn't xx
    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna kerry84695

      Posted

      I'm really hoping that it helps me, i feel completely overwhelmed now and like i have put everything i have into trying to help myself only to be left with a feeling of fear that is hard to explain but impossible to cope with xx
  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 BellaLuna

    Posted

    Anxiety is normal when there is a reason for it,when there is no reason for it and it becomes free floating and without focus - that's when it's a problem. So its not unusual to feel like that,its very common. I can't promise CBT will help,for some its very effective for others it really isn't. There are many other different and more effective forms of therapy out there though so don't be afraid to ask for another if you feel it isn't working.
    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna jmcg2014

      Posted

      Thank you, i will see how it goes with the CBT and if that doesn't help i will ask about different types of therapy that i can try.
    • ann55375
      ann55375 jmcg2014

      Posted

      Have you any idea how to deal with fear of everything and getting through each day.  Never had a panic attack, just anxiety and fear. Diazepam is what they gave, it takes edge off but wake each day fearful.  Could the diazepam be causing this? Tried anti deps, made it worse, or worse still made me into a zombie.
  • gill16647
    gill16647 BellaLuna

    Posted

    I think you need to be kinder to yourself. You are going through an axioms phase.I have them too. For no reason ! I try and solve why I feel that way but never do. Just feel fear all the time. Mine us the same indoors or outdoors. I think just accept it. I know it's hard but anxiety core is uncertainty so it feeds on uncertainty.When you think about life their are only a few certain things out there. So you have to try think differently about the uncertainty.Say well I am uncertain how long I will feel like this it's only the not knowing the uncertainty that's causing this. You can't answer the question how long or why it when. But you can think differently Just think I am feeling uncertainty nothing more. ! Nothing I can do about it and so I carry on with daily stuff. Keep doing what you are doing but don't push yourself quite as hard as you are setting yourself for a fall before you even step outside. By saying this is just uncertainty I am feeling cos that's what anxiety is it gradually reduced it.It's not a life threatening disease and your not heading for a breakdown you just unsettled and then it doesn't have the scary tag of mental illness. Anxiety is just uncertainty just always think that. It helps me.Also when it's really bad take no notice of your thought as they aren't rational.When you calmer you see that for yourself. You will come through this may be dip in and out bit you are not on your own.
    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna gill16647

      Posted

      Thank you, what you say makes a lot of sense, it does feed on uncertainty and that is a much more productive and logical way of thinking about those feelings and that awful fear.

      I do need to change the way i think about it and approach it, you are right about that scary tag and the thoughts i have when i'm anxious not being rational, i need to keep reminding myself of that too, it's been an awful day today and i really appreciate your words of encouragement, i will try to be kinder to myself too.

    • gill16647
      gill16647 BellaLuna

      Posted

      That's good.It is hard but it can't kill us.Just learning how to live with it. It's a case of really saying I am not listening to myself i am not rational. I try get on with my day as distraction reduces it for me. Also it saves wasting a day.Deep breaths too. We all have days that are just awful and sometimes you just have to right it off but try next day to start differently.When I am like that I get up straight away as I wake the following day. If I stay om bed it's just worsens. Are you worse in a morning ?
    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna gill16647

      Posted

      Mornings are really awful for me yes but I think a lot of that is the build up to trying to leave the house, I haven't slept properly in months, I keep having anxiety that wakes me up every hour or two and I am fully alert by 5am.

      I do need to try a new approach, it's so bad at the moment and nothing I do is helping so learning to view it differently is something I really need to try as hard as it is.

    • gill16647
      gill16647 BellaLuna

      Posted

      Have you tried sleeping tablets jay for short term.It can just take edge off.Try keeping really busy and don't nap. When u wake up in early hours.Just say I am safe I am ok and try to get back to sleep.Cut out any caffeine and a milky drink can help Are you on any tablets.If not try herbal and as you swallow ot tell yourself this will fox me xx. It will die out but you have to help it. Hot baths before bed.Tell yourself this is going to help. It will gradually.Don't expect a quick fix but acknowledge slight improvements.Your will be ok. It's just learning how to cope. You will think yours is the worse we all do. Anxiety a job is to frighten you. Over nothing !!! You have to believe it's over nothing. Your brain tells you I have a problem I need to sort it and then you agonise and frighten yourself to the limits. Keep telling yourself this is anxiety it's uncertainty I will ignore this. And do just that get up and do something take control. May only be half an hour you can do that at first.But keep at it. Anxiety is fearMine like yours is of something I don't no. I think my fear is anxiety itself to be honest cos I hate it so much. Fear of fear how mad eh.Don't look for answers you never find them. X
    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna gill16647

      Posted

      They wont give me sleeping tablets, i am on diazepam and have been for years, i don't really mind about that at the moment, my life is too turbulent to start tapering at the moment, I cut caffeine out completely a few weeks ago though.

      I have been thinking a lot about your advice today and keeping it in my mind, telling myself to carry on with what i'm doing and saying 'I will not listen to myself' a lot, it helped me to survive another day which to be honest was still awful but i got through each task, went to the shop, felt fear, repeated those words in my mind and got it done.

      I sat in a coffee shop and had a fruit tea too, i felt awful and rushed it down a bit but i didn't leave and resisted the urge to ask them to put it in a takeaway cup, that way i knew i had to stay in there, sit down and just be there for a little while.

      I know it's going to take a long time, it hurts when i know i was fine a couple of months ago but i am accepting that for now i am having a hard time and i need to have patience and stay hopeful x

    • gill16647
      gill16647 BellaLuna

      Posted

      You have done really well to do all that.Really well. Don't expect to feel better and you will start noticing small flashes of feeling Ok.Laughing is good ! Try laugh at it. I know it's hard you want to curl in a ball. But just say.This to will pass. It's anxiety it feeds on your fear.Just go with it !It's like your brain wants to find the problem and sort it and because their is no problem you basically scare yourself and think u am obviously going to end up in a mental institution. You won't !I had diazepam too for a while.I then missed one and realised I wasn't any better but u wasn't any worse. I gradually stopped em. I have them as a emergency in my draw for a real rubbish day. But reducing them put me back in control so what I am saying is I took control of my meds.They r always there. Docs can only give you meds that's what they do. You know your Biody and mind. Take control. Don't mean stop meds now just saying try different things.I always say I am anxious because of uncertainty.Nothing I can do about that I don't have special powers ! Do you ?You won't go mad. Is sum thing going on in your life that your struggling with or is it just the anxiety symptoms x
    • BellaLuna
      BellaLuna gill16647

      Posted

      Thank you, today has been incredibly hard, i have tried again to go with it and say to myself 'you are not in danger, you are just being irrational' but the fear has been so awful, i know some days will be harder than others.

      I phoned my CPN and she is going to do a home visit with a consultant, i don't want it, i don't want more meds but she is being really pushy about it, i am seiously thinking about discharging myself from her because every time i speak to her i feel worse.

      It's just anxiety i am dealing with and the agoraphobia, its horrible, i had some stress about a month or two before things got really bad but thought i was dealing with it fine at the time, i did tell the CPN about it and she said she would refer me for psychotherapy but it never happened,now she is insisting i need more meds and it's stressing me out even more x

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