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I don't know what to do anymore.

Posted , 5 users are following.

rachael310
rachael310

I have always suffered with quite bad anxiety since being a small child. As I became a teenager I was very angry with everyone and would often say things I didn't mean. When I left school I became depressed and attempted suicide twice. I have has CBT for quite some time now and have been on fluoxetine for a few months. I'm now 20 and after feeling like I was getting better, I hit a rough point about 6 months ago. My mood changes rapidly from extremely happy and hyper to angry or depressed within hours. My parents and boyfriend have often said that they don't know which person they are going to get until they talk to me. I have started self harming again and I am having suicidal thoughts every time I get a depressed mood which is quite often. I'm now not only scared i'm going to harm myself, I'm scared I'm going to harm others. I have punched and kicked my boyfriend recently when I had an angry mood - I'm scared that one day i'm going to do some real damage to someone. I have been to the doctor multiple times and he doesn't want to label me with any conditions - he is keeping me on the fluoxetine and continuing with the CBT but I am just getting worse. I also haven't been to work in over 2 weeks and risk losing my job. I just can't cope. The doctor told me to grow up. I am stuck on what to do next. I don't want to hurt anyone else.

0 likes, 17 replies

17 Replies

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  • eli_bird
    eli_bird rachael310

    Posted

    You seriously need to change your doctor he is not goog for you if he is saying unsuported remarks when you are clearly shouting out for help try contacting MIND they are really good and you need to tell someone who you feel the closest to help you because by yourself it is hard,find a doctor in your surgery who is more understanding you can easily do this you dont have to see that doctor 

    I wish you Luck and keep us updated smile

    • rachael310
      rachael310 eli_bird

      Posted

      I have tried talking to my parents but they are far too angry at me at the moment, I just need help immediately
  • MK5460
    MK5460 rachael310

    Posted

    rachael310 remember if you do hit someone again, you could end up in jail. There may be something else also going on, you should seek professional help. 
    • rachael310
      rachael310 MK5460

      Posted

      I know I could end up in prison, that's why I'm terrified
    • MK5460
      MK5460 rachael310

      Posted

      racheal310 Then Please find a therapist now and GO seek help before you do end up in jail. GET TO A THERAPIST NOW STOP PUTTING IT OFF
  • MK5460
    MK5460 rachael310

    Posted

    medication can also cause problems, you may need an ajustment with your meds
  • justbeingme2
    justbeingme2 rachael310

    Posted

    Run to the emergency room. You need help immediately! Get another doctor too. He should not be practicing if he is giving that kind of advise. You have an illness and its like any illness, it has to be treated.
  • eli_bird
    eli_bird rachael310

    Posted

    how is your boyfriend is he suportive or do you have a friend as you say your parents are too angry with you try and find someone who is not and can understand as i really think you need someone to go with you for support and a doctor who is going to refer you in the right direction
    • rachael310
      rachael310 eli_bird

      Posted

      My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand me at all. I asked him to take me to A&E on Saturday but he flat out refused and told his Mum all about me. Now i'm extremely embarrassed. I don't really have anyone to go with me for support.
    • MK5460
      MK5460 rachael310

      Posted

      rachael310 what is A&E since I am not British UK I don't know the language
  • deet87391
    deet87391 rachael310

    Posted

    I cannot believe your doctor told you to grow up, that is so inappropriate and unprofessional. Maybe your doctor does not want to diagnosis you because s/he is in experienced when it comes to mental health. Do you see a mental health professional other than CBT. It does sound like your problems needs to be assessed by a mental health expert. CBT is great but may not be the best treatment for you. I would insist that your doctor refer you to an expert...
    • rachael310
      rachael310 deet87391

      Posted

      No, the doctor refuses to refer me to any mental health professional other than CBT, My parents both feel I need to be assessed properly as my behaviour is just getting worse but the doctor just won't listen.
  • eli_bird
    eli_bird rachael310

    Posted

    you have the right to a second opinion you must see a different doctor ,its a shame your boyfriend does not suport you as it must be affecting your relationship with him well so be it bite the bullet stay strong and insist on a different doctor when you go as you cant go on like this you will have to find your inner strength to do this just wish you had suport but we are all suporting you every day so keep us informed Good Luck
  • MK5460
    MK5460 rachael310

    Posted

    rachael310 the language in the UK sure is different. So you have cognitive behavioral therapy do I understand that right, that seems like a treatment rather than a mental health illness, like schitzophrenia sort of like the effect of a cause and effect. like treatment without a disease since therapy is treatment for an illness. My therapist I just saw today reminded me that he is doing cognitive therapy with me when I come in for my sessions. I myself have been struggling terribly with suicide lately, many abuse issues I am dealing with that are overwhelming me and I get suicidal  and just was during the last couple of weeks good thing my therapist and my pastor were there to help. 
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