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I dont know what im going to be capable of in the future?

Posted , 7 users are following.

kirancrampton
kirancrampton

my severe clinical depression is getting worse every single day. i self harm alot on a daily basis and have multipul panic attacks each day.im on prozac. i dont know what to do with my self. i cant 'hang in there' anymore. im seeing doctors and start CBT in a few weeks. im just another depressed heartbroken worthless teenage boy who knows nothing about the world. suicidal thought have been entering my mind lately. please help me, just replysad(((((

1 like, 142 replies

142 Replies

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  • Vickycam
    Vickycam kirancrampton

    Posted

    Hang in there Kiran.  We're all pulling for you.  Brighter days are coming.  And remember you are a good worthwhile person.  Try not to give in to negativity.  I know you're saying - "That's easy to say", but we are all confident that you'll be  feeling better now that you are in the hands of a doctor and therapist.  Stick with it and give yourself time. 
  • kirancrampton
    kirancrampton

    Posted

    9 days until cbt, cant be doing with this pain much longer. it hurts too too much. sad sad sad
    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman kirancrampton

      Posted

      Hi Kiran, a couple of days ago it was 2 weeks. Now it's only 9 days! You got through that much. I know you can get through another little while . . . do you want to talk about anything that's bothering you, or we can just have mindless chat for a little while if you want. . . whatever you want

      I'm here to help you through,

      anonymousgirl x 

    • robin77577
      robin77577 kirancrampton

      Posted

      Kiran, you can go to your CBT in 9 days feeling much better IF you go for help now. And you know I mean the hospital. You have never said why you will not go. What is holding you back? If you had a broken leg, would you wait to seek help for 9 days? Serious mental and physical ills are equally worthy of immediate attention. Let me know why you will not go, please.
    • kirancrampton
      kirancrampton robin77577

      Posted

      robin i will still think about it, it feels like the girl thing is feeling worse every day. i cant keep thinking about her and the guy shes with. its tearing me up
  • Vickycam
    Vickycam kirancrampton

    Posted

    Kiran,  Please follow Robin's advice and go to the hospital.  We are worried that you will do something drastic and you are worthy of life not premature death through suicide.   With immediate help and perhaps a new medication you will overcome this misery.  Please speak to an adult - clergyperson, older friend - who  can accompany you to a hospital. Do you believe the  hospital will keep you there and you're afraid of being a "prisoner"?  Whatever your fear you must NOT kill yourself. 
  • AnonymousWoman
    AnonymousWoman kirancrampton

    Posted

    Hi Kiran, 

    Hope you're doing alright. A bit worried about you. Would love to hear from you if you get a chance please. 

    Hope you're alright??

    anonymousgirl

  • AnonymousWoman
    AnonymousWoman kirancrampton

    Posted

    We are all here for you Kiran. Here to help. If you don't feel like going to hospital then you can chat to us or try the tips from your sheets from doctor or try the breathing technique I gave you and the "I'm here" thing during your panic attacks. Also, I think it was Robin that suggested using a strong positive visual to concentrate on, e.g. the sun shining, whatever you may feel that you have some sense of happiness or calmness when you think of it and concentrate on it as much as you can. 

    We're here for you. We know you can do this. Stay with us, please. For us and for you Kiran, you have so much of your life left to live. 

    I did it Kiran, you can too. 

    anonymousgirl xxx

  • AnonymousWoman
    AnonymousWoman kirancrampton

    Posted

    Hi Kiran? 

    xxx

    • kirancrampton
      kirancrampton AnonymousWoman

      Posted

      I CANT GET THIS GIRL OUT MY HEAD AND THE GUY SHES SEEING ITS TEARING ME APART I CANT STOP HAVING PANIC ATTACKSsad(((((((((((((((((((( WHEN WILL THIS HELL ENDsad( I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE
    • robin77577
      robin77577 kirancrampton

      Posted

      Kiran, are we being punked?...

      If you are truly in dire straights, get to AE. Why would a person in pain (whether it be physical or emotional) do nothing to stop the pain?

      I am beginning to have my doubts that this situation is real...

    • kirancrampton
      kirancrampton robin77577

      Posted

      it is real,im hurt you said that. im just not feeling comftorble going to hospital. its too much hassel. it would just stress me and my perents out. thats not really how it works in england i dont think
    • robin77577
      robin77577 kirancrampton

      Posted

      Okay, Kiran, if as I said to Lisa, you had a broken leg and you were urged to get to a hospital for urgent treatment, but you said you weren't comfortable going there, would it make any sense? Your resistance and fears are preventing you from getting the help that you need. I realize and understand that depression can be paralysing and that making even a simple decision is very difficult...but take ONE step. Push yourself with all the strength and courage within you to take that one step...and that is to call an ambulance or ask ...no TELL your mother to take you to the hospital. Call an aunt or a grandparent. You decide what the ONE stop is...but do it. Yes, this is how it works in England and in every industrialised country. You mention the word 'suicide' and your case goes to the top of the list of urgencies and you are admitted. Relief from your agony is ONE step away...but YOU are the one who has to take that ONE step, Kiran....and Lisa.
    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman kirancrampton

      Posted

      Hi Kiran, 

      I am so glad to hear from you. . . I can't give you the answers about when except that you need to have patience and be easy on yourself and just know that we are all here for you. 

      Have you tried the breathing exercises/something you used to enjoy/strong positive visual/"I'm here"?

      anonymousgirl

    • AnonymousWoman
      AnonymousWoman kirancrampton

      Posted

      Kiran, that's alright if you don't want to go to hospital. I know you may feel that it's very scary. I know I was scared even about going to hospital in case they would put me into hospital. But it was  all fine in the end. 

      I think  you are doing just fine. As long as you keep in contact with us or ring your therapist, doc or a helpline if you need to things will be fine. 

      And remember what I said before, keep chipping back at it. Keep fighting, don't let it beat you. Anytime you have a negative thought, you have to ask yourself is it really, logically true and try to think of alternative options. 

      Remember that the past and future are not where you are. You are here now in the present. And the present hurts. It hurts a lot. 

      If you are having a panic attack, try to remember that it will pass. Just keep telling yourself that. Accept it and just know it will pass. 

      Thinking of you,

      anonymousgirl xxx

      PS Robin did not mean to hurt your feelings. She is only trying to help you because she cares. I think was just trying to challenge your not going to hospital and trying to show you that it could be a good option. But it's OK if you don't want to go. You are doing just fine. Everything will be fine xxx

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