I dont think i'm gonna make it I'm pretty much homeless

everyone here always feels somewhat like this just hang on in there talking is a good way to get out your emotions and how you feel just remember your never alone as long as your part of something and if your here your part of this discussion forum i know how you feel about being homeless as last year i was too and i know its rough but eventually you will get your own place keep posting on here that way you csn vent all your negativity on us here we all here for you your never alone

Hi, I used to wish the same thing every night, a number of times I've overdosed and I always wake up. This is the lowest I've ever been. It came on from loosing my job but recently feels like any little thing. I was on the same tablets had afew side effects just sickness and stomach pains, then I stopped taking them cos I felt better, but then again hit a brick wall again and starting to feel the same. Just so emotional all the time. Does anyone else feel like a total different person, dull boring unsocial towards people? Find it so hard to be the girl I used to be. Now I'm so quiet and keep myself to myself and just sit on the fence now. I hate who I'm becoming but don't see myself being me again. If he walked away ur guy then he wasn't worth it anyway, he should have been ur rock thru all this.

Xx

suppose being all emotional is a big part of depression i feel like that all the time and im a guy never used to cry at stupid things but now all the time im always comming off meds and i know i shouldnt but i feel ok so i stop then as you say theres that brick wall and yeah i hit it head on so back on the meds im alone taking things one day at a time these days but trying to always look towards the future cos the past is a dull place a place i dont want to go again it summer time now weathers much better i force myself out side even if its for a short walk or a sit in the park just something anything but yeah the brick wall is always there

i found keeping a diary is a good way to keep track of my feelings and emotions its become routine for me daily now theres a site i use online its private now one can see but me theres even a videolog you can do its a big help to me i get to hear my voice which is rare these days living alone with not friends or family is a good way to do things

https://www.mindlogr.com/

https://ohlife.com

the top one is the video one give it a try you never know its a good way to keep track of things as time goes on

I know I've changed so much. I dont expect anything good to happen. I don't even remember what being happy feels like i'm just empty. I can barely carry a conversation anymore all I can think is how bad i feel. I dont even have the energy to sort out somewhere to live. I just want to all to end and that to be it.

Like you said we all in the same boat, I'm wondering whether to start taking them again. I just feel so fed up all the time, my partner got me a puppy to cheer me up which yeah now the weathers nice I always take him park, it's good to get out. I'm the same I rarely talk to anyone but I think I've been putting on a front for ages now. I'm still not 100%, thing is I'm always comparing my life to others which everyone says I need to stop but I just can't and it's terrible. The slightest things gets me down.

Xx

I have to go back on citalopram. The way i feel right now I don't feel I have much choice. I do the same I compare my life with my friends and my family. I feel like such a failure

just remember theres always someone out there that will listen that will talk to help through the bad times the hard times if its just a quick message on here or phone a friend theres always some1 that is there i suppose i feel as im over my worst and i want to move past it all im picking myself up but then i feel negative again but i dont want to get to the darkness again so i do all i can and i do find talking to someone as well as the meds is a big help anyone can message me on here for a chat if your feeling low thats what this place is for at the end of the day i just hope my being positive isnt another part of my depression playing tricks on me dont get me wrong life still isnt great for me but for me to realize that is a start onward and upwards forwards not backwards fingers crossed theres some nice people on this site and people who understand what we are all going through

Yh me too, loosing my job I've felt like such a failure since, and I put myself down a lot, I thought I was going crazy I was so close to covering mirrors in the house cos I hated myself and couldn't bare to look at them. Lose so much weight aswell. I try so hard to think positive but like u say the darkness is always there, I felt like I was in a hole, and I describe it as darkness aswell followed you everywhere. I'm having trouble at work with a certain manager kinder like she's picking on me and came home yday in tears. Normally I let things like that go over my head that's why I feel so emotional lately if anyone started or was rude I'll just cry now. I always wished for one thing to be happy, but just find life so hard. I used to pray bad things that happen to good people would happen to me instead. At one point I wanted to be in a padded room to prevent me from hurting myself or on sucide watch. Maybe a diary to express my feelings would help, I rarely have any friends so no one to unload on. My other halfs constantly busy with work and his friends and especially his phone, non stop calls or internet. Feel like no one understands at all.

Xx

Sorry only just seen your comment about the diary, I used to have one through my teens it was my way of getting it off my chest. Not sure about video log, if I hate mirrors and that,

Xx

well the ideas there was just trying to help but i understand i used to find looking at myself in mirrors even windows was hard i never liked what was looking back at me but as time went on we are who we are i find seeing myself on them bad days is a good thing cos i reminds me of what i dont want to go back to but maybe the online diary is a better way how do you feel today? any different form yesterday? it takes 1 day at a time im still a sufferer of depression and its something thats always going to be there ive an appointment this afternoon that im really nervous about been in a bit of a panic this morning nervs are all over the place but i need to do this i need to push myself there my thoughts right now out of my comfort zone hope you have a better day and remember everyone is different but what we make of life is only left to our decisions

Yh I find you have to push yourself to things now and then, because there's experiences then you can say you liked it or not. Had a good day today so far just took the dog over the park about an hour walk, enjoy taking him out. Comfort zones how I feel in work lately. Just dread going. But somedays I feel ok others just so emotional. Hope today went ok for you.

Xx

well today has given me lots to think about im i ready to start up my own business or will it be to much pressure should i wait to see how i am in 3-6months time or is it something else i could put my mind to a new start maybe not sure if im ready but i will think about it and its good you get out in the fresh air hope the weather stays nice always makes me feel abit better

Yh but see you do look at it both sides, true what you said fresh start, be prepared with everything but never feel negative thats something else everyone tells me to stop doing. Being busy is really good to stop you thinking. But not over doing it. Yh the weathers been lovely, hope it stays like it.

Xx

Hi jammy, don't feel alone.many people are in your situation. Try to remember all things will pass. Maybe not as good as before. I will share something back in 2000 that happened to me. I had a girl that mistreated me so bad and stalked me. I ended up with a breakdown. With the right meds you may feel better. As of now I have my ups and downs that the downs may last for months but I'm having some good right now (not that I will ever be the same) but it probably will get better. But I am not counting on the good to last because I've been though this before. I'll feel good for a couple of months and bam! down I go again. But maybe for me to feel good, I have to feel the bad as well. So I hope things will work out for you and don't give up the fight. We are all here to talk to you because we all have the same problem. Take care and I hope things get better for as fast as it has taken you down. God Luck.