I dont think i'm gonna make it I'm pretty much homeless

I'm back on the tablets aswell, recently taken a turn for the worst, been looking at old people and I just cry. I don't think I'll ever be that same person anymore. I need to work but at the moment I don't want to unless I feel better, but then would I be cutting myself from the world if I stay at home and would It make things worst?? I felt so much better working but I'm back to square one again. Just feel so lost. My other half isn't helping we hardly talking and from his words "I'm a moody bitch lately" he only has to say something nasty and I just cry. His really not helping the situation. I'm so tempted to pack some stuff and just leave. Don't know where I would go though, abroad? Pay the flights but need money to survive on?? See I've thought about it all or would it just be easier to end it all. Then it's done. Just feel so down.

Old photos* not old people.

Laura, some people don't understand depression. If your other half is giving you a hard time, ask him to go to counseling with you so it may help him understand. If you can't get him to go maybe it is time to depart. Like i said, you are having your down moment right now. Give yourself some time. It may take a few months like I had to go through.and expect it again. But just like the snap of a finger I popped out of it and started cleaning my apartment that I was living in for two years and hadn't even so much as unpacked a bag. It stayed that way for 2 years. I even had legal problems and other physical pressures on top of that. Just about 2 weeks ago i just snapped out of it and my apt. is just about presentable to have company where before I was embarrassed when one of my friends stopped by to pick up something. She even commented about the way it looked because she didn't understand depression. SO PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP! If you believe, talk to your higher power. I thought that was nuts but what the hell, what did it hurt. Don't blame for your problems, just accept them as I did.

Everyone says it's so easy to just walk away, but it's not. I don't want unload all my problems on here but so much has happened I can't just up and leave. His like jackle and Hyde sometimes he will try and help round the house, or cook dinner but once in a blue moon. The one thing that gets me is there's no conversation. I'm just messed up. Counselling I think I need to go, I'm tempted to ring work up and just say I'm not going back so at least I can book doctors and just foscus on my needs.

I'm at the end of my rope. My family I can just tough out and get better. I'm sitting here thinking about killing myself. I don't think I can cope with another day I'm here but i'm not here. I'm numb and empty. I hate this I dont want to feel like this anymore.

Seriously know how you feel. I always used the term I'm hanging on by a thread. It is horrible like a dark negative cloud over your head that follows you no matter how hard you try and get away, it's latched onto you. Try and do something you enjoy doing, a hobby or something.

Xx