i feel like im dying

It def does feel like an “out of body” experience.  I mean as I said, I am still completely bewildered by it all.  That I didn’t know these hormones could be attached to receptors all over every part of your body is very surprising but then I think about all I have heard (which is basically nothing) because really all I’ve ever heard from anyone I’ve asked was that you get flashes that go away once it’s over (but nobody says when it’s over because reality is, it’s never over) or they didn’t have a menopause or they don’t remember menopause.  The doctors say nothing, at all and are not trained to give a snap about it and today’s doctors are younger and younger not even in the realm of thinking about menopause so they just hear your symptoms and prescribe pills for anxiety or depression and send you to a psych because they are too busy to deal with that.  So basically it seems as though no one really wants to talk about it truthfully with regards to the REAL symptoms so we are just sitting ducks waiting for it to hit us and knock us to our knees, which it does do but you will only find certain brave souls like ourselves reaching out into the depths of the internet to try to figure out why we are beaten down in the prime of our lives because as it seems, no one wants to admit it or talk about it.  There is not one person I graduated whom I have spoken to that says they have hit menopause or has or has had symptoms...not one.  I find that rather odd unless I am just 1 out 300 women I graduated with who is even having menopause let alone horrifying symptoms.  It’s a bum deal, unfair, miserable, exhausting, depressing and to put it bluntly I feel as though they are all full of doo-dooo ( because I don’t want to swear).   Something needs to shift the attitude of this misery so that there is more education earlier on.  That’s all I got today.

I guess I have more as I sat here thinking about my own situation and doctors telling me that I was depressed and had GAD.  I do have anxiety although I’ve never really had serious depression unless the circumstances in my life catapulted it, such as a death or losing a job..etc.  Medical doctors are all too willing to speak up and say “nope, hormones don’t cause depression and anxiety” when we are dang sure that the hormones do cause it.  We are the ones living in these bodies and we know that we were rolling along quite nicely until BLAMO!  We’re not rolling along anymore it’s as though we’ve been thrown under the bus and run over repeatedly instead of rolling in it.   That professionals never admit that the hormones cause these things must be a joke or something.  Perhaps it is a ritual joke handed down through internships around the world, the joke being a kind of secret society kind of rite of passage and privilege at graduation to be let in on the secret that;  “when all these 40 something to 60 something women come in acting crazy, crying and emotionally exhausted complaining about not feeling well, we tell them that it’s not their hormones even though we know it is.”    I know my imagination is creative but it’s all I can come up with to explain the sheer indifference and ignorance.  And the conflicting information out there with regards to treatment with HRT, herbs/alternative and even diet, exercise and mental health are so conflicting you have to wonder why medicine is not taught to be copacetic, kind of in line with each other across the board or at least somewhere close.

I can't remember the last time I had a normal day and felt like my old self. You're not alone x

I also feel the same.  My doctor always says my blood tests look beautiful?  I am dizzy all the time and feel horrible.

She thinks it might be my sugar dropping so has ordered a 3 hour fasting glucose test.  I have no idea how i am gonna have time to do that.  i am having a hard time staying at work the last few days and just feel like crying.