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I feel so lonely

Posted , 8 users are following.

katiehollz1992
katiehollz1992

Hi I'm 23 I suffer from an emotionally unstable personality disorder and depression I have lived with this since the age of around 15 after a few bad life events, I have been on quite a few medications that just haven't done or changed anything I'm currently on aripiprazole for my moods and I'm on mirtazapine for my depression I have been on these a few months now an I still feel no change if anything my moods are more frequently and last longer I face every emotion possible in my day anger,upset, feeling excited not wanting to engage with anybody but mostly I'm just crying, and recently I've been feeling that butterfly feeling in my tummy and my hands go all sweaty its kind of like an excited feeling but at the same time i feel like im scared of something. I don't know what's going on with me I just feel very unstable at the moment and I could do with a friend or somebody to talk to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this xx

3 likes, 22 replies

22 Replies

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  • Fulefafa
    Fulefafa katiehollz1992

    Posted

    I'm just like you.

    I would like to tell you what helps me,i just chat with people online that can understand how i feel.Usually the kindness these people offer is all you need.

    And if you stick around here you will find out that this community is the best you can find,as you can see from their answers they  are willing to help you with their advices cheesygrin^

    If you manage to get out of this condition let me know too,i'd really appreciate to find a way out.It's disgusting and frustrating to fear everything around you.

    I feel exactly the way you feel right now,if you can read my only post i got you will see that we have much in common concerning our mental health.Unlike you i don't seek help at doctors and i don't want to take meds as i find them useless,it's all in our minds and only our minds can change this.Keep that in mind,looking forward to hear from you.

    • katiehollz1992
      katiehollz1992 Fulefafa

      Posted

      Hello Denis thank you for your message smile I totally agree with you this is my only way of speaking out in real life I am very isolated so I find talking to people I don't know is very helpful as they are not judging and are probably going through or have gone through something like I have, I still feel nervous most of the time and scared of something I'm unaware of and because I'm a person that needs to know exactly what I'm doing before I do it or I need to know what's going on so me feeling scared is me feeling not in control, it's took me a few weeks to realise why this is happening and it's because I've got a major issue in my life at the moment and I can't do anything about it its out of my hands and I can never fix this so maybe that's why I'm scared and nervous because this issue is stopping me from living my life so maybe you've got something going on or have you recently had any change? I don't take change very well.

      I'm not going to give you the advice of seeking help because we all knows what's best for us and I know half the time I jus wanna swerve my doctor but I just know I need them even though I don't get much help it's still better than nothing and just to know there at the other end of the phone well that's a comfort to me as I go through times thinking nobody is actually there for me. it's all a vicious cycle you need meds to help yet the side effects can out weight the positives.

      Yes your very right it's all in our minds and unfortunately people can't mind read so we need to talk and tell people how we feel so find somebody you trust and open up, I know when I talk to people I don't know it kind of helps me, you can't lose anything by trying smile hope my message helps I'm not the best at helping people but I do try xxx

    • Fulefafa
      Fulefafa katiehollz1992

      Posted

      It really means a lot,and i know i understood that we are exactly the same.

      I can understand how you are scared because you think that things aren't in your control.

      But the difference is that i love change,i can't live without it.And doctors don't care rolleyes they just do their jobs because they get paid and give you the same stuff they give to hundreds of people that go to them.

      On the other i side,in this site,you can find people like Lorraine that actually care and want to help you out of kindness.That woman has made me feel better and put me out of suicidal thoughts i had in the past.

      I could give you this advice that i've been following and that made me get out,i just realized that irl you need noone else but yourself,if you can set your mind to something and truly believe in that you can go through everything.On the other side when you are feeling low you actually need a hand to get up no matter how strong you are.That's where the people online that don't judge and are willing to understand come to aid.

      I know you are feeling desperate and that you can't get out of this condition but trust me that you can.I've done it and you can do it too.

      What i did was that i made myself fall in love with an artist and i listen to her music and that helps me A LOT.All i need is glimpse in her eyes to fill me with strength again and portion of her voice and i forget everything else that is harming me and tell myself i need to be strong for her.

      I know it sounds stupid and weird but in this condition i know that i am stupid and werid so if that helps me get out of this mental state then i'm willing to everything.But doctors are a bunch of fake people,all you need is yourself and nothing else.Maybe some people online that can actually understand and wont think of you as some weirdo just because you are opening your mind to them. wink 

      I would love to chat with you,that would help both of us to get out of this.

  • eddy1067
    eddy1067 katiehollz1992

    Posted

    Hi katie im ed...i can relate to what your going through ,though im older than you ,there is  commonality there..feel free to tell me how you are getting  on and im a good listener  and  have been through most things hence i will never judge you ,only serve to help you ..regards..ed
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