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I had to put my cat down and I can't stop crying

Posted , 23 users are following.

kenz43
kenz43

I've started to see my 14 year old cats health declining for a little while now. It got to the point that I could no longer see her suffer and had her euthanized yesterday. I have had her since she was 8 weeks old. I am devastated beyond words. I loved her as if I'd given birth to her.

How can I get through this pain and guilt I feel?

1 like, 49 replies

49 Replies

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  • susan45954
    susan45954 kenz43

    Posted

    Fourteen years is a long time to have a cat. I don't have a cat, but, I do have a dog. I know that I would be lost without Foxy if anything were to happen to her. I am very sorry for your loss.
    • kenz43
      kenz43 susan45954

      Posted

      Thank you Susan. I am completely lost. I still can't believe she's gone.
  • audrey96558
    audrey96558 kenz43

    Posted

    Agh my lovely that is awful.

    I'm so sorry for your loss, you are entitled to grieve for the loss of your pet, it's a hard time.

    I think you did the right thing though, I persisted with vet prescribed medication towards the end of my first cat's life, and quite frankly it was traumatic and stressful for both me and my cat.

    I've vowed to never do it again, and I think you did the best for your beloved pet.

    You take care huni,

    Thinking of you xxx

    • kenz43
      kenz43 audrey96558

      Posted

      Thank you Audrey. I really needed to hear that. The same happened with me. All of the medications were awful! She just wasn't the same affectionate baby I once had.

      XoXo

    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 kenz43

      Posted

      Sometimes it is just the kindest thing for you and your pet, I'm sure if they could actually talk to us they'd agree.

      I would want to go to the next life painlessly and stress free, and that's what you have given your cat.

      Please feel no guilt, feel comfort that you cared right until the end.

      Take care my lovely xxx

    • kenz43
      kenz43 audrey96558

      Posted

      Until this very moment it has never been put to me the way you have just done. I cannot thank you enough.
    • hypercat
      hypercat audrey96558

      Posted

      I did the same with one of my cats Audrey and I still feel the guilt.  That's why when my last one was a kitten I promised him that I would never do that with him and when the time came I would not let him suffer any more.   I kept my promise to him.  x
    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 hypercat

      Posted

      I am pleased you were able to keep that promise, it really is so hard to do, but I intend to keep my vow too when the time sadly comes.

      Take care xxx

    • hypercat
      hypercat audrey96558

      Posted

      Thanks Audrey.   It's not always as clear cut as with my last cat though.  He seemed fine then went downhill very suddenly.  When I took him to the vet he found a big lump by his back leg  (Must have been very quick coz I would have seen it otherwise).   He was 17 1/2 and the vet said it was probably cancer.  I said can you do this?  Can you do that?  He kept saying no and the only thing he could do was ultra sounds.   He also wasn't eating or drinking and his little stomach was swollen.  I couldn't put him through any more so my decision was made for me really.  Like I said he was 17 which is a good age. 

      It was much less clear cut with my cat before.    I have another cat now as can't live without one but he will be my last one.   He will probably see me out lol  x. 

    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 hypercat

      Posted

      I know what you mean, my first cat was evidently poorly and we did what the vet told us and forced pills down her which ultimately was traumatising for all involved, costly, and it maybe prolonged her life by a couple of months.

      We did the best we could and thought we should.

      Then her brother got ill but he wasn't suffering so we just let nature take its course, far less pain for all of us involved and he lived his last days eating tuna and drinking milk, happy as anything.

      I have a cat now and there's no way I'd suffer him or me through the trauma of medication, tests, etc.

      I guess you learn from personal experience.

      It's so hard though but I'm just trying to look at it like what I would want, I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my days pumped up on unpleasant drugs, much rather have a nice steak and fall asleep in the sunshine (or whatever the cat equivalent!).

      We all try our best don't we?

      Sorry for the loss of your pets, I think it's harder than society gives appreciation of.

      Lots of love xxx

    • hypercat
      hypercat audrey96558

      Posted

      You can only do your best Audrey.  You have got to try your best to help them heal if you can,  so forcing pills down her probably helped.  You know when your cat is suffering and when it is time.   I think a lot depends on their age and state of health.  You would try a lot more treatments for a young cat than you could with an old one. 

      A vet once said to me don't forget animals don't go through the tortuous thoughts and feelings we do,  and they are much more direct about it.  I remember my sister putting her beloved dog down.  I swear she knew and approved because she had had enough.  She gave me a look out of pain filled eyes saying thank you just before she died.   My sister was calm - I was the one blubbing lol.   x

       

    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 hypercat

      Posted

      I know as my cat I have now managed to break his leg and dislocate his ankle, came home in a right state (stupid neighbours had some kind of ungodly trap of some sort).

      He was only one at the time so he went through surgery and meds and I was more than happy, I was delighted, that the vets saved him and his leg.

      Different when they're older though. My mam's a nurse and with our first cat she had thought she wouldn't recommend that treatment in an equivalent human of that age/ ill health, but we did as the vet said.

      I think sadly some vets monopolise on the amount of love we have for our pets. It's all individual though,

      Some are great saying don't buy this product here it's half the price in the pharmacy 5 mins away, others (probably who own their practices) push the drugs on you like you aren't caring if you don't.

      I was a couple of weeks late with one "catch up" immunisation and I got such a telling off!

      We all do our best.

      My lovely cat is such a calming and healing presence though, if you are in a situation to cope with a pet I really do think it benefits mental health.

      xxx

  • hypercat
    hypercat kenz43

    Posted

    Hi Ken I am so sorry about your beloved cat.  I know exactly how you feel coz I had to take my last cat to the vet to be put down.

    I had had him as a kitten too and I was distraught and couldn't stop crying.  I kept replaying it in my head for days.   For the next 4/5 days every time I looked in the mirror I saw a cat murderer and felt overwhelming guilt  that I had betrayed his trust and love.

    The good news is after this period then the positive things people were saying to me ie he had a good life,  you did the right thing as you couldn't see him suffer etc.  took hold and I knew they were true.   I will never forget him though and his legacy is that he will live on in my heart forever.   Have you ever heard of Rainbow Bridge?  I will find and put it on here for you.

    The devastation you feel will start to ease after a few days,  trust me and the good memories will start to kick in in a while.   Hold on for now and mourn your lovely cat. 

    I am always available in pm so please do if I can help at all.

    Love and hugs  Bev xxx

     

  • hypercat
    hypercat kenz43

    Posted

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

    There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    Author unknown...

    • kenz43
      kenz43 hypercat

      Posted

      Thank you hypercat. Your consoling words are beautiful. I'd like to think that one day I'll be reunited with my little girl. Even if that never happens you and everyone on this forum has helped me realize that I did the loving thing by her by not allowing her to stay in pain. I hope today is a better day for me.
    • hypercat
      hypercat kenz43

      Posted

      You are welcome Ken.  It's a lovely piece isn't it?  Someone put it up for me when I lost my last beloved cat.  It's very comforting.  

      I know it's a clique Ken but it is true that time is a great healer.   I am grateful now that,  hard as it was,  I put him down when I did.   He was starting to suffer and I couldn't have that.

      Like I said it took about 4/5 days of feeling like a cat killer before I started to feel better.   Are you starting to feel any better yet? Take care my love.    Bev xx

       

    • hypercat
      hypercat

      Posted

      Doh - meant cliche x

       

    • kenz43
      kenz43 hypercat

      Posted

      It is a beautiful peace. It actually brought a smile to my face picturing that rainbow bridge. Today was better thank you. More than that, thank you so much for your concern.

      Xx

    • hypercat
      hypercat kenz43

      Posted

      I love the idea of Rainbow Bridge as well.  I found it very comforting which is why I pass it on to anyone who has lost a beloved animal. 

      I am glad you are feeling a bit better today.   I won't say I told you so smile  x

       

    • AbesMom
      AbesMom hypercat

      Posted

      Today i put my 15 year old cat down..I am devastated, I truly am and I needed to read about Rainbow Bridge, it was a beautiful visual. Mr. Ken I wish I could make it better for you, I know how I am feeling and would want to spare you the pain. I told Abraham today I am trying to do what is best for you ok..do you understand, blink once for yes and twice for no and he blinked once, kind of giving me persmission to go ahead. That was our thing I always thought he understood me and I always asked do you understand with a blink once for yes and twice for no..

      I felt like the executioner..he had kidney failure and I spent all week shoving water down his throat with a syringe, he would sit at the water bowl and he could not drink..i felt so bad and i knew he was dying of thirst.I feel very guilty in making him hold on so long I just could not bear parting with him..I loved him, but when he blinked once that he understood and he gazed at me like its ok..i dont feel good. So Mr. Ken you did the right thing, we did the right thing..we spared our beloved pets from more pain now we just bear grief and should feel like, well he is in a better place but it sure doesnt feel that way, does it..nooo it doesnt.  So to my fellow pet owners..do the right thing even if it feels wrong..God will take care of him over on Rainbow Bridge..I told Abe...dont be scared I will come find you one day..so thank you again for Rainbow Bridge...a huge hug for Mr, Ken and all of you who have lost your animals who we all know are family..

      Alina

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