I had to put my cat down and I can't stop crying

Edited , 22 users are following.

I've started to see my 14 year old cats health declining for a little while now. It got to the point that I could no longer see her suffer and had her euthanized yesterday. I have had her since she was 8 weeks old. I am devastated beyond words. I loved her as if I'd given birth to her.

How can I get through this pain and guilt I feel?

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  • Posted

    Hello Kenz.

    So sorry to hear of your loss. I have two cats myself, that I have had since they were tiny kittens, so can understand your feelings.

    14 years is a long time - and that shows you were the best mum a cat could have. You gave her a warm and loving home for all those years, and took good care of her. Try and remember that, and once the hurt subsides, try to think of the good memories of your dear kitty.

    You did the right thing by her - sadly, our last duty to our beloved pets is to know the right time to call it a day, so that they don't suffer, and you have done that for her.

    I had a dog many years ago, and I had to make that decision for him - and felt guilty after. That I had cut his life short....but when you look back when the pain has numbed, you realise that you did do the right thing. Take time to grieve....she is a part of your family.

    Take care of you. xx

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  • Posted

    I am so sorry and I know exactly how you are feeling.

    I took in a litter of 6 kittens born to a ferile cat in our garden, I helped her feed and rear them and she became tame.  I found homes for three of them but kept the rest, including the mother.  They were darling cats and felt like my own children, especially Eddie, who was born with an eye problem, leaving him almost totally blind.  The first to die was 16, and spaced out over the next two years they all had to be put to sleep to prevent their suffering.  Eddie was the last, he was 18 and he died at the end of last year.  I cannot tell you how much I grieved for that cat and still do...because he was blind he was more like a little dog and I took him out on a lead, he was with me constantly, sat behind me in the chair as I worked, he slept on my bed, just always there.

    I didn't know how I would get through losing him, I wanted to die with him.  Like you, I cried and cried, I was a gibbering wreck.  He is buried in my garden with a headstone marking his grave and I go to sit with him now and again.

    The only way I could cope was to try to believe that he would be waiting, together with his siblings and his mum, at Rainbow bridge and that I could be with them forever when the time came.

    Please don't feel guilty, you did what you did out of love for your beautiful girl and she would thank you for it if she could.

    Guilt is all part of the grieving process.....you will go through all the phases, but you will end up content, knowing that you gave her a wonderful, safe life of love and happiness.  You didn't even let her suffer at the end.  What more could a cat ask for?

    Don't hold your emotions in, let them out, don't bottle things up.  Plant a bush or a tree for her.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that this time of agony will pass quickly for you and you will find contentment in the knowlege that you were blessed to have her for the time you did.

    Pat xxxx

    P.S. there is a pet berievment  on the internet...maybe it would help to go there too.....but keep posting on here, let us know you go on.

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  • Posted

    You did what you had to do as an act of love, to stop her suffering.  Your pet is with you in spirit and she knows that you loved and cared for her right up to the end, and beyond.  May God bless you...so sorry for your loss. 
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  • Posted

    Hi, I just found your post. When did it start to get easier? I had to put my cat down Tuesday and I feel like a murderer and can't stop crying. Some people have been supportive but other are just like get over it .

    She had mamory gland tumors. After the third surgery I promised her no more vets. Well she did good for a month but they came back and started growing rapidly. Sunday she wouldn't eat and wasn't acting happy. So I called to make an appoint for Tuesday. Then that day she started acting better so I was regretting my decision. The tumors had went across her whole stomach at this point.

    The worst part? The first shot he gave her made her bite me and angry. So I feel like a compelete murderer, thinking she pasted hating me. Any advice for healing?

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    • Posted

      Hi sorry to hear this.  I had exactly the same problem a few months ago.  I took my beautiful 17 year old cat to the vets as he wasn't eating or drinking and his little belly was swollen.

      The vet found a big lump on his leg and said it's almost certainly cancer.  He was very negative about treatment for such an old cat and I knew it was time to let him go.  The vet rehydrated him and I took him home for 2 days to say goodbye.

      He is the first pet I have ever had to take to the vets to be put down and I was absolutely distraught.  When the vet stuck the needle in him he obviously hurt him a bit but I held him until he went.  It was very quick.  I then rushed out of the room crying hysterically so badly they game be a big towel to cry into! 

      Everyone was very nice and comforting saying all the right things etc.  but all I could see when I looked in the mirror was a cat murderer and I felt horrible. 

      However after about 5 days the nice messages people were giving me took hold and I started to recover.  I will say to you what they told me.

      Your cat had a loving and caring family and a very happy life.  You did the right thing as you can't let your beloved pet suffer as they are our responsibility.  You had to do it which shows how much you loved him.  He knew you loved him too despite the ending and you know he did. 

      Look up the verse 'Rainbow Bridge'.  This is about the place where our beloved pets go when they pass.  They are healed of all their ilness and are made young and strong again.  They are in a lovely garden and run around and play.  Then when it's your turn to pass they run to you and you spend eternity together in happiness. 

      Thinking of you.  Take care sweetie.  xxxx

       

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    • Posted

      Thank you. It really is calming to hear other pet lovers stories. To no just hear she was just a cat get over it. Get a new one.

      She was also my first animal I had to put to sleep so it was very surreal. I get her ashes back today so I'm sure I'll cry more, but I have been trying to think of other memories of her besides her being sick. Thank you again for your kind words

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  • Posted

    I can fully understand where you are and having to have my old dog Schwartz put down broke my heart. I'd put down Yoghourt pots and realise that he was no longer there. Then there was an advert. 2 almost feral dogs. A little Bitch who became a total Madam and went from living on the street to running down the beach at LaRosaire and Forbie, the most gentle dog ever. Spuddie died at age 18, sitting on my knee. Forbie got to 16.

    And that is where our responsibility comes in. We have a duty to ensure that our pets lives are as good and pain free as possible.

    Read this and take comfort from it.

    "His Apologies"

    MASTER, this is Thy Servant. He is rising eight weeks old.

    He is mainly Head and Tummy. His legs are uncontrolled.

    But Thou has forgiven his ugliness, and settled him on Thy knee ... 

    Art Thou content with Thy Servant? He is very comfy with Thee.

    Master, behold a Sinner! He hath committed a wrong.

    He hath defiled Thy Premises through being kept in too long. 

    Wherefore his nose has been rubbed in the dirt, and his self-respect has been bruised,

    Master, pardon Thy Sinner, and see he is properly loosed.

    Master - again Thy Sinner! This that was once Thy Shoe,

    He has found and taken and carried aside, as fitting matter to chew.

    Now there is neither blacking nor tongue, and the Housemaid has us in tow.

    Master, remember Thy Servant is young, and tell her to let him go!

    Master, extol Thy Servant, he has met a most Worthy Foe!

    There has been fighting all over the Shop - and into the Shop also!

    Till cruel umbrellas parted the strife (or I might have been choking him yet)

    But Thy Servant has had the Time of his Life - and now shall we call on the vet?

    Master, behold Thy Servant! Strange children came to play,

    And because they fought to caress him, Thy Servant wentedst away.

    But now that the Little Beasts have gone, he has returned to see

    (Brushed - with his Sunday collar on) what they left over from tea.

    Master, pity Thy Servant! He is deaf and three parts blind.

    He cannot catch Thy Commandments. He cannot read Thy Mind.

    Oh, leave him not to his loneliness; nor make him that kitten's scorn.

    He hath had none other God than Thee since the year that he was born.

    Lord, look down on Thy Servant! Bad things have come to pass.

    There is no heat in the midday sun, nor health in the wayside grass.

    His bones are full of an old disease - his torments run and increase.

    Lord, make haste with Thy Lightnings and grant him a quick release!

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  • Posted

    I am going through a similar thing....and it is truly devastating.  I am not a overly-emotional type but this thing is very,very hard to deal with.  My cat Thumper was so trusting, so loyal and he followed me around like my shadow.  When I had to go to the hospital for surgery he would not leave my room...my g/f had to put his food, water and everything in my room  He was beside himself with joy when I came back...literally leaped into my arms.

    I am making this too long...the nights are the worst...I stay up late reading due to insomnia and he was great company.  Everyone tells me it will take some time...but I will never be able to really get over this.  I am not only grieving but saturated with guilt believing I failed him.....that I should have studied up on his illness(kidney failure) and not simply relied on the special food the vet gave me for him.  I think I was in denial regarding his illness...and at the very end(too late) when he suddenly stopped and drinking water...I began doing a lot of research on possible remedies...I started giving him pedia lyte, charcoal and slippery elm...he seemed to be feeling better for a little while but kept losing weight...he just would not eat.  From what I have read the toxins do that...I keep thinking if I had started earlier with the charcoal I might have been able to get enough of the toxin out him to prolong his life.  As I sit here on the computer I can see him sitting on the bed watching me...I almost smile at this memory but the tears do not stop.

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    • Posted

      My best friend of 17 years died in my arms this morning.

      15 years of a happy-go-lucky life changed as he got into old age. He was diagnosed with arthritis 2 years ago and went deaf around the same time. 

      12 month’s ago he was attacked by a neighbour’s dog and had to have a hind leg amputated, and the whole trauma took a hell of a lot out of him. But what a fighter! He got through it of course. 

      His kidneys failed 4 months ago, we managed to nurse him through that with his old medicine syringe full of water. I took days off work, worked from home and tried everything I could to keep him hydrated, sleeping with him, waking up every 2 hours to give him water and mashed up food. But soon after his appetite dropped and he started to lose weight, he just wasn’t eating as much as he needed. We took him to the vets every 3 weeks for two injections - one for his arthritis pain plus a steroid injection to get his appetite up, but despite this his weight dropped from 4kg to 1.8kg.

      Throughout all this time we knew he was on borrowed time, but all it took was a little scritch round the ears and he was purring his little head off, and so we kept trying to keep him going.

      3 days ago he crashed.  I took him to the animal hospital intensive care unit where he was given fluids and nourishment through IV, but after 3 days he wasn’t responding. 

      This morning I held him in my arms as the vet game him his final injection. 

      My heart is broken, literally broken. 

      But he knew the fight was lost. As I held him for the last time I knew he had given up at last. What a brave little soldier he was! 

      yiftach83351 don’t feel guilty. You did everything you could and he knew that. You loved each other and you did all you could for him. In the end, nature always wins. Remember the joy he brought to your life and be happy, and honoured, that he chose you as his human. 

      It will take time, but it will heal. 

      Take care

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    • Posted

      You've reminded of my cat, aged 20 when he died in the road, whilst I was on holiday and sobbed my heart out! Poor fellow aw the fact that you tried your absolute best is a huge credit to you. Just take some comfort in that if nothing else. Your 'babies' fill a whole in your heart when you have no real human babies of your own! Poor cat and you.. X

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