I had to put my cat down and I can't stop crying

Hello Kenz.

So sorry to hear of your loss. I have two cats myself, that I have had since they were tiny kittens, so can understand your feelings.

14 years is a long time - and that shows you were the best mum a cat could have. You gave her a warm and loving home for all those years, and took good care of her. Try and remember that, and once the hurt subsides, try to think of the good memories of your dear kitty.

You did the right thing by her - sadly, our last duty to our beloved pets is to know the right time to call it a day, so that they don't suffer, and you have done that for her.

I had a dog many years ago, and I had to make that decision for him - and felt guilty after. That I had cut his life short....but when you look back when the pain has numbed, you realise that you did do the right thing. Take time to grieve....she is a part of your family.

Take care of you. xx

I am so sorry and I know exactly how you are feeling.

I took in a litter of 6 kittens born to a ferile cat in our garden, I helped her feed and rear them and she became tame.  I found homes for three of them but kept the rest, including the mother.  They were darling cats and felt like my own children, especially Eddie, who was born with an eye problem, leaving him almost totally blind.  The first to die was 16, and spaced out over the next two years they all had to be put to sleep to prevent their suffering.  Eddie was the last, he was 18 and he died at the end of last year.  I cannot tell you how much I grieved for that cat and still do...because he was blind he was more like a little dog and I took him out on a lead, he was with me constantly, sat behind me in the chair as I worked, he slept on my bed, just always there.

I didn't know how I would get through losing him, I wanted to die with him.  Like you, I cried and cried, I was a gibbering wreck.  He is buried in my garden with a headstone marking his grave and I go to sit with him now and again.

The only way I could cope was to try to believe that he would be waiting, together with his siblings and his mum, at Rainbow bridge and that I could be with them forever when the time came.

Please don't feel guilty, you did what you did out of love for your beautiful girl and she would thank you for it if she could.

Guilt is all part of the grieving process.....you will go through all the phases, but you will end up content, knowing that you gave her a wonderful, safe life of love and happiness.  You didn't even let her suffer at the end.  What more could a cat ask for?

Don't hold your emotions in, let them out, don't bottle things up.  Plant a bush or a tree for her.

I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that this time of agony will pass quickly for you and you will find contentment in the knowlege that you were blessed to have her for the time you did.

Pat xxxx

P.S. there is a pet berievment  on the internet...maybe it would help to go there too.....but keep posting on here, let us know you go on.

You did what you had to do as an act of love, to stop her suffering.  Your pet is with you in spirit and she knows that you loved and cared for her right up to the end, and beyond.  May God bless you...so sorry for your loss. 

Hi, I just found your post. When did it start to get easier? I had to put my cat down Tuesday and I feel like a murderer and can't stop crying. Some people have been supportive but other are just like get over it .

She had mamory gland tumors. After the third surgery I promised her no more vets. Well she did good for a month but they came back and started growing rapidly. Sunday she wouldn't eat and wasn't acting happy. So I called to make an appoint for Tuesday. Then that day she started acting better so I was regretting my decision. The tumors had went across her whole stomach at this point.

The worst part? The first shot he gave her made her bite me and angry. So I feel like a compelete murderer, thinking she pasted hating me. Any advice for healing?

I can fully understand where you are and having to have my old dog Schwartz put down broke my heart. I'd put down Yoghourt pots and realise that he was no longer there. Then there was an advert. 2 almost feral dogs. A little Bitch who became a total Madam and went from living on the street to running down the beach at LaRosaire and Forbie, the most gentle dog ever. Spuddie died at age 18, sitting on my knee. Forbie got to 16.

And that is where our responsibility comes in. We have a duty to ensure that our pets lives are as good and pain free as possible.

Read this and take comfort from it.

"His Apologies"

MASTER, this is Thy Servant. He is rising eight weeks old.

He is mainly Head and Tummy. His legs are uncontrolled.

But Thou has forgiven his ugliness, and settled him on Thy knee ... 

Art Thou content with Thy Servant? He is very comfy with Thee.

Master, behold a Sinner! He hath committed a wrong.

He hath defiled Thy Premises through being kept in too long. 

Wherefore his nose has been rubbed in the dirt, and his self-respect has been bruised,

Master, pardon Thy Sinner, and see he is properly loosed.

Master - again Thy Sinner! This that was once Thy Shoe,

He has found and taken and carried aside, as fitting matter to chew.

Now there is neither blacking nor tongue, and the Housemaid has us in tow.

Master, remember Thy Servant is young, and tell her to let him go!

Master, extol Thy Servant, he has met a most Worthy Foe!

There has been fighting all over the Shop - and into the Shop also!

Till cruel umbrellas parted the strife (or I might have been choking him yet)

But Thy Servant has had the Time of his Life - and now shall we call on the vet?

Master, behold Thy Servant! Strange children came to play,

And because they fought to caress him, Thy Servant wentedst away.

But now that the Little Beasts have gone, he has returned to see

(Brushed - with his Sunday collar on) what they left over from tea.

Master, pity Thy Servant! He is deaf and three parts blind.

He cannot catch Thy Commandments. He cannot read Thy Mind.

Oh, leave him not to his loneliness; nor make him that kitten's scorn.

He hath had none other God than Thee since the year that he was born.

Lord, look down on Thy Servant! Bad things have come to pass.

There is no heat in the midday sun, nor health in the wayside grass.

His bones are full of an old disease - his torments run and increase.

Lord, make haste with Thy Lightnings and grant him a quick release!

I am going through a similar thing....and it is truly devastating.  I am not a overly-emotional type but this thing is very,very hard to deal with.  My cat Thumper was so trusting, so loyal and he followed me around like my shadow.  When I had to go to the hospital for surgery he would not leave my room...my g/f had to put his food, water and everything in my room  He was beside himself with joy when I came back...literally leaped into my arms.

I am making this too long...the nights are the worst...I stay up late reading due to insomnia and he was great company.  Everyone tells me it will take some time...but I will never be able to really get over this.  I am not only grieving but saturated with guilt believing I failed him.....that I should have studied up on his illness(kidney failure) and not simply relied on the special food the vet gave me for him.  I think I was in denial regarding his illness...and at the very end(too late) when he suddenly stopped and drinking water...I began doing a lot of research on possible remedies...I started giving him pedia lyte, charcoal and slippery elm...he seemed to be feeling better for a little while but kept losing weight...he just would not eat.  From what I have read the toxins do that...I keep thinking if I had started earlier with the charcoal I might have been able to get enough of the toxin out him to prolong his life.  As I sit here on the computer I can see him sitting on the bed watching me...I almost smile at this memory but the tears do not stop.