1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Anxiety Disorders

I have a 15 yr old daughter with anxiety and social phobia.

Posted , 10 users are following.

fiona69779
fiona69779

She only goes into school about 3 days a week due to her anxiety. She has a targeted youth support worker and she sees CAMHS once every 2 weeks. Nothing seems to be helping her. School are trying to help but it's not working.they are worried about her attendance more I think because it affects their overall attendance figures.i have asked them about flexi schooling but after 2 weeks they haven't replied to my letters and I have emailed them to remind them I haven't heard from them.everything looks bleak at the moment and it's starting to take its toll on me too .any advice from anyone please 

3 likes, 54 replies

54 Replies

Prev
  • rachael17719
    rachael17719 fiona69779

    Posted

    I too have a nearly 14yr old with anxiety/school refusal, she's been suffering with this since primary school, she has had two lots of CAMHS which did no good at all, I paid hundreds for private hypnotherapy she wouldnt relax enough to let it work, like your child so much time off school, comments from pupils and teachers makes things worse! I've tried everything I can think of. In October 2014 she self harmed, and hasnt attended school since. This week started seeing a lovely lady from Step 2 wich is under the CAMHS belt, and was due to be taught by ESTMA at the local library. She has absolutely flipped at the thought of being taught, refusing point blank to do it. I cant get to the bottom things, all the school seem to be doing is pushing to get her back into school, my main concern is to get her well! Its taking its toll on myself and family. I just do not know what to do next! How has things progressed with you, as these posts were from 6mth ago.

     

    • Jameli123
      Jameli123 rachael17719

      Posted

      Hi Rachael

      Just thought I would let you know that my daughter refused to go to school from half way through year 9 and developed obsessive compulsive disorder too.  She is now 18 and at college doing sport looking to get to university.  She seemed to change once she knew she did not have to attend school anymore. Looking back I feel her anxiety was triggered as she felt isolated at school being in a group of bigger personalities and realising the world is often not such a lovely place as it was when she was in Primary school.  I feel the symptoms of refusal and compulsion are somehow linked to feelings of things being out of control.  She was in control when she refused to go to school, she only had to face what she knew she could cope with, the same with the compulsions, to gain control over her feelings of being out of control.  When she was 16 and school had finished she probably saw that the situation of having to go to school was no longer there and that eases her anxiety.  She still had a few compulsions but they are all but gone now and they were quite chronic.  She is very bright and perhaps her worldliness made her feel vulnerable.  I cannot really say how she got better. Situations changed and it eased her anxiety.  The one thing we had to do legally was school my daughter and the path of least resistance because it was at done at home was home schooling. This sounds scary but I got some appropriate level workbooks from the internet and larger stationers and got her to work through them. You are checked by the homeschool board but as long as she is doing the three R's and include something like cooking with you or I her own and show that she can organise etc and perhaps some outdoor walking and a project linked to the activity. It really doesn't have to too involved, just so it shows she is learning and furthering her abilities. It does mean that you have to get involved a bit but I am sure you are already more than very invested of your time already.  I kind of always knew that my daughter would do it in her own time and she did.  CAMHS were really good with their support and talking therapy helped the most. My daughter and I had sessions together and I think she felt supported by myself and we would talk afterwards and it bought some things to a head which we may not have touched on otherwise. In a way she kind of worked a lot of it out herself.  Sort of putting the jigsaw pieces together in her own time.  When someone has anxiety it can be easy to try to take away the pain and make it all better but I think I always knew that pushing my daughter when she was screaming in a comer that she could not do go to school was not going to have a positive outcome in the long run.  It is a long hard road but I truly believe that being ther and showing that she is loved and supported is the best remedy. I wish your daughter all the support in the world and she will start to find herself right when she needs to.  She knows how she feels and she always will.  She just needs to be heard. 

       

    • fiona69779
      fiona69779 rachael17719

      Posted

      Hi Rachael, i de registered my daughter in July last year and she has been a bit better since we did that as it removed some of the anxiety she had. i can only home school her for one year as i currently am a stay at home mum but i will need to go back to work at the end of this year. i explained this to my daughter. we looked into her going to college in september and she picked a health and social course . when it came time for her to attend the interview for this course she tried her best to not go but i persueded her to go. i was allowed to sit with her during the interview which went really well. all the teachers on this course are trained professionals in this field and her tutor is a psyc nurse so she fully understood when we explained about my daughters anixety problems. she fully supported our move to remove her from school and was disgusted with the school and their views about my daughter and how we should of dealt with the problems. she offered my daughter a place on the course there and then which was great. even my daughter seemed over the moon . of course when the time comes to attend she may have a change of heart and decide she doesnt want to go. but i will cross that bridge when it comes. one day at a time. i hope things are going better for you too now. at least we know we are not alone and we can seek help and advice here. :-) 
  • Jameli123
    Jameli123 fiona69779

    Posted

    Hi

    Hope all is going ok with you and you daughter.  I have just posted a reply to another member on this forum if you would like to take a look.

    Regards

    Gaynor

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.