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I have a fear of getting cancer or any type of illness, I need help.

Posted , 78 users are following.

iwanttobenormal
iwanttobenormal

I'm pretty new to these kind of forums so sorry if what I am about to say sounds utterly bonkers, but I've developed this fear of getting cancer, I feel like an utter coward and a fool for feeling like this and especially selfish to all the brave people out there fighting it. 

I can't really define what has triggered this fear as my family thankfully are very healthy specimens, however I know alot of family friends that have got different kinds of cancer, some lucky and still in remission and others not so fortunate.

I constantly fear that I have cancer, a tummy ache and i have stomach or bowel cancer, a headache and i have a brain tumour etc I am constantly poking and prodding at anything i think isn't normal for me. Its gotten so bad that i have myself in a routine now to keep myself sane, I wake up in the morning and read something awful that has maybe happened to a young female like myself and all of a sudden they have either been diagnosed or have died from cancer and then i totally freak and will pick up my laptop and check symptoms and then convince myself that I have it and then will end up having a panic attack followed by uncontrollable crying, I can't do this anymore. I have a great loving partner but this is a special year for him so he needs to be committed to the project he is working on not being my carer 24/7. I can't eat properly any more or even go out the door without fearing i might take a panic attack, I am trying to keep positive some days but I'm finding it tough, we have recently moved to Bedford so I don't have any friends to go see or talk to and take my mind of this.

Is it always going to be like this? i feel so trapped and bullied by my own mind at the moment. I just want to be normal again.

I would really appreciate any advice or tips on how I can kick this.

Thanks everyone.

x

6 likes, 86 replies

86 Replies

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  • isahose
    isahose iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    Hi everyone...so ive never joined a group like this and i quicky see how im soooo in this boat. As im typing this...i have a horrid fear that i have cancer. It all stemmed from a month ago when my pap was not normal. I had another test...not normal. Then underwent surgery (d&c and conization). No cancer...but precancer cells. I have to have a hysterectomy. During this horrible time of having to wait for the results, i was convinced i had full blown caner. From the panic and stress and anxiety i lost weight and developed stomach issues. What did i think? Stomach cancer. Got an ultrasound of the abdomen. Normal....still Im debilitated with fear. And im sick of going to get different tests because having to wait for the results is unbearable! Im slowely trying 2 get back to my old self. Stomach issues subsiding. But i still have horrible anxiety. Im exhausted, to say the least. Plus I have surgery this fri. I miss my old self, not having these irrational fears. Its terrible. Going to also see a shrink.

  • iva93411
    iva93411 iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    Wow... This is exactly what I have. Yesterday I was changing and I noticed my nipple was inverted and I felt around and I noticed that there was a lump in my left breast. I immediately started to cry because I literally thought I had cancer. And I'm only 14 sad(( I called my mom and I totally had a panic attack. She said it was pretty common among young people like me, but a day later today, I'm scared out of my mind that I have cancer! If there's anything abnormal going on, I always think I have cancersad

    • AlSpasco
      AlSpasco iva93411

      Posted

      This sounds serious, you should see a doctor as soon as possible. Inverted nipples, discharging nipples or dimples im the brest are symptoms of breast cancer. If you feel a lump anywhere in the breast, it usually means there is a tumor there. You have caught it early, and should not be so serious. But see your family doctor soon and tell someone immediately. Good news is it could be begnign, or non cancerous, meaning it will not spread to other tissues, so it will stay in the breast and not spread. Best of luck to you.
    • isahose
      isahose iva93411

      Posted

      Because you are so young, its probably not cancer. Your breasts are going thru many changes and hormones make you lumpy and bumpy. You should def see a doctor just in case...but im pretty sure its nothing!! Good luck though...and its good you are telling your parents and communicating these issues with them!!! I still lean on my parents! And im way older smile

  • Playbunnymel
    Playbunnymel iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    OMG I was thought I was abnormal for feeling this way and like I was the only person. But I have lost a lot of people that cancer and I am not helping myself I'm obese 40 ...3 children... I have sharp pain on the left side of swollen lymph nodes I mean it doesn't matter what it is I'm going to die of cancer you know what I mean. I'm a pretty easy going person but when I'm alone I have such anxiety that I can hardly deal with it. Whenever I go to the doctor to have something exam and they always say I'm just anxious I'm getting tired of it. It's not like I want to hear that I have it oh my God that would be horrible. So why do I worry

    • isahose
      isahose Playbunnymel

      Posted

      Get your lymph nodes checked out...but maybe seeing a therapist might be a good idea. They can put you on sum meds that may help ease your mind...and keep it from wandering when your alone. And if therapy isnt for you, share it with someone who can help you when you get anxious about stuff.
  • kim67504
    kim67504 iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    I feel the same way.  My Dad was always sick and I think this is where I get it from.  Always afraid I will get cancer and leave my children behind.  This month it is stomach cancer.  I have been scoped 2 times and they say I have mild gastritis.  But everytime I get heartburn or pain in my stomach, its stomach cancer.  I would also like some advice on how to deal with this.
  • alex2609
    alex2609 iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    I've just sat and read all your posts whilst laid in the bath trying to relax after a major panic attack!

    I am in your boat, I've been here before, managed to lift myself out of the fog and now I'm back with a bump.

    I feel so lethargic and tired in the evening and I'm noticing all sorts of symptoms, I have scoliosis anyway so always suffer a lot of back pain but just recently it's been agonising. I had pre cancerous cells taken away 20 years ago and I'm supposed to have annual smears now but I keep missing them and leaving it two-three years. I moved two years ago down south from Yorkshire and I feel really isolated.

    Husband is supportive but I have kids and I'm terrified of leaving them. I get in such a state I am physically sick and shaking, my stomach is upset and I am in pain and I know it's my own doing.

    I've always suffered panic attacks as dos my mum so I think it's learned behaviour. I am going to book a smear this week, I've had a little abnormal bleeding and odd twinges in the groin area and I've convinced myself it's cervical cancer and it has spread to my bones. Absolutely terrified of going to the doctors.

    I can't relax and I'm rocking about on the bed, hyperventilating.

    My mum is having radio for BC and my friends little toddler is terminally ill with it so I feel surrounded by it at the moment. So I completely understand what you are all going through, hugs all xxx

  • chealsea92892
    chealsea92892 iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    No matter what, everyday I think I have some sort of cancer. I've been urinating a lot lately and of course I Google and I'm scared I might have bladder cancer but months before I convinced I had colon cancer. A lot of restless night constantly thinking I have cancer. The worst is thinking I might die soon of cancer and leaving my 7 year old behind. ... I cry sometimes wishing if I do have cancer please let my son be older so he can understand .... I have a lot of family members on my dad's side who died and have cancer ... couple years I thought I had breast cancer because I was getting cysts but it wasn't cancer .... I forgot what the specialist said I had but I will always be getting cysts .... I know all this is bunched up and different things but I have no else to put it but just really scared .... I know it's mostly scared of dying... I think my family doctor must think I'm crazy for always coming in ..... and I know it's not related to the topic but I'm 28 years old and I haven't had my period in 6 years and I also thought I had some sort of cancer and I'm scared to see a gynecologist. .... so many questions and I have no one in family helping me with advice because I feel so alone ..... I always come on here but never ask questions .... it helps sometimes thinking I'm not the only one but i don't what else to do or say .... mostly scared but thank you for anyone who reads this

  • haseeb51681
    haseeb51681 iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    Exact same boat!!!

    See I even think if I eat this peace of bread it might contain cancer in it and I eat the bread and fear of having cancer from it.

    The sad part is it will take time for you to regain and get over the fear it took me months to fight it I still have it but it's not something that will stay for your whole life!

    • logan88906
      logan88906 haseeb51681

      Posted

      cancer isnt like bacteria or a virus its a cell refusing to die so you cant get it from anything but radiation or yourself
  • tinavalentine
    tinavalentine iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    im exactly the same, its with me the minute i open my eyes. i remember a pain ive got which then causes anxiety n then i get upset stomach. this happens every day. i think to myself it happens to loads of people and im not exempt. im so scared of leaving my family. im on medication but this hasnt stopped my anxieties. i would love to feel normal and actually enjoy life. could someone tell me more about cognitive behaviour therapy, because ive done lots of treatments but not this. i just want to be happy in life 
    • haseeb51681
      haseeb51681 tinavalentine

      Posted

      you are not the one thats for sure but there is a rule of anxiety where there are 2 ways you can go. 1. you fight anxiety and make it to its worse condition. 2nd is when you completly dont fight all you di it just forget about it there are few tricks when you have these types of thoughts how to switch your attention to something else one of my therapy assistant told me that when ever i feel anxious touch something that have a beautiful texture and feel it and think about it how its made and why is made this way. thats one but that dont quite works the other part he told me that get busy and i ended up volunteering 4 difrent places and was just busy from 8 am to 9 om at home and only come home and sleep nothing else no time to think about any thing wrong and thats how i got over it i still ahve it but because of my busy days its 80% gones i can handle it the most so thats 2 ways you to go from extreme anxiouse to a place where you can slightly enjoy your life 
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