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I have had Bipolar Disorder for most of my life, but wasn't diagnosed until about seven years ago. It was more of a self diagnisis really, I couldn't understand why I was behaving in such an irrational way and put the cause down to the impact of a dysfunctional childhood which was full of emotional and physical trauma. I read a book about Manic Depression and my symtoms jumped from the page. Because I am a gifted pianist, at first I thought that it was vaguely glamourous because so many creative people have had this illness. We only hear about the ones who have managed to survive though. At the age of nineteen two international concert pianists wanted me to go to Music College. If I had known then that I had this illness I would have been on medication and perhaps managed to find the stability and discipline to follow it through. I'm an intelligent and articulate person and have tried to do so many things in life which have all ended in failure. I'm not sure what i want to do with my life at the moment, but am in no hurry to make a decision. Lithium really does help to get you on an even keel. If you stay on that roller coaster without taking any medication - you'll just keep going around in circles and achieve nothing. That alone is enough to make anyone depressed!
By not sticking with Lithium I have managed to lose my job, a house without a mortgage, lots of nice people who were friends and my self esteem. This illness is like a wild dog - it has to be tamed. Acceptance is the hardest thing. Admitting that you have a problem. Don't be fooled by this illness. If you feel ok - it doesn't mean that you are cured. It's an illness which is going to be around for the rest of your life, but that doesn't mean that you have to let it cripple you. I was on Lithium last year and came off it because I felt better. It was a huge mistake. I got involved with a business partner who took me for a ride and i lost a lot of money. If I had still been on Lithium, maybe when I got stressed I would have been able to cope a lot better, but it's too late to know. Good luck - and for heavens sake go and see your GP if you need medication. You owe it to yourself and to all those people that love you.:ok:
[i:40d621b6b4]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:40d621b6b4]
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