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I have no idea what to say

Posted , 6 users are following.

Heather924
Heather924

I was diagnosed with depression back in August, which isn't a very long time, but I've been feeling this way for over a year now. I'm 16 years old, my 17th birthday coming quickly and I can't seem to get a grip on my own life, even though, in theory, I have nothing to feel so bad about. But reality is a different story which I can't control. I'm not really sure what to say here, I was recommended from a transgender friend of mine to seek some help outside my counsellor from other people who are experiencing the same thing as I am.

My doctor said that my depression was brought on from loss. May it be through death or list leaving me, which has happened quite a lot in such a short series of time. My nana died ten years ago which hurt a lot and that's where it started. About 6 years ago, my dad moved to England (I'm from Scotland) which is always hard. Last year is when it really started to get bad. My best friend started dating the guy I liked and told me not to speak to him so I stopped talking to them both which was absolutely heartbreaking. I didn't know what to do and I was devastated for months. This happened in the summer of 2014. A few months later, in December, my papa died after battling cancer for months, whilst he lived with us, and that completely broke me. I haven't been the same since. I'm not interested in much anymore and I don't feel like counselling is helping me. I don't know what else to do, where else to turn to. I'm so tired of this situation and I just don't want to disappoint anyone, especially my mum. It also didn't help when my brother moved out. A couple of weeks after he moved to England, I was diagnosed with depression.

I just had to get all of that out and if anyone has any advice, that would be great, any ideas on how I can be proactive and help myself and stop feeling so unreasonably down all the time. I wouldn't be surprised if this is ignored due to its length but it had to be said, one way or another. Thank you for reading if you took the time.

2 likes, 31 replies

31 Replies

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  • julian33896
    julian33896 Heather924

    Posted

    That sounds like a lot to handle, especially since you are still very young. Have you seen a psychiatrist yet?
    • Heather924
      Heather924 julian33896

      Posted

      It feels like it too, Julian. I haven't seen a psychiatrist but I have been seeing a counsellor for about 7 weeks now but I'm still feeling the same way.
  • shirley17649
    shirley17649 Heather924

    Posted

    Hi Heather,

    You sound a really strong person who has had a lot to deal with too early on in life.

    Counselling might work eventually but maybe you need to go to your GP for medication too?

    Time is a great healer but you really need something to tide you over this rough patch while you wait for time to pass.

    Better times will come but you need to be ready to enjoy them when they do.

    Hang on in there.

    • Heather924
      Heather924 shirley17649

      Posted

      Thank you, Shirley, it's nice to hear something positive every once in a while.

      My counsellor says that she thinks she can help me but I'm starting to lose faith in that possibility since it has been about 7 weeks and I don't see any change. Medication was suggested to me but I feel like this is something I want to overcome without them. I want to be proactive rather than reliant on medication, but that's not to say that it isn't a wonderful option. I just feel like I want to explore every option first and only use them as a last resort.

      I really hope so, Shirley. I don't usually like to talk about my problem, it felt like a massive weight on my shoulders that I couldn't let anyone know about because it might lessen their opinions of me or put me into an attention seeking category when that isn't what it is. I'm becoming more open with my issue and I want to discuss it with others to share opinions and help people too.

      Thank you for taking the time to reply, it really does mean a lot that someone even took the time to acknowledge me.

      All the best for you.

    • julian33896
      julian33896 Heather924

      Posted

      That's great that you're starting to want to talk about it more. That's definitely a great step in the right direction. Have you been following your normal routine everyday?
    • Heather924
      Heather924 julian33896

      Posted

      Thank you very much for saying so. I've been trying my best to but I usually have to force myself rather than it coming naturally which is a bit of a pain.
  • Tancam
    Tancam Heather924

    Posted

    Not at all dismissing the pain and dismise you're experience; there are a few things that strike me: 

    It is never unreasonable to feel down. One might seem like a person on top of the world, everything mapped out and kosher, but it still might not be enough inside. When people die, separate or move.. it really is a lot to take in. When someone we love is ill and we can't do anything about it or we withold our own needs out of courtesy; - that is devastating too.

    Now, I wonder why your best friend 'forbade' you to speak to the guy you liked? Seems like game-play - in which case that will pass once the three of you overcome whatever emotions her/him getting together with him triggered.

    You mentioned a transgender friend. Is transgender something you're thinking about? I've learnt through friends that parts of Scotland can be quite unforgiving in such circumstances.

    You will find your way around all the grief and the depression it can evoke. Don't try too hard. Hang on in there and give yourself some time to get to bottom of it. Give yourself time to grieve your losses. It's when you fight your emotions, you can't progress and you certainly can't feel love for your self or anybody else.

    • Heather924
      Heather924 Tancam

      Posted

      You've basically put my thoughts into words which is quite amazing. It is difficult to handle the problems, however minimal.

      No, I am not transgender but I am very supportive of the LGBT community and I associate largely with people in that group.

      I'm definitely going to continue to try and move on and get better. Hearing all the positive comments on this page has helped already. I don't usually talk about my depression so I never get much opinions from anyone so it's nice to hear from people who understand. Thank you.

  • gabriel24
    gabriel24 Heather924

    Posted

    Maybe you got really stressed out by the fact that people you would usually count on are no longer there leaving you just with your mum.So maybe a weight has been put on your shoulders.To much stress for a longer period of time can lead to depression. Being sad doesn't help either.

    You can't really change things that happened already.Try to be active,find comfort in something you like.

    Good choice for not taking pills.No pill can heal heart wounds.You will be ok in time just need to have around people that care about you and you for them and move on with the life.

    • Heather924
      Heather924 gabriel24

      Posted

      It does feel awfully stressful losing people you trust. There's only a small amount of people that I feel I can actually count on. That's definitely how I'm feeling right now.

      It's something I've definitely been trying to do but its difficult to focus on things and find something I'm interested in now.

      Thank you for saying so, it means a lot to be appreciated for my decisions. I've tried to surround myself with people that I care about and that care about me but its always difficult trying to find those types of people but it feels great with the people that I have found. Thank you for replying to me.

  • stevo1975
    stevo1975 Heather924

    Posted

    Hi Heather you have certainly had a tough break doll I feel for you!! However I cant help but feel how brave and strong you are for asking for help and having depression for you in reaction from this bad run of grief maybe be managed easier with the help of temp medication councilling worked for me after being on meds almost like that was the mental rehab I needed. See you're GP about medication as that will get you on the road to recovery smile
    • Heather924
      Heather924 stevo1975

      Posted

      Thank you for saying so! I do feel genuinely inspired when reading positive comments from people, such as yourself. Medication is always an option and I feel like it's a safety net for me that I should only use when things are really bad. I'm trying everything I can, out before I start meds, just in case there is any other method that works we for me. Since I am young, I tend to want to turn to other forms of "medication" as I know that some teenagers do not fare well under medication, however it is definitely always am option I have tucked at the back of my mind. Well done for getting through your own depression as I can imagine it must have been a huge weight on you and it must feel fantastic to have it finally lifted. I hope that I can become better too and even just knowing that people have gone through the same as I have and have pulled through it makes me even more determined to face this problem head on and improve myself in the process.

      Really, well done for escaping from this, dark, suppressing hole and moving on with your life. It takes a strong person to achieve that.

      Thank you for taking the time to reply to me, I appreciate all that you've said and suggested smile

    • stevo1975
      stevo1975 Heather924

      Posted

      Hi Heather its my pleasure to help anytime just drop us a line we are here for you in this time! I feel normal again after taking citalopram my plan is to stop and wean off after a few months kinda like its a plaster and once I'm healed i can remove it thats all the medication does its not addictive it just balances one out from the inbalancement, You will get there Heather dont lose hope when your really down just remember thousands of people go through this and return to happiness smile Take care 
    • Heather924
      Heather924 stevo1975

      Posted

      Thank you, ill make sure to keep what you say in mind. I appreciate knowing there are people out there that have experienced the same thing as me. Hope you're doing well smile
    • stevo1975
      stevo1975 Heather924

      Posted

      Yep doing great Heather but like everything good days and not so good from where I was to know its almost 360 degrees! I think everyone goes in to semi shock once they think they have depression or an illness they become consumed with fear things will never retrun to normality and its easy for friends and family to say "you'll be ok" or "cheer up" whilst in our minds we think we have entered absolute hell on earth! The best mindset going forward for me was staying focused and not allowing myself to drift into dark thoughts or trying to over think things i went on anti depressants to balance things and citalopram saved my life really just enough for me to get the wil back to manage things better again. You sound likea strong minded person Heather from what you say and I know you will again be happy just keep the faith smile 
    • Heather924
      Heather924 stevo1975

      Posted

      I feel really grateful for all the kind words and I will keep in mind everything you've told me. I'm glad to hear that antidepressants were the right choice for you and maybe at some point, they will be for me too. I'll keep my head up and push on because, looking on the bright side, things can only get better smile
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