I have no support from my husband

Sorry to hear things are not so good for you.

Is there no chance of you both going to counselling together?

I understand how hard it must be from both points of view, my last husband retaliated with anger whenever I had a low period, even after I overdosed he threatened to throw me out of our home if I didn't "sort myself out" if only it was that easy 😏

On the other hand, I can empathise for people who live with us that have this god awful illness, it's a bit of a roller coaster and they probably feel out of their depth even trying to understand it, maybe they really do believe we can just turn it off and on at will

I certainly haven't got an answer for you, I sooo wish I did, my decision was to leave my husband after 13 years. But don't give up on yours yet, maybe if he is willing to do counselling as a couple, he would come to understand it more, also, if he has an addiction for porn, has he got any skeletons in the cupboard that could account for having any kind of addiction?

Maybe you both need help and support?

I'm sorry I can't help, but there's always someone on here that you can chat to, I've been on here a lot myself recently

Please let me know how you get on

Big hugs

But on reading the rest of your post I am horrified.  My first though is that your depression could be caused by his behaviour instead.  He doesn't think it will help you by being angry with him at all - he is using you as his punchbag and taking his own problems out on you.   He is not thinking of you at all is he?  Only himself. 

From what you say you are the victim of abuse.   Not only physical abuse can be a part of relationships but so can emotional abuse.  This can be even worse because he is making you doubt yourself and feel bad about yourself isn't he?  Do you think he could be suffering from depression?  Men are more likely to externalise it through anger,  whilst   women tend to internalise it like you are doing. 

To be honest I can't see much hope for this relationship.  Unless he changes his attitude towards you I can't see much future.   I think he is the problem not you.  He is dragging you down until you become unsure of yourself and lack confidence.  Have you tried Relate or any other marriage counselling?  Would he go?  

If things don't change eventually he will turn you into a shadow of yourself and it will be harder to leave.  You will of course in the end unless you become one of those beaten down broken women who jump when their husband speaks. 

I am so sorry you are in this situation - but don't forget what I said - this is emotional abuse and you need to tackle it while you still can.  Good luck and let us know how you get on.   Take care  Bev xx

I agree with Bev. I know you love your husband, but think you need to stand back and take a good hard look at your relationship without any emotion involved.

A true loving partnership is about supporting each other through the many challenges of life. being their when your partner is hurting, discussing issues of concern without fear of rejection.

Lots of men are into porn, this activity doesn't mean he finds you unattractive. Marriage involves compromises and if he knows this effects and upsets you he should be willing to stop viewing it. I'm appalled that you shared your bulimia with him and got zero comfort or concern from him.

He is demonstrating all the classic control signs. Eg lashing out, calling you crazy, making you feel alone at a time of need eg. Sleeping on the sofa. Making you feel unattractive etc.

kris depression, bulimia and motherhood without support not only is very difficult, it could make you extremely ill. Do you have a good relationship with your parents or siblings to get their views and support? Have you got your eating disorder under control? Without proper nutrition your depression will hang around longer. I would say concentrate on loving and accepting yourself. The more you do this the more empowered you will become. I'm sure you are a fantastic mother and now you must be fantastic about loving yourself. Don't let him or anyone else make you feel bad about yourself. If he sees his words and actions hurt you.....ask yourself .....is this love? Can this man change his ways? Is this the life I signed up for, upon marrying this man? Can this man enrich and add companionship and happiness to my life?

Kris. When we love someone so much it's easy to overlook their transgressions and put up it by convincing ourselves that they will change.. bottom line is that we need to change by not accepting their behaviour.

Wish you strength Kris to put your cards out on the table and tell him straight what you will and won't accept.

God bless x

Sounds like there are a lot of issues with acceptance from him maybe he doesnt know how to behave and support? its not cool the way he responds if he cant accept you have an illness then he needs to learn if he wants to be your partner! The porn thing is probably not healthy as he will expect a porn star partner not who you are (possibly) it tends to upset relationships due to the expectations men have off their partners in some cases they leave dissatisfired so I think you need to see a counsillor for your relationship.

I am so sorry you are going through this, I know how is it like not to have support of loved ones regarding to anxiety and depression. I also agree with Bev regarding your relationship; more than just not supporting you, this man is psycologically abusing you and getting things worse. I really hope your child is not suffering with all that as well, because when I was young I got traumatized by my father's agressive behaviour and this became later one of the causes of my depression and anxiety today, perfectionism and fear of things to go wrong, lack of confidence, etc.

You could look for financial advice in your commumity, they might have a counsellors for that, and there are several small free online courses of domestic finance you can take that might help you out overcoming your problems with the debts and planning things out. Believe that you can live without him and you will be ok like that, may be hard in the beggining but it is better than suffering with all his anger and abuse at home. Do what is best for you and your child.

You could also look for support groups for women regarding to domestic violence and abuse, they usually have free counsellors and are able to guide women that are going through this problem you have, or at least refer you to more specialized help.

I hope my message could confort you in some way and that you can overcome this problem with strengh and determination.

Stay strong! You are not alone

I use too have the same issue , I lacked major attention from my relationship ,, and when that happened I turned to other things .. Which caused even more issues.

Does he watch porn because you don't have sex with him ? Not trying to get all involved in your life or anything...

But if he is literally addicted to porn then he needs some help with that ....

And the fact of him constantly watch porn can make you feel even more insecure ...

Does he call you beautiful or anything like that ? You guys don't talk at all ?